A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, all.I've got a few insecurity issues atm. I'm currently 21 and though I won't reveal my title, I'm an Earl in the south of England. I'm valued at over £6 billion and control my father's estate.I've always been what my parents and exes describe as 'handsome': i.e. I've got dark hair, dark eyes, strong jawline, sultry smile, six pack, and I'm also Italian, which is always a plus for the girls. Since I was legal, I've had as many girls as you can imagine, but I've never loved a girl. Until a month ago at University when I met this girl called Elizabeth. She's amazing, so sweet, so caring and motherly and attentive. She's from a private schoolk too, so it's not like we're worlds apart. We're almost inseperable now, we work together, we live in the same halls of residence, we have elevenses together, but I haven't told her I've fallen for her. Though we're friends, she still thinks of me as a roguish, arrogant young lord who's used to getting drink, getting girls and getting his way. Now that I've met her, my friends are freaking out and asking why I'm not coming to parties anymore.What else puts me at unease is that she's so innocent. She's a virgin, and for me, that boat sailed a long time ago. I'm just...enamoured by her purity and innocence and really want her to know that I love her.Any suggestions on how to do this? I'm clutching at straws here, chaps.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010): Ok, this is me again, the guy who wote the question.
First of all, I don't really appreciate you saying that I'm arrogant and that I'm a spoilt rich kid who spends his money on alcohol. I've been off alcohol since I was 13. I don't drink and I don't do drugs. That's just what she thinks. I have more sense than that. How can I run my father's estate when I'm off my face all the time?
I run three charities and yes, I do get involved with the running of my father's estate. I've build four housing complexes for the house staff in half a year and I don't sit on my arse and burn my money.
I think she likes me too because we were sitting together today and she said 'have you ever fallen in love?' When I replied that I had, she seemed a little put off and said in a dull voice 'well, that's great. I'm so happy. You didn't tell me.'
I felt awful and I knew that was my opening to say 'it's you, you're the one that I've fallen in love with' but I just didn't seem to...click.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 March 2010):
 All you can do is spend time with her and show her you do not behave that way anymore. Actions speak louder than words, so there is nothing you can say to her that will change your mind - you are just going to have to spend more time with her showing her the real you, and maybe try and do a few more productive things than go out partying and drinking.
Why not use some of your time and fortune to get involved with a charity, or volunteer for something you feel passionate about? That is a great way to "give something back" if you like, and it will look great to Elizabeth who will see you as being kind, caring and generous rather than some spoilt rich kid. While having money must be great, you have to realise that with such a huge amount of wealth comes responsibility, and for you to think about others and how you can use your money to help others is a great thing.
Also - get involved with the running of your father's estate. Put your time and energy into running the estate (which must be a huge task to undetake) - this shows ambition, dedication, drive and business knowledge. Again this will be much more impressive to Elizabeth rather than you spending all of your time drinking.
Study harder - put in more effort into your degree and work towards a first - that would be really quite impressive!
Basically all you need to do is use your brain and put it to good use - do productive things with your time that benefit you and others, rather than killing your brain cells with alcohol! Once Elizabeth sees all the good things you do, rather than all the stupid, stereotypical "rich kid" activities, I'm sure her opinion will start to change. Just keep on spending lots of time with her, be yourself around her and enjoy her company. Maybe attend the odd party here and there but take her with you (and dont get drunk!) then she will see how you behave when you are in that situation, rather than her just hearing all the bad stories about you when you go out drinking.
Take her out and do the things she is interested in - showing her that you are not completely selfish and care about what she likes (even if it is something you really are no into) will make a very good impression on her - girls love it when a man goes out of their way for her especially when it is something the man does not particularly enjoy or have much interest in.
Give it a bit of time and keep doing what you are doing, I'm sure she will soon see the real side to you and she will forget about these negative misconceptions about you. After all, she is choosing to spend her time with you so she clearly likes you, I think you should just be brave and ask her out properly. If she really thought so badly of you she would not give you the time of day, but if you are "inseperable" then she must like you too.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010): ok, for one thing...stop being arrogant. When it comes to advice on a girl, no one needs to know how much money you have or how buff you are. Seriously, save it for her. If you want to show her how much you love her, she has to know she comes before you. And it sounds like that may be a problem. Two, it sounds like you already know what the problems are...so just fix them already. Stop being so caught up into yourself and become the man she deserves. Or else, in all honesty...you're not good enough for her. Sorry to be so blunt..but it's honesty & I'm a big fan of it.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (22 March 2010):
6 billion huh? Well aren't you something. Sounds like you view yourself as gods gift to women. Doubt you would ever be able to truely love this girl and I doubt she would ever truely love you for who you are and not what you have. I would stick with your ways that you are used to. Let a man who know how to treat a girl good and not hold an upper hand.
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