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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Could I be pregnant after a drunken fumble in a toilet?
Q. Could I be pregnant or am I being stupid I AM NOT ON THE PILL OF ANY FORM OF CONTRACEPTION I am normally a very sensible person but I was out on friday night and my best friend got me very very drunk, I was dancing with this really nice gu...
A. 4 May 2010: No you wont be pregnant from this - sperm cannot make their way to your vagina through clothing. The chances are if you felt "wet" down below that was all you, when you are sexually aroused your vagina lubricates itself hence why you feel "wet".
... (read in full...)
My husband may lose his life, should we try to have a baby?
Q. Hi, :) ok.. Uhm well you may know from my previous question that my boyfriend has 2 cancerous grade 2 brain tumors and im scared to death to lose him. Well... We both know he may die but we alao know we were made for each other. Yes im only 17 ...
A. 4 May 2010: To be honest I dont think it is a good idea to try for a baby - you are not even married and you really do not want to be left as a single mum aged 17/18. I dont think it is fair to bring a child into the world that may never know its father, and it ... (read in full...)
What do you think about age difference relationships?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm going to try and make this question as short as possible. I work with a lad [I'm a student with a part time job] and have started to develop feelings for him. We have been texting a lot recently, usually just before bed. In t...
A. 3 May 2010: Its no big deal - if it were a 19 year old guy with a 17 year old girl no one would care less! Yes it is a little unconventional to date a younger guy but if you like him then it doesnt really matter, as long as you like each other and enjoy each ... (read in full...)
Am I "Undateable" ?
Q. I'm 15 and a girl. Kind of small (5'1), blonde hair, blue eyes and i think i'm ok to talk to but i haven't had a properly dated a guy for 2 years and i'm starting to feel a bit lonely =/ I dont know weither its to do with my skin (i have a bit of ...
A. 3 May 2010: There is nothing wrong with you I promise. I was the exact same as you at 15, I had bad skin, thought I was a bit chubby and all my friends used to get all the attention from the boys. I thought I would never get a boyfriend and be alone forever! So ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy acts like this but already has a girlfriend?
Q. what does it mean when a guy: - looks to see what my reaction to something is before making his own? (ex. something funny happens, he looks to see if i laugh before he does) - i catch him starring at me, and smile at him, he smiles back and...
A. 2 May 2010: It means he is a great big jerk who likes to flirt with other women! Look regardless of what any of this behaviour means, he has a girlfriend therefore it cannot go any further so you are just wasting your time even liking him.
You dont want to ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to think! Please help me out
Q. Now I have no idea whats going on! I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me. I think this because, 1: He still eats at our lunch table but then he goes outside, that wouldn't bother me at all, but he asked another girl to go outsi...
A. 30 April 2010: If he is taking another girl to the formal dance rather than you then he is really not worth your time! He sounds like a complete jerk!
If I were you I would just beat him to it and end things with him now, he is not treating you very well so ... (read in full...)
He wants big wedding, I want small , what should I do?
Q. I have a problem, my boyfriend and I want to get married, problem is, he wants a huge wedding with everyone he's related to at it and all his friends (he's got loads). I was never really into the whole wedding day idea. I want to get married but ...
A. 29 April 2010: Compromise. You will have to learn to compromise a lot in your married life so you better start learning now! You need to come up with a solution where both of you give a little up, but also feel comfortable with the plan.
At the end of the day ... (read in full...)
I have a bad feeling about my boyfriend moving out on his own
Q. alrighty , my boyfriend moved away for work about 2 months ago , we've had our rough spots but so far everythings going good , the problem is when he got there and till right now hes been living with his uncle but now hes talking about moveing out ...
A. 29 April 2010: Well he has a new job and is clearly earning some money so he just wants to be independant - there is no harm in that! Living with family is not ideal after a certain age, and when you are earning your own money really you dont want to be restricted ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I love him?
Q. I am 13 years old 14 on thursday I think i love this man who has turned 17 so theres 3 years apart should I tell him i love him or is it too much age gap. We have the same intrests i am just too scared to ask. What should i do?...
A. 29 April 2010: I think until you are 16 yes it is too much of an age gap I'm afraid. He will be 18 soon I imagine so he is very nearly an adult, whereas you are only just a teenager. You can of course be friends but you could not really have a relationship because ... (read in full...)
I cant stop eating!
Q. hey im turned thirteen 2 weeks ago and i am 200 pounds..... i know this is really big and i really need to lose weight! i dont wanna go through my adolescent years fat, but i cant stop eating! my mom thinks not eating will help but then ill s...
A. 28 April 2010: I just recommend you speak to your parents about food so they can make sure there is no "bad" food in the house for you to eat when you get hungry, and ask them to only buy fruit, vegetables and other healthy snacks.
I'm not sure where this mon... (read in full...)
She seems far too focused on moving into our own flat, funded entirely by me!
Q. I am getting frustrated with my GF I have been toying with the idea of moving to rent a flat for a while, my gf also wants to move in with me but have little commitment in what she has to pay, this is going to be my home only kind of thing. wha...
A. 27 April 2010: Ok first things first - you dont have enough money to live alone if you only earn £12,200 per year! I used to earn £13,000 per year and live with my ex boyfriend where we contributed 50/50 to the house and I was so skint I could barely afford food! ... (read in full...)
I cant stop eating!
Q. hey im turned thirteen 2 weeks ago and i am 200 pounds..... i know this is really big and i really need to lose weight! i dont wanna go through my adolescent years fat, but i cant stop eating! my mom thinks not eating will help but then ill s...
A. 27 April 2010: First of all tell your mum that you are serious about losing weight and you need her help, and to do this she needs to stop buying fatty foods so they are not in the house to tempt you. Ask her to buy more fruit and vegetables so when you are hungry ... (read in full...)
I feel fatter every time I eat even a bite of food!
Q. is there something wrong with me? i feel like the fattest person in the world at 48 kg, i know that's not fat or over weight, but everytime i look in the mirror i see a horrible, ugly, disgusting fat creature. my mom says i have a regular body but i ...
A. 27 April 2010: No you are not crazy, this happens to many young men and women all over the world. The problem is that what you see in the mirror is not what everyone else sees when they look at you - in the mirror you think you look fat but everyone else sees a ... (read in full...)
I've not known him long and I don't think I can trust him, but I'm 7 weeks pregnant! What should I do?
Q. well, in a bit of a mess met this guy not known him long, he said he wanted our own place which we got and wanted a baby, which has now happened.. im now 7 weeks pregnant and he does not want to know, he has 2 children with his previous and has ...
A. 26 April 2010: You are not sure if you love him yet you are living with him and having a baby with him? Plus he has already cheated?
I'm sorry but you have gotten into quite a mess here and personally if I were you I would have the abortion - this is not the ... (read in full...)
How important is it that a man is fit and attractive?
Q. Ladies do you think its important for a man to be physically attractive in a relationship (marriage for an example)? I know there are other more important factors, but don't you think its a least important for the man to be physically fit a...
A. 26 April 2010: Well I think it is important to be attracted to the man you are in a relationship with i.e. you find his appearance appealing - but everyone's idea of what is and is not attractive differs, so for one girl it might be a huge, muscular type man and ... (read in full...)
What should I do when I am having sex without a condom on?
Q. i'm a virgin , and i have been wondering what to do when im having sex without a condom and im about to cum, do i cum inside her or tell her im about to cum or what? HELP!...
A. 25 April 2010: I'm going to echo the other answers you have received - DO NOT HAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM! Unless you want to be a dad and catch an STD then do not do it!!!
There is no reason to ever have sex without a condom unless:
1. You are trying for a... (read in full...)
Partner says he'll give me more sex if I dye my hair!!!
Q. My partner says if I dye my hair blonde, he will give me more sex but I don't want to dye my hair. He watches a fair amount of porn by the way, which I think interferes with our sex life already. But should I leave him or adapt?...
A. 23 April 2010: Gosh it seems like today is the day for all the girls to come out on this site who have the idiot partners! We have had 2 guys that are complaining their girlfriends are fat, and now we have another idiot to add to the list who wants you to dye your ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend threatening to dump me for being overweight!
Q. I am a 20 yr. Old female I been in a relationship of 3 years my boyfriend has a problem with my weight. I'm not too much overweight but I try to do everything I can I go to the gym I eat healthy and I do it all for myself and him but it seems to not ...
A. 23 April 2010: Dump him for being an idiot! Seriously, if he does not support you when you are clearly making a massive effort to try and change the way you look, and make yourself look nice for him, then he is not worth your time. You are doing everything you can ... (read in full...)
Ways to make my online dating add stand out?
Q. Hi, firstly the problem i have is i like a more mature women mentally that is, my idea of a night out is not to go to a club and get wasted (To me this is something i'd do with the lads, Not my gf, im not saying i wouldnt do it im just saying its ...
A. 23 April 2010: Well regarding children, marriage etc - you are way too young to mention that without freaking other girls out so dont say a thing! It is best to just leave that out, it is not important at your age. Unless you never want children and never want ... (read in full...)
Should I call off my wedding to a man who finds me unattractive?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we're engaged and getting married this summer but lately he's been acting weird towards me he complains about my weight he tells me that I'm not attractive anymore, the sex is awesome, he wants it all ...
A. 23 April 2010: You should not marry him unless you are 100% happy with this relationship - and by the sounds of things you are not totally happy. If he really loved you and cared about you he would not tell you to your face that you are unattractive, instead he ... (read in full...)
Do I need the morning after pill? Or am I protected?
Q. Hey all quick question involving my contraceptive pill, im a bit confused with the information given. I take the contraceptive pill yasmin, and i started taking my first pill on saturday after my seven week break. Yesterday i went out on the town ...
A. 22 April 2010: You are protected for any times you had sex prior to being sick, but you may want to use extra protection for the next 7 days if you do have sex again.
Try and think of it this way, you take your pill at 7am and you are protected until 7am the ... (read in full...)
Is this acceptable behaviour for a man in a relationship?
Q. Please tell me what is acceptable behaviour for a man in a committed relationship. You meet a bunch of drunk girls out, you talk, you have photos taken, you laugh and have a party. A girl is standing with her hand on your leg while she turns ...
A. 22 April 2010: Well let me describe a real scenario that happened to me once:
Whilst out on a date with my boyfriend at the time, a waitress walked over to me with a glass of wine and placed it on my table - I had not ordered this so I told her and she resp... (read in full...)
Why do guys always stare at me?
Q. Everywhere I go, guys always stare at me, or beep their car horns, or try and chat me up and wolf whistle at me. I can't even walk my dog or go get a pint of milk from the corner shop without getting oggled. I dress appropriately, for example...
A. 21 April 2010: I know how you feel - when this happens to me I always think I have something on my face or feel really paranoid that I look really stupid!
But funnily enough recently I found out I look like some random minor celebrity (Michelle Ryan from Bio... (read in full...)
Can your brother be your soulmate
Q. Me and my brother are so close and I'm starting to feel like he is my soulmate. Our parents were terrible and were often violent towards both of us and growing up we were close. Being the older one I tried to care for him and be a "parent" to him. I...
A. 21 April 2010: I'm sure it is possible for him to be your soulmate, but just not in the relationship sense of the word. You clearly have been through a lot together and this has created a very special bond between you and that is totally fine, as long as you dont ... (read in full...)
How can I tan without burning?
Q. Hey. I’m going on holiday aboard this summer and it’s gonna be very hot! I know it’s only April but I need some advice. I’m a bridesmaid at a wedding a few weeks after so I’m not allowed to burn and need to get some kind of tan! I’m fair skinned ...
A. 21 April 2010: Afraid not - fake tan wont help at all, it may only make you look orange or mask your sunburn! It doesnt matter what colour your skin is, UV rays still penetrate your skin and will change the pigment in your skin, hence equalling in a tan or ... (read in full...)
Do I go for "True happiness" or "This is alright"
Q. Right I'm going to skip the nonsense and get straight to the point. I've been with my partner for two years. He has problems due to an accident. He is on a hell of a lot of medications and shows no interest in sex. He is snappy and no matter what he ...
A. 21 April 2010: I would say if you are not happy in your current relationship and do not feel he is the right man for you then you should leave - you are not responsible for him and if he wants to ruin his life by taking drugs then let him do it, its his choice and ... (read in full...)
Period leakage! Is there anything other than tampons?
Q. I have my period for a few months now and i'm nearly 14. My first period was light and lasted for about 3 days, then I had a few more, and they were quite heavy and lasted for about 4-5 days. The thing that worries my is that when I have been...
A. 20 April 2010: Ok well there are the pads with wings, that way they never leak onto your pants. Other than pads I'm afraid your only option is tampons.
Now I remember aged 13 I hated tampons too, I think they are only something you can use properly and feel com... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to leave her because I'm her entire world. I don't want to be stuck like this either.
Q. Well, I am in a rut, and so I decided to post a question out here after reading around and seeing some very helpful answers. However, I've yet to see a case much like my own. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly five years now, and knew her for...
A. 20 April 2010: Basically you have said it yourself - you do not want to be stuck in this relationship for the rest of your life. Therefore you see no future for this relationship - it is already over in your head.
It sounds like you are both unhappy in this rel... (read in full...)
Who here keeps in contact with their exes and if so why?
Q. Who here keeps in contact with their exes and if so why? I personally don't and neither does my bf, but the situations are different. I simply drifted apart from my ex whilst he makes a point of not contacting her. He threw away al their picture...
A. 20 April 2010: I dont think it means anything that will have an impact on your relationship - it is clear that they ended badly and he doesnt want to be reminded of her, I imagine she may have hurt him quite badly hence he doesnt want to be reminded of that. But ... (read in full...)
How can I tan without burning?
Q. Hey. I’m going on holiday aboard this summer and it’s gonna be very hot! I know it’s only April but I need some advice. I’m a bridesmaid at a wedding a few weeks after so I’m not allowed to burn and need to get some kind of tan! I’m fair skinned ...
A. 20 April 2010: Ok the chances are you will burn if you are fair and have only been away once - but the key here is to only get a little pink/red at worst, rather than really burning and damaging your skin.
First of all - Suncream! Do not go any lower than fac... (read in full...)
My flat mates wont clean, ...the filth is affecting my health, ... is there a way I can get out of the lease?
Q. Ok, so this isn't a relationship question but I don't know where else to go to for advice. Any help greatly appreciated. I am currently a student living in the UK and share a house with 4 other students. At first things were good and we woul...
A. 20 April 2010: I think you would have difficulty in getting out of the contract, landlords are notorious in the UK for being so terrible, especially student landlords so you would have a massive fight on your hands.
I think first you need to contact your lan... (read in full...)
I text like there's no tomorrow, and my parents get really mad!
Q. So I've gone over my texting limit before, and my parents always get REALLY mad. I think last month I went over by 100 (not even) this time I went over by like 1,600. :( Is there a way to fix this issue?! I don't even wanna know how much it's gonna ...
A. 20 April 2010: Stop texting??? Perhaps use other methods of communication that dont involve your phone, like Skype, MSN messenger, Facebook, emails....you name it, there are a million different ways of talking to people that dont involve texting!
At the moment y... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend REALLY want to marry me?
Q. My boyfriend's family don't really like me but I want to get married to him. They would be totally against it. He says if I can get a million fans on my Facebook page he'll marry me anyway. So far I've only managed to get 137. Surely if he re...
A. 19 April 2010: You are absolutely right on this one - if he really loved you and wanted to marry you then he would propose, simple as that. By setting you this task of a million followers, he knows you are never ever going to acheive that so he knows he has ... (read in full...)
Had Sex While On Period, Condom Broke But I Take Birth Control.Should I Take Plan B?
Q. So... today my bf and I had sex while on my period, the condom broke and he "finished" inside me..unfortunately we didnt realize it broke until after the fact. I AM on the pill and I take it daily but Im wondering - should I still take the plan ...
A. 19 April 2010: No dont take the Plan B pill, there is really no need. Basically you should only use Plan B if you have had unprotected sex - while your condom broke you are still protected by the birth control. I cant find anything that says what taking a plan B ... (read in full...)
Teenage Pregnancy
Q. Its like a taboo subject isnt it. A lot of people judge teenages who fall pregnant, i know this all too well. I was at the tender age of 15 when i had my first daughter then caught on again at 17 and had my second daughter. The remarks you get the ...
A. 16 April 2010: Well that is great that there are some teenagers out there who are trying to improve their situations despite having kids so young - I have just never seen this myself! My only experience with teen pregnancies have all been the ones that end up in ... (read in full...)
I have been trying to get pregnant for 7 months and nothing has happened! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. hi i have been married for 7 months and im been trying to get pregnant. Im 21 years old and im just wondering is there something wrong with me? Should i be stressing out? I have tried everything but still no baby ...
A. 16 April 2010: Wait until you have been trying for a year and if you have still not had any success then you need to visit a doctor. The reason I say wait until it has been a year is because a doctor wont see you regarding fertility unless you have been trying to ... (read in full...)
Teenage Pregnancy
Q. Its like a taboo subject isnt it. A lot of people judge teenages who fall pregnant, i know this all too well. I was at the tender age of 15 when i had my first daughter then caught on again at 17 and had my second daughter. The remarks you get the ...
A. 16 April 2010: Well first of all I cant imagine how hard all this must have been for you so well done for getting to this point and raising 2 children!
However I must disagree with a lot of what you are saying, you are almost advocating teenage pregnanc... (read in full...)
My mum found out I have been smoking and now she is mad at me, what can I do?
Q. my mum just found out i was smoking, she found them in my bag she no longer trusts me, coz she asked me ages ago if i smoked and i said no i only said no because i didnt want to hurt her she is acting like its the end of the world i have 3 brot...
A. 16 April 2010: How about stop smoking?? Let me just get this out of the way - smoking is just about the most stupid thing you can do to your body, simple as that. There is no reason to smoke at all, there are no positives to smoking and only negatives. My work ... (read in full...)
We have not met yet so would it be unreasonable to ask him to remove other girls from his facebook?
Q. a guy i've been talking to thru internet and texting for a month says he loves me and wants to meet me so we r meeting in a few wks. i know he is who he sez he is cos met him thru a friend. on hif facebook. he has 500 friends. i'd say he knew bout ...
A. 15 April 2010: Everyone else is right - you are just another one of the 450 girls and my bet is he is trying to meet all of them too, telling them that he loves them etc. This guy is clearly a bit of a player who loves women, and wants to try and have as many on ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wont speak to me over a facebook message from I guy I don't even know.
Q. My boyfriend has fallen out with me cos last week (friday) on facebook a lad i had never talked to before he just sed it was a random add. he sent me a facebook chat message saying "you look F*****G amazing you Gorgeous babe" my boyfriend was stood ...
A. 15 April 2010: First things first, delete the weirdo on Facebook and block him so he cant message you again in the future. And learn a lesson from this - only accept friend requests from people you have met before, no more randoms!
All you can do is keep try... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be angry about her night out in Mexico?
Q. My wife is a bilingual ed teacher here in our home state. She took a recent job-related trip to Mexico to finish a certification she needs as a teacher in multiple languages. While there, she and her coworkers also had time to go out drinking and ...
A. 15 April 2010: Well you can be angry all you want but its not going to change the situation now is it! What you are upset about is that all this happened when she was so far away, hence you feel completely out of control in the situation. When your partner is in ... (read in full...)
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