A
female
age
41-50,
*odchild
writes:Well, I been dating a guy for about seven months. I notice that he had several woman friends. I have issue with trusting him. I went by his house and notice a car park in his driveway, next to his. I knocked on the door several times he didnt answer the door or his phone, for months he lied about the car. The second situation I caught his baby mama car in the driveway at four in the morning after he was acting real strange. The same month I find out Im pregnant. IM a college student who put my life on hold because of a previous pregnancy. He always seems to lie to me and I cant trust him. I dont think that I want to bring a baby in the world in such a unstable environment. Am I wrong for considering abortion?
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male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 You have to do what you think is right at the time. And I guess it's a question of what you're willing to live with. But it's a tough one to call. I think whatever decision you make, you will have regrets.
Whether you have the abortion or not, you will be left with an emotional scar.
I hope things turn out okay though.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): Well, I went today and had a consultation. I cried the whole time the doctor explain the procedure. I cried so hard that, I gave my own self a migrane. I have mixed feelings about this but I have been debating this subject for six weeks now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I don't think it matter whether I think it is right or wrong. What does matter is what YOU think.
No matter what you choose I strongly suggest that you seek counseling (call/visit Planned Parenthood for instance). Having an abortion is mentally HARD I know this because I have several friend who went though it and 20 years later they still carry it around.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
And make sure you are on birth control afterwards. Abortions should be used as birth control at any time.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I think it's wrong that you made a baby with a guy who's an obvious idiot. You knew he was cheating. Be serious, you KNEW he was. You KNEW he was a scumbag but you slept with him anyway god knows why.Now you're going to kill a baby because it's inconvenient somehow. I can only sigh at that.I say you put the baby up for adoption. There are TONS of couples who want a baby and can't have one.However, if you think you HAVE TO have an abortion at least be grateful you have the choice to do so. I won't berate you over it.BUT I will berate you over the choices you make. You need to stop sleeping with idiots. You need better birth control. You need to be a mother to your first child(ren.)Stop dating losers. Focus on your kids. Focus on your college and if by some miracle of god you STILL have time to date (which I doubt, if you actually do as I say) then date NICE guys. Figure out why you like losers and move on.It's not easy and people get lonely and horny. I get it. But you won't DIE if you don't have a partner in life. I did it for 15 years. Believe me, it's not the end of the world.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): What you are looking for is for us to tell you are not wrong for what you think is right. Prolife/Prochoice is a controversial topic and it honestly depends on the individual. If you feel you are doing what is best for your baby, then do so!
You have already made up your mind. Just keep in mind, there will be those who agree and those who disagree. They don't matter, what matters if you, your baby, and health.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Do what you have to do, but stop having unprotected sex with jerks! This guy could have given you something MUCH worse than a pregnancy. It's time to make better choices.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): The only thing you are wrong for is caring what we think. Do you want this baby? Do you feel comfortable with abortion? Everything else aside do YOU want to have a baby?
if you arent 100% sure abortion is right for you, there is always adoption. But ultimately the decision is yours. I wouldn't even include him in it because he wont take care of that baby if you have it. Why should he get to tell you to have a baby that you will raise alone? Thats really how you have to see this. Do what works for you and forget everybody else.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I would get rid of the Boyfriend. Your problems are more to do with hanging out with the wrong guy than with being pregnant. You are not the first woman he has done this to, who is to say you are even tho only one he has pregnant now. If you can't trust him, seperate yourself from him.
There are other options besides abortion for an unwanted pregnancy. I believe you said that this is not your first pregnancy. If you are worried about your ability to provide a nurturing environment for this child, then it is time to start to find someone who can.
FA
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A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 there is no right or wrong here, you have to do what you feel is right. abortion is a totally subjective thing, and people will always have strong views, however i dont think abortion is anymore cruel than bringing a child into an unstable and bad environment. trust yourself to make the right choice, good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): No, its not wrong. If you feel its an unstable environment and you are not ready for whatever reason (studying etc) then you are doing the right thing. Much better than bringing a child into the world and not caring for it properly or worse.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Right or wrong , you are the one who will have to bear the consequences and I hope that you will make the right choice and do not have regrets somewhere down the road.
Please think deeply about all those options before you decide to terminate it.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 April 2010):
 No I dont think you are wrong at all - if you feel an abortion is the right thing to do then it is fine. This is entirely your own decision and you should not let anyone else influence your decision - after all you are the one that has to live with your decision for the rest of your life so it must be the right choice for you.
If I were in the same situation then I would have the abortion too, you are still studying and need to focus on that, plus the father is not at all suitable by the sounds of things to be in the child's life, plus I imagine as a student you dont have the financial means to raise a child either. So in this situation if you choose to have an abortion I dont think anyone could criticise that decision.
I'm sure you will come across plenty of pro-life advocates on this site so be prepared for the old "abortion is murder" argument, but I am a believer in choice for women, and we should all have the right to choose what is best for us, and best for the unborn child. If you think that it is best to have the abortion then by all means go ahead. But try and do it sooner rather than leaving it later, as the longer you wait for an abortion the more traumatic it will be for you. Also you do need to tell the father that you are pregnant and what you are planning on doing, even if you are having the abortion. After all, this baby is half his so he does have the right to know and voice his opinions, even if he does not agree with what you are doing. It is your body and your choice whether you are having the child or not - but you should not lie to him and keep this from him.
I hope this helps and good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): I would also vote that you have an abortion. The sooner the better.
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