A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night I cheated on my boyfriend and right after, I told my boyfriend what happened and now were having a talk today, and I don't even know what to say other than I'm sorry.We've been dating for two years and I don't want to stay away from him, I realise that he can no longer trust me, and that it will take him a long time to forgive me, and I don't know what else to do to make it right.Any siggestions?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 You need to think about what made you cheat in the first place? Were you drunk? Do you acutally have feelings for the person you cheated with? Figuring out why you did it will be very important, because if you were just drunk then while it is a pretty rubbish excuse, it is unlikely that it was anything to do with your feelings towards your relationship. But if you did it for a different reason, then this is showing signs that you are not happy with your boyfreind even if you dont want to admit this.
You are very young and something like this was bound to happen if you have been with him for 2 years, and the reason you told him straight after was because you felt guilty and needed to offload your guilt fast. But this isnt always the right thing to do - if you make a silly mistake like this that you will never ever do again, then maybe it is best to keep it to yourself to save your boyfriend the hurt. Then you keep the guilt to yourself and your punishment is having to live with that guilt.
I dont think your boyfriend will be able to forgive this; men can forget but not forgive, whereas women can forgive but not forget. You also dont mentioned exactly what you did with this other person? Was it just a kiss? Or did you have sex with them? If it was a kiss then maybe your boyfriend will be able to get over it. If it was more, then it is not looking likely that he will want to stay together.
You need to bear in mind that if you truly loved your boyfriend you would not have done this; therefore maybe this just shows you are not right for each other. I think you need to be prepared to lose your boyfriend here; cheating is just about the worse thing you can do. I once cheated on my boyfriend when I was 17, and there was no going back from that point. He just never could trust me again or think of me in the same way again.
I hope this helps!
A
male
reader, Tewebag  +, writes (18 March 2009):
The talk today (if he has an respect for himself) will probably end you two. If he doesn't end it you should, because you shouldn't play around like that. (I have a thing against girls cheating so Im probably going to be really harsh). He doesn't deserve someone (don't know him but no one deserves that) who will sleep around with other guys (or girls if you swing that way). If you really loved him you wouldn't have taken the progress with another guy (or girl) to the point of cheating. Just leave him. From the tone of your post (you can have a tone in a post?) you don't seem to care about the fact that you cheated on him. You don't care that much any more.
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