A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have a 2 year old together. At the time we both had great jobs. I took a year off for maturnity leave. Now, my boyfriend thinks that because he had to help support me when i was on maternity leave...he thinks i owe him this huge sum of money. He is refusing to help with the bills now that i am back at work. He says that he shouldnt have to pay because i owe him. He says im selfish for asking him for help with the bills and for not paying him back quickly..Is he right in thinking i owe him?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 March 2009):
 I still say he's a greedy bugger. If he helped you with your student loan then I would pay back ( over time) the amount he paid out. I wouldn't pay him a cent for anything else.
Since you aren't married, technically your student load isn't "common" debt.
I still say he's being an ASS.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsee he helps out with our daughter in terms of diapers, toys etc. The bills are what he says i owe for. Eg. We rent our house because the buying market was too high, power gas etc. When i was on maturnity leave employment insurance gave me very little. It was enough to feed the baby and pay my student loan that is it. I needed him to help or my student loan would have defaulted or worse we would have been evicted. I gave him every cent that i had after i paid my student loan.
He believes that the only rent he was responsible for was his own portion and well as bills, but i mean i couldnt work. Someone had to be here with our daughter
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (18 March 2009):
 NO.. You don't owe him anything, is he crazy. He should pay you for having and caring for his child. Being a mom is a full time job, your husband is out of his mind.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 March 2009):
What is wrong with him? I can understand if it was't HIS baby too and you two had an agreement written or verbal that he would pay while you were on leave, and tha you would pay him back.
Kick his petty ass out and get child support.
If you breastfeed the baby is he going to pay you half the cost of what formula would have been?
He's controling as all get out.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 He is not right at all! He is the selfish one here! Like Jessica04 said, if you had split up then over the time period where you were on maternity leave, he would have had to pay child support anyway. So basically he was just fulfilling he role as a father, because all fathers have to financially support their children.
He is treating this like the child belongs to you and he has no part to play in the financial provisions for your child. I wouldnt put up with this at all, he is completely out of line here.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Hmmmm and how many times did your boyfriend get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby ? How many shitty diapers did he volunteer to changs ? Did he ever spend time with the baby to give you a break ?
And...NO he is not right !
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (18 March 2009):
 No, he is not right. In fact, his helping while you were on leave can be construed as child support, so he was just doing what a court would have ordered.
Also, did you not receive anything while on maternity leave? I know it can be different for some employers?
Tell him to get his head out of his ass and help pay for his child.
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