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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Am I wrong to be angry about her night out in Mexico?
Q. My wife is a bilingual ed teacher here in our home state. She took a recent job-related trip to Mexico to finish a certification she needs as a teacher in multiple languages. While there, she and her coworkers also had time to go out drinking and ...
A. 15 April 2010: Well you can be angry all you want but its not going to change the situation now is it! What you are upset about is that all this happened when she was so far away, hence you feel completely out of control in the situation. When your partner is in ... (read in full...)
My Dad treats me like a child
Q. my dad is too controlling. i'm 19 years old and i'm at uni and i've moved 30 miles away from home. i live in a flat with 4 other girls and i look after myself and take responsibility for all that i do. my problem is that whenever i ...
A. 14 April 2010: Well all you can do is talk to him and tell you how you feel. He obviously cares for you and is a bit over-protective, so if you talk to him then hopefully he will be understanding and be happy that you could go to him to talk about this. Generally ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I'm glad my brother has been sectioned?
Q. My younger brother(17) has had anorexia for the last 2 years and he has always resisted treatment but he has got so bad that he was sectioned yesterday. I was talking to my sister and I said I was glad as he will finally get the help he needs wh...
A. 14 April 2010: I dont think it is wrong at all, it is a good thing that you want your brother to get help and if being sectioned is what it takes then so be it. Of course you will be upset that it has come to this, hence why you are not really "glad" he has been ... (read in full...)
How long should you be with somebody before meeting family and friends?
Q. I have a feeling this is going to get pretty long so apologies in advance and thanks in advance to anybody who manages to get through it all. I left school in '08. My last year of school I had a new teacher. She was nice enough, always late, set...
A. 14 April 2010: Well generally I think if you really like someone and want a real relationship with them then you will meet friends and family after a month or so. It will be different for everyone but to have not met any friends or family after 6 months is quite ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for considering abortion over bringing a child in to an unstable environment?
Q. Well, I been dating a guy for about seven months. I notice that he had several woman friends. I have issue with trusting him. I went by his house and notice a car park in his driveway, next to his. I knocked on the door several times he didnt answer ...
A. 14 April 2010: No I dont think you are wrong at all - if you feel an abortion is the right thing to do then it is fine. This is entirely your own decision and you should not let anyone else influence your decision - after all you are the one that has to live with ... (read in full...)
Nothing is putting me off wanting a baby, am I really ready at 14 or is it just a phase?
Q. [Moderator's Note: Poster's real age is 13, not 18-21] okay, this question wasnt posted for me to be insulted. so if you have a problem then please leave your comments out. im 13, nearly 14, and i am desperete for a baby. i was watching a docum...
A. 8 April 2010: Basically NO you are not ready for a baby and YES it is just a phase.
This sort of question is asked a lot on this site, by many girls aged between 13 and 18. So this is pretty much what I say to all of them:
First of the all the reason you "... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant! Can I rely on my boyfriend?
Q. okay so im 4-5 weeks pregnant, my boyfriend doesn't know im pregnant yet but he knows that i missed my period and even said he would want me to keep it if i was. so i tested and i am, i am going to tell him when im ready though. i have been thinking ...
A. 8 April 2010: Ok at the end of the day if you are keeping this baby then you have to acknowledge that your boyfriend is the baby's father and the child deserves to have its father in its life - you cannot think about denying your boyfriend access to the child ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and pregnant
Q. I am 15 and pregnant with my boyfriend of 3 years. Yes I know I'm silly please don't bring that up, all I'm asking is for help. Anyway, I have been to the clinic as it is half term, I am getting an abortion, both me and my boyfriend are 50/50 about ...
A. 7 April 2010: Yes you can tell the school nurse, although I am not sure if they are bound by doctor/patient confidentiality like doctors are. You could always visit your GP - they cannot tell your mum anything and at least you could have a chat with an adult who ... (read in full...)
Ready to lose virginity at 13, everyone else has!
Q. MOD NOTE: Age posted is not right, poster says they are 13, NOT 19) hi. im greenpink, im 13 years old (i'll be 14 in may) and i think that i am ready to loose my virginty. we just offically met a few days ago (through mutual friends) but i have bee...
A. 7 April 2010: I dont know what "sulibit" is so I'm just going to have to leave out that part I'm afraid - maybe there will be someone else who understands what that means who will be able to help you. Ok I am going to tell you about when I lost my virginity - b... (read in full...)
Not your usual crush on a teacher
Q. Ok, I'm in college and I've never ever liked a teacher, but this semester I'm taking a French conversation class, and the language resident teaching it is a young (student-young) guy who I find, well, really hot. He's quite professional about the ...
A. 6 April 2010: Dont pursue him, there really is no point in doing that. Teachers are not allowed to date students, regardless of the age of the teacher so he would lose his job if he dated you. Therefore you should not put him in a position where his job could be ... (read in full...)
Sore, red, and itchy after unprotected sex.
Q. i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend about a month ago.my vagina was sore and red for a couple of days a think its only because we did it like 8times in like 3days aha oops! i got my period last week and that was fine :) but now its itchy and a ...
A. 6 April 2010: Well after having unprotected sex there is a chance you could have an STD, so you need to visit your doctor and get tested. If you dont get tested then there is a chance any STD you have will be left untreated and it can get worse, so it is very ... (read in full...)
The break-up that brought me to my knees
Q. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years and just recently broke up with my girlfriend. We had been really close for almost the entire time we were together. She was 17 when we started dating and now she is in college. I loved her with all ...
A. 1 April 2010: After reading all this I expected to give you a long detailed answer but actually the answer is very simple.
The guy she wanted (the older man) turned her down - so she has come crawling back to you because she does not want to be alone. You are ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is begging me to give her another chance......
Q. Hey people, Thanks for following and helping me out I really appreciate it. This morning I told her how I felt about everything and how I feel like I'm being slapped in my face etc. etc. The last thing I said to her was "Your breaking my heart. ...
A. 1 April 2010: Just something to help you get more answers - it would be a really good idea to provide the link to your other question so we all know what is going on. To other people that did not answer your last question this all will seem very odd and they will ... (read in full...)
Should I consider getting back together with him while he's so close with this other girl?
Q. I don't really know if I'm looking for advice, or just to see what other people think of this situation, but here goes. I broke up with my boyfriend about two months ago, for various reasons but that is not to say we had a bad relationship. As soon ...
A. 31 March 2010: I dont really understand - you broke up with him but 2 months later all those reasons for breaking up with him have vanished and now you want him back?
Generally you break up with someone for a good reason, so has that reason now changed?... (read in full...)
Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't just dump him?
Q. I love this guy with all my heart; he's my first love, and every time I think about us breaking up I just start to cry. We began our relationship online in 2008, but since he and I were both under 18 and living on opposite sides of the country, we ...
A. 30 March 2010: I cant think of a single reason. My only question is why on earth are you on here asking this question when you already know what you should do? ... (read in full...)
Why did he do that?? He's destroyed me!
Q. my bf ( should I say my ex) accused me of cheating and messing him around. and didn't contact me for 2months and i didn't call him either cos I knew he was not interested anymore so i got on with my life hoping hed contact me. he rang me on ...
A. 30 March 2010: "I knew he was not interested anymore so i got on with my life hoping hed contact me." That sentence is a complete contradiction! On one hand you know he is not interested in you however you are hoping that a man who clearly does not want to be with ... (read in full...)
I'm always the "other woman"
Q. i am relatively young, and still have a long way to go in my life, but for the most part i am extremely mature for my age. Although i have had alot of life experience, i have never had a real boyfriend.This isnt to say that i dont have experience ...
A. 29 March 2010: Ok. To answer all of your questions:
1. It is not for us or you to decide whether they are right for each other. We dont know what their relationship is like, and you only know the one side of it when your ex comes crawling back moaning about he... (read in full...)
I didn't say no, but I was pushing him away and then I passed out. Was it rape?
Q. Last night i went to a small party of about 20 people. We played beer pong and all of us got really really hammered. My friend put me to bed and another male friend ended up sleeping in the same bed as me. At first we just talked and we cuddled, but ...
A. 29 March 2010: In my opinion no this is not rape, but if you go to the police I'm sure you would at least have some sort of case for rape.
The reason why I do not think it was rape is because a. you were drunk and allowed yourself to get into that situatio... (read in full...)
Any advice as I am hurting my husband but I just can't force myself to participate.
Q. My husband has a child from a previous relationship. The mother of the child is very protective of him and really does not like to let him out of her sight. He is her only child. The child stays with my husband alternate weekends. when the child is ...
A. 28 March 2010: I can understand why she wanted to speak to you on the phone before she allowed her child to be around you - that is good behaviour from her because you cannot just let any old person spend time with your child. But to call you those names is not ... (read in full...)
I miss him so badly! How can I see him before July?
Q. ok i have to post this question again auz i didn't got ne reply except 1... i am in a commited relationship. i and my bf love each other like mad.. its a ldr. ok so the situation is that few months back my bf used to visit me every month and we u...
A. 28 March 2010: Well if he has a few days spare every now and then ask your parents if he can come to stay for a couple of days, and then if they say yes then you can invite him to come and see you. Inviting your boyfriend to visit you is not weird and he should ... (read in full...)
What on earth is up with my teacher and the food?! please help
Q. My teacher brought in cake/sweets for our class because it was end of term. He does this usually, it is really lovely of him he has brought in things like Krispy Kremes for our year 12 (like 11th grade?) sixth form class before, and only us not the ...
A. 28 March 2010: Its probably nothing. It is quite rude to turn down food when a teacher has made an effort to bring it in for his class, so he was probably a bit annoyed that you did not appreciate his gesture, hence why he kept asking you if you would like some.
... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend asked me if I would ever have a threesome!
Q. ok so as the title says, my ex girl friend asked me if i would ever have a threesome a while back. im not sure if it was just a question to see what kind of guy i was or if she was serious? i dont really think she's into girls but i just have that ...
A. 28 March 2010: How do you know she wanted the threesome to be with another girl? She might have wanted you and another guy to be involved!
There are 2 things here;
1. She is your ex - why do you care? You are no longer in a relationship so something sh... (read in full...)
18, pregnant and so confused about what to do.
Q. hi. i have recently found out im 9 weeks pregnant and i am so terrified. i havent told anyone yet, not even my boyfriend who i have been with for a year. i am going to tell him when i feel ready, i dont believe in abortion but now im thinking of i...
A. 26 March 2010: The main question is could you live with your decision if you have an abortion? Would you be able to accept it was the right thing to do in the situation, or would you hate yourself forever?
It has to be a decision you can live with - having a... (read in full...)
Would losing weight make my breasts smaller?
Q. I know this isn't about relationships but I hope you can help me. I would like to hear from anyone who has knowledge or experience about this. How much smaller would a person's boobs be likely to get if they lost 30 pounds? Would they be l...
A. 26 March 2010: Ok yes you will lose some weight off your chest - this is normally one of the first areas you lose weight as a woman because breasts are made up of fat mostly, so it is an easy place to lose a bit of weight. However, you wont lose loads of weight ... (read in full...)
What are my rights??? Airport Human Body Scanning?
Q. I am due to be flying in about a month's time. I really really detest the idea of this whole human body scan thing where any odd person can view my private parts and genitals. Most men don't seem to think it is a big deal, but as a woman it is a ...
A. 24 March 2010: What would you rather have, a quick scan by someone who will never see you again and only be able to see what looks like an x-ray (rather than a graphic picture in full colour of your breasts and genitals), or to be blown up by a terrorist?
Whoev... (read in full...)
How short is too short to date?
Q. hi is it true that girls wont even notice a guy shorter than 6" ? i heard that they always say "at least taller than me" but they are actually looking for tall ones right? can girls tell how short is too short to notice? and how short is too ...
A. 24 March 2010: I am dating a man who is 5"8, and we are very happy together (I'm 5"2). I also know plenty of my friends who have boyfriends under 6ft. Generally as long as you are taller than the girl (you wont have a problem with this as not many girls are 5"10+) ... (read in full...)
I know I'll never be a 'girly' girl, but how can I appear more feminine?
Q. I have just been tagged on Facebook in a picture that goes back a few years back where I was a "tomboy". And in someways its kind of knocked my confidence. I dont look like that anymore, since I have changed alot. But looking back at an actual i...
A. 24 March 2010: De-tag the photo and never look at it again! that is one way around it!
But in all seriousness, stop trying to be something you are not. If you are a bit of a tomboy then embrace it, there is nothing wrong with being a little bit masculin... (read in full...)
Should I drop the class or go after her?
Q. There's a girl in one of my classes who I really like. REALLY like. It's not my best class, actually it's my worst, and I'm not sure whether or not to drop it and pick up another half course next year. It's probably better to stick with it, but I ...
A. 24 March 2010: I'm sure you can still be friends even if she is not in your class! You cannot put a potential relationship with someone who has just broken up with a guy over your education, that is just crazy. Your education is your future, failiing a class could ... (read in full...)
I moved with my boyfriend to another city but I can't find a job and he can no longer support me for free. Please help!
Q. ive asked for advice on here before but now i think it time i asked again... im feeling extremely stressed. everything feels like its falling around me. about five months ago i had a perfect plan. i have an amazing boyfriend who lives with...
A. 24 March 2010: http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/Jobseekerallowance/index.html
First of all you can get jobseekers allowance if you are unemployed and looking for work (as long as you are not a student - i.e. returning to uni this... (read in full...)
Changing my ways to win a good girl... I need advice.
Q. Hello, all. I've got a few insecurity issues atm. I'm currently 21 and though I won't reveal my title, I'm an Earl in the south of England. I'm valued at over £6 billion and control my father's estate. I've always been what my parents and exes...
A. 22 March 2010: All you can do is spend time with her and show her you do not behave that way anymore. Actions speak louder than words, so there is nothing you can say to her that will change your mind - you are just going to have to spend more time with her ... (read in full...)
How can I turn my 80% good man into a 100% perfect man?
Q. My boyfriend is a good man" but there's one problem he dosen't clean" he has time and energy for sex but not for cleaning how can I turn my 80% good man into a full 100? please help!...
A. 22 March 2010: Most men dont clean, and if that is his only flaw then you should count yourself very very lucky! Look at all of the relationship problems on this site - and if your only problem is that he does not clean well you have nothing to complain about!
... (read in full...)
Which of these texts seems more natural and effective? I want to set up a first date but I'm not sure how to go about doing this
Q. Hello, So 5 days before spring break (about 15 days ago) I met this girl in my ballroom dancing class. We talked for about 15 minutes while the teacher got there, and I ended up getting her phone number. I just got back from home, and was...
A. 22 March 2010: Go with the second one, the first is a little too direct and seen as you have never been out with her before it makes it sound like going to "coffeebean" is something you two do frequently together.
Go with the second one, hope that she replies ... (read in full...)
Stag Night Dilemma!
Q. Hi Guys, Just wanted some advice really. My boyfriend went on a stag do last night and rang me after to say that during the night he waited outside the strip club with the Bride's brother who is a Christian and didn't want to go in He wasnt s...
A. 21 March 2010: It is just your opinion that it is wrong for these guys to get the private dances -I know if my boyfriend had a lap dance I couldnt really care less, it is just a daft thing that guys do on stag nights when they have had a few to drink and the girl ... (read in full...)
University is my chance to get away, but will I be able to?
Q. *Op's own title* I'm going to uni later this year because I want to start again where no-one knows me. I hate preconceptions and being judged, and it's hard to grow in confidence or re-invent yourself when people already think they know who you are,...
A. 21 March 2010: Stop worrying so much! University's have thousands of students, and the chances of running into someone you know are very slim! I went to the university of Manchester, where at least 3 or 4 other people from my school went also. In 3 years I did not ... (read in full...)
He had a girlfriend the entire 3 years we were together - so what else is he capable of?
Q. Ok I have had a shit time recently - I have been with my boyfriend or I should say ex-boyfriend now for just over 3 years. It was my first serious relationship as I am 19 now. I recently found out he has been stringing me along. He was a litte bit ...
A. 21 March 2010: There is no way of knowing how many other women he could have been with while you were together, and you are right to think that he is capable of all sorts if he could maintain 2 relationships at the same time. But you have split up now, so there is ... (read in full...)
Will I ever have issues with food?
Q. I have had three eating disorder in the last two years, and I wonder whether I will ever be able to be in a long relationship without the eating disorders interfering. Will it bother him that I have issues with food? ...
A. 18 March 2010: The eating disorders will indeed interfere unless you get treatment for them. If you enter into a relationship with someone then if they really like you I dont think it would be a problem that you have the eating disorder, but if you are not getting ... (read in full...)
How high are my chances of getting pregnant?
Q. I am 18 years old i have had an eating disorder for about 2 years and my period is scarce, mostly not there at all.... i have been more so bulimic then anorexic in the last 6 months or so and i actually got my period for the first time in a long ...
A. 18 March 2010: I'm not sure how long you have been taking contraception but if it is less than 2 weeks then there is always a chance of getting pregnant - yes your chance might be reduced by the lack of menstruation but you just dont know if your body has released ... (read in full...)
Is it more of a health factor or is there a limit on being slim?
Q. Is it possible to be too skinny? Could it be a turn off? With being thin I am really flexible. Also, even if I feel fat I do not talk about it all the time and let my husband look at me. I just understand, because everyone always says, “You can ...
A. 18 March 2010: Of course there is a possibility you can become too skinny - just look at anorexics. That is not attractive now is it? When you lose too much weight your body starts eating into you fat reserves first (which you need to keep you warm and to protect ... (read in full...)
Contraception and what would suit me best?
Q. Hi All, Ok, so being at Uni, life has moved pretty fast, and I've found myself falling for an amazing guy, we've been together for a few weeks. We've been sleeping together and I'm currently on the pill. We are both clear of STIs, so that's not a ...
A. 18 March 2010: Weight gain is not really linked to the pill - it has never been proven it just seems to be a common coincidence. I thought the exact same - I tried a load of different types of pill, went on the mini-pill for a while, then stopped taking the pill ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher how I feel even though he has just moved in with his girlfriend?
Q. I love my teacher so much. The other day I found out that he has moved in with his girlfriend I didn't think that this would affect me but it did .I can't stop thinking about him should I tell him how I feel?...
A. 16 March 2010: If you do tell him then he will never come near you again, I promise you that! A declaration of your love for him would really scare him, and if he is a good teacher then he will go straight to the head teacher of the school and tell him/her what ... (read in full...)
I have developed feelings for my 14 year old student, how do I forget about this and get over him?
Q. I am a teacher. First of all, I would like to state that I am 27 and have *never* had a crush on anyone younger than me! I also know that what I'm about to write makes me a pedophile, so I am asking you not to call me names; I deserve them all. Tha...
A. 16 March 2010: I think you criticise yourself too much - are you actually attracted to children, or is it just this one boy in particular? Because if it is just the one boy then no you are not a pedophile, you are just attracted to someone unsuitable for you.
... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher how I feel even though he has just moved in with his girlfriend?
Q. I love my teacher so much. The other day I found out that he has moved in with his girlfriend I didn't think that this would affect me but it did .I can't stop thinking about him should I tell him how I feel?...
A. 15 March 2010: No. This is just a simple crush and you will get over it in time. He doesnt love you, and will never share the same feeligngs for you, so there is no point in saying anything to him otherwise he will have to report you to the head of the school so ... (read in full...)
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