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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I love him but he lives 500 miles away...
Q. Well basically I'm 13 and I dont know what to do.... I met this guy online and he's really sweet and I really love him and he loves me but he lives 500 miles away in Essex and I want to be with him so badly but I can't because he lives that far away ...
A. 22 September 2010: I know it is hard to talk to parents at your age because you think they wont understand anything, but I'm sure if you just are honest with them, tell them that you have a boyfriend but he lives 500 miles away etc. then I'm sure they will try and be ... (read in full...)
I love him but he lives 500 miles away...
Q. Well basically I'm 13 and I dont know what to do.... I met this guy online and he's really sweet and I really love him and he loves me but he lives 500 miles away in Essex and I want to be with him so badly but I can't because he lives that far away ...
A. 21 September 2010: Obviously you cannot run away - you are far too young to live by yourself and it would only make the situation worse so you need to forget that idea.
As for the guy you have met online:
1. How old is he?
2. Are you 100% certain you can trust hi... (read in full...)
We want to have a baby but my husband drinks way too much!
Q. My Husband and I want to have a baby. here is the Problume. He is 52 I am 32, he Drinks WAYYYYY too much, not drunk every night, but he drinks a bottle of wine a night. He had a heart attack and noooo that didn't stop him from Drinking or ...
A. 21 September 2010: Well this is just my opinion but maybe this is something you should think about? After all, when you have a child you have to think about giving the child the best chance in life, and the best life possible.
Your husband is 52. That means wh... (read in full...)
Is it my boyfriends business my credit card debt?
Q. So confused...... I have been with my boyfriend for the last couple of years. His finances are in order, mine are not. I used to be debt free but ended up going back to school and acquired my credit card debt while I was in school ( not from ...
A. 21 September 2010: You really dont need to disclose your full debt if you are not comfortable with it - it is your debt and as you have said, you want to deal with it in your own way.
I really suggest you read through my advice and try and talk to him in a similar ... (read in full...)
Is it my boyfriends business my credit card debt?
Q. So confused...... I have been with my boyfriend for the last couple of years. His finances are in order, mine are not. I used to be debt free but ended up going back to school and acquired my credit card debt while I was in school ( not from ...
A. 20 September 2010: Well this is an issue that tends to be personal preference - some people are happy to talk about finances with their partners, and other people are not.
Me personally - I do not talk to my boyfriend about my debt or finances unless I want to,... (read in full...)
She's too young..do I lose contact with her or tell her my feelings?
Q. Firstly let me say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. I'm 22 years old, and, though it kills me to admit it, I'm finding myself falling in love with a girl of 14. I've known the girl in question since she was 9, when I met her f...
A. 20 September 2010: I think you need to ease off contact with her - dont cut contact all together but do ease off a good bit and stop the 20-30 texts per night. You can still be friends with her, but in order to stop these feelings you have for her you need to back ... (read in full...)
Who do I pick? The 13 year old? Or the 16 year old?
Q. Hi, I'm 14 and there are 2 different girls that I like and have questions about. There is a 16 year old she has a car and she wants to have sex with me. Should I? But there is a 13 year old almost 14 and I really like her and she really likes me. We ...
A. 10 September 2010: Why is it all about sex? It seems to me that you are just a horny 14 year old boy and dont care about either of these girls, you would happily use both of them if they would have sex with you. Stop thinking with your dick and realise that these are ... (read in full...)
Should I shave my chest hair?
Q. Hey ladies, and gentlemen if you can provide good info, should I shave my body hair? Is that something that women like or not? I know I'm over generalizing here but I would like some insight onto this. I'm not insanely hairy, but I have the standard ...
A. 10 September 2010: Me personally, we I have never really been bothered by a bit of chest hair, it is quite cute. As long as we are not talking about your whole torso and back being covered in hair then I would leave it alone!
The idea of running my hands over a m... (read in full...)
My ex deleted me off his Facebook and it's upset me...
Q. Hi this is gonna sound so silly but im really upset cos ive just seen that my ex has deleted me off facebook for no reason! He split up with me 2 years ago, we never really got on after this but 3 months ago i seen him out we ended up talking and ...
A. 9 September 2010: Look - he simply doesnt have feelings for you and probably went through his facebook looking at all the people he doesnt talk to anymore or need in his life anymore, and then deleted all the people he is no longer really in touch with. It is nothing ... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can be substituted for fruit?
Q. Hi, I'm a 19 year old female and unfortunately a bit of a picky eater. I eat vegetables but hate fruit. I'm terrified of cancers and what state my body will be in when I'm older and starting a family etc. I'm taking centrum vitamin supplements and ...
A. 9 September 2010: You can get cancer just by breathing - poullted air can cause cancer according to scientists so really, dont worry so much! In reality not eating fruit but still eating vegetables means you will be fine - you are still getting enough vitamins and ... (read in full...)
Should I ask a doctor about how my breasts are developing?
Q. Well I am 16 years old and my breasts have been developing weird since I first started developing. One is 2 sizes smaller then the other and they are saggy/flat and nasty looking im some what thin im 5'6 and 130 one of my boobs are a B32 and the ...
A. 3 September 2010: Yes you should go to a doctor. If the asymetry is very noticeable then normally they will offer you corrective surgery where they will put an implant into the smaller breat so they look even.
As other aunts have said, it is normal to have one... (read in full...)
Fiance doesn't understand that I want to live a health life!
Q. So my fiance don't care much about health, diet, eating habits, etc while i do and am trying and would love to eat and be as healthy as i can be not just for myself but for my future family and my career. I currently hold a bachelor's in Alternative ...
A. 3 September 2010: I think you need to compromise. The raw food diet is just over the top and far too extreme to be a lifestyle you stick with forever, and if I was your partner I would not be at all happy with that! A diet is never going to appeal to your partner, ... (read in full...)
About wedding dresses - what is the difference?
Q. What is the difference between V-neck/mermaid and round neck/trumpet wedding dresses ? ...
A. 2 September 2010: Well a V-neck dress refers to the neckline - the shape is in a V. They are often fairly low cut and reveal a bit more clevage, and are good for women with larger breasts as the neckline flatters the shape.
A mermaid dress normally refers to the s... (read in full...)
How can you tell the difference between a bisexual or a gay man?
Q. How can you tell the difference between a bisexual or a gay man???? Gay men love to flirt, but when does flirting become more??? Please answer...especially if you are gay or bi...
A. 1 September 2010: Quite an obvious answer to this one - If the man is bisexual and attracted to you then he would sleep with you/have a relationship with you. If a man is gay, then he is in no way interested in women! So thats your difference right there!
Often... (read in full...)
Want to be on time for our flight
Q. My girlfriend and I have a 2 year old son and we do not live together. We are leaving for vacation in 2 days and I mentioned to her that I would like to leave for the airport at 2:30 so that we are not rushing, and that I will wait until 2:45 and ...
A. 1 September 2010: I think you are right in this situation but you have gone about it the wrong way. You have just been a bit harsh and have not explained yourself, instead you have just said "I am going on holiday with or without you so you better get your act ... (read in full...)
I need his financial help but we just broke up!
Q. My boyfriend just broke up with me. Before this, he promised to help me with part of my rent while i add the rest because of situation. Now we are broken up, I don't know if it's wise to still collect part of the money from him or don't. Would that ...
A. 1 September 2010: Well if it were me in this situation I would not take the money. You have broken up, you are not his responsibility and he should not have to bail you out if you cannot get your rent together. It is not his problem any more that you cant afford your ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend just want me to be pudgy? Why doesn't he support my weight loss and work?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been with my fiancee for 3 years. Since we've been together I lost 40lbs. I was on a mission to lose weight even before I met him so I lost a total of 123lbs. In fact, when we met I was jogging with dumbbells. In any case, he...
A. 1 September 2010: I dont think your partner wants you to be overweight - he met you while you were out exercising so he knew right from the start you were into your fitness and wanted to lose weight. So I dont think this is the problem.
What I think might be the i... (read in full...)
How do I proceed with this new relationship?
Q. I am a 28 year old guy whose life has been like a soap opera. I was trying to get back together with a woman who dumped me when I started getting close with someone else. This other woman (age 24) told me if I was smarter, I would forget the ex ...
A. 25 August 2010: Well I guess you first need to decide if you are over your ex? Can you truly say you dont have feelings for her anymore, and if she knocked on your door tomorrow saying she wants you back you would say no without any hesitation? Or are there some ... (read in full...)
He's still in love with his ex. What can I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were doing great.. we had been together 4 months and I couldn't have been happier. Then he dropped abit of a bombshell, he could never really feel anything for me because he was still in love with his ex gf... we went through a ...
A. 25 August 2010: There is not a lot we can do on here to help you I am afraid, nor is there anything you can do to make the situation better.
He loves his ex, not you. Simple as that. You cannot be in a relationship with a guy who loves another girl instead ... (read in full...)
Am I weird at 22 to not want to go to nightclubs every night?
Q. Am I a weirdo/loser if I don't like going to nightclubs every week? I'm 22, going into my final year at uni. I went out last night for someones birthday and my friend had to go back because he was ill so i was the only guy left. I heard what mus...
A. 24 August 2010: Not at all! I am 23 (albeit female but not far off your age!) and I hate nightclubs, I see no point in them and never enjoy it when I go anymore. I used to love clubbing when I was 17/18, it symbolised freedom I think from my parents and being able ... (read in full...)
16 and wanting to be pregnant need advice!
Q. alright, so im 16 years old, alot of people around me are all having babies or just getting pregnant,plus the fact i looooove babies,i also have a really horrible family life, and sometimes just need to know someone cares about me i know i have all ...
A. 24 August 2010: I dont really know what your question is? But any way here is what you need to think about before having a baby:
1. Are you in a stable, long term relationship where the chances are you will get married in the near future?
2. Do you own or re... (read in full...)
What is worse: Cheating because you find someone attractive or cheating because you are in love with the other person?
Q. would you think it was worse if someone cheated on you just because they thought someone was good looking and there were no feelings involved, or if they were in love with someone else they knew well (a good friend) and got drunk and and cheated on ...
A. 24 August 2010: Basically it hurts either way. But in my opinion if there are feelings or emotions involved it is much worse. Anyone can get a bit drunk and have a kiss with someone else, or end up in bed with them. Yes that means you have appalling self control ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to sow your wild oats?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles..please 'tel' me what is to sow a wild oats.thanx...
A. 24 August 2010: Generally the term is used when applied to men, and it means for them to "spread their seed" i.e. "seed/oats" being their sperm. Basically it is just a saying for when people have multiple sexual partners before settling down, so they can "sow wild ... (read in full...)
If I swim will it get all the left over sperm out of me?
Q. Hi. I'm just very curious. I just had sex with my bf few weeks ago.A day after having sex, i went swimming for hours.Can this actually helps to wash away those sperm left inside me? ...
A. 23 August 2010: NO. Only condoms prevent there being any sperm inside of you. Nothing can "wash" sperm out - if your boyfriend ejaculates inside you then the sperm will swim onwards towards your womb and fallopian tubes, they will be too deep inside you for water ... (read in full...)
Should I lose weight for my boyfriend?
Q. I am totally in love with my boyfriend, and i know he loves me. Never would i doubt that but... I dont know if im pretty enough for him. I'm worried about my weight. I am 5'3" and weigh 106lbs. I'm not even what some people would consider chubby. ...
A. 23 August 2010: Look - 106 lbs is very very small and the lower end of the scale in terms of your "healthy weight". If you lose weight you would put your health at risk so please dont lose any weight.
I'm sure your boyfriend does not think you are chubby -... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is only happy when I eat but it makes me sad when I have to eat!
Q. I am 14 and have trouble eating! I think i am pudgy! my boyfriend tells me all the time that he loves how i look, and that im not pudgy, and anytime i see like family now, they always tell me that i look like i've gotten skinnier, and my sister is ...
A. 23 August 2010: I really hope you listen carefully to this: You have an eating disorder and you need to go to the doctor ASAP. This will not get better on its own, you have a real illness and this can only be cured with medical help.
It appears you have anorexia... (read in full...)
Clueless when it comes to the physical side of relationships! Help!
Q. I'm 18 and fairly clueless when it comes to the physical side of a relationship but I cum simply by kissing my boyfriend. Is this normal? After a full on session the crotch of my pants is always damp and it always makes me paranoid because I don't ...
A. 20 August 2010: That is not "cum" - that is just the natural lubrication of the vagina when you are aroused. So basically whenever you get turned on, you get "wet" down there. It is not "cum" - it is just a lubricant which enables the penis to enter the vagina ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 6 years breaks up with me almost every week!
Q. I have been with my bf almost 6years now and he breaks up with me every week. We always get back together cos i love him. When ever he doesnt like when i do something he leaves me. I dont know what to do this time? I love him as he is my first ...
A. 20 August 2010: Of course you find it hard to imagine your life without him - he has been there for the last 6 years of your life, from when you were 12-15 (depending on how old you are now). Not many of us have vivid memories before the age of 12, so of course all ... (read in full...)
Could he like me, even though he has a girlfriend?
Q. Okay, so I'm sooo confused, I don't know if this guy is interested in me or not. He has a girlfriend, but when I'm around him he says to his friends he has relationship problems. He's mentioned the words future girlfriend while talking to me. He ...
A. 20 August 2010: There is a chance he might like you, there is a chance he might just be a flirt. Who knows! We cant tell you I'm afraid, we have never met the guy or seen how he behaves around his girlfriend.
But what we can tell you is this - it does not matt... (read in full...)
My sister is treating me like her maid!
Q. Im staying with my sister and her daughter(17), im nt working loking for a job,but my sister shes working, im staying in her house, she buy me everything for me, but she want me to cook every day, cline her house,gve her food,and after she finish ...
A. 20 August 2010: I'm afraid this probably is not what you want to hear but I agree with your sister! You are unemployed therefore I presume you are not contributing financially to your own keep? Therefore you will be staying in your sisters house, for free, doing ... (read in full...)
Trying for a baby at 15. Could I be pregnant from these symptoms?
Q. i am 15 and i have been with my 16year old boyfriend for a year and 1month and we are trying for a baby, and i am nearly 2weeks late for my period and i have done 3 test and yet all neg and i am really scerd, i dont want to tell my mum and friends ...
A. 18 August 2010: I'm sorry but I dont think you are going to get the advice you want from this site, if you are seeking medical advice then go to your doctor.
I personally am not going to give advice to a teenager who is illegally having sex (seen as you are unde... (read in full...)
Internet teen chat sites...???
Q. okay... i told him i like him but he didn't feel the same way. the thing is, i more than just like him and i showed him it didnt bother me that much like i've showed everyone else. i'm breaking up inside, it hurts so much. i go out with my friends ...
A. 17 August 2010: To be honest I dont think chat sites are safe for teenagers, regardless of what site it is and what claims they make about security. It is quite easy for a older man (say in his 40's) to join one of these teen sites, create a profile with a fake age ... (read in full...)
When will it be fully grown?
Q. I'm just curious but when age in puberty is your penis fully grown?...
A. 17 August 2010: It varies for everyone - generally they say you boys dont stop developing until you are about 18-21. But for each person it is different so we cannot give you one definitive answer I'm afraid!
I hope this helps and good luck!... (read in full...)
Is a 6 year age difference too much to date someone?
Q. if theres a 6 year differance in between you and someone else would it be ok if you date them? this is just a random thought im not actually saying i wana date a 10year old, im just saying is a 6 year age differance too mutch? i have a friend and ...
A. 17 August 2010: Age doesnt really matter once you get into your 20's, and 25 year old going out with a 31 year old is nothing really. I have dated guys who have been 9 years older than me and the age difference was never a problem!
But when you or the girl inv... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he'll leave me if I get pregnant
Q. My younger sister is pregnant and lately I've been getting broody. I'm 21 and not ready for kids yet but in the next 10 years I would like to have a kid. I asked my boyfriend of 3 years, rhetorically speaking, what would we do if I got pregnant. ...
A. 16 August 2010: Ok well the depression and the issue with your boyfriend are 2 separate things - I am almost certain that you do not feel depressed all because your boyfriend made one comment to you. Feeling suicidal, like you want to cry all the time, stress and ... (read in full...)
I want kids and had a dream where I can't have them!
Q. hello guys i had a strange dream last night which it was abut me, my older sister, my boyfriend, and other people, been chased by a gang of men and then i was separated from my my sister, and my boyfriend so the gang caught me and shot me on my ...
A. 16 August 2010: Basically a dream is just a dream - it does not "mean" anything in real life. It is believed that we dream because the brain cannot process all the information it receives in one day, therefore when you shut your eyes and close your mind off from ... (read in full...)
Is 20 too young to have a baby?
Q. im thinking about having a baby at twenty...too early in life?...
A. 16 August 2010: I guess it depends on your situation:
1. Are you in a stable, long term relationship where the chances are you will get married in the near future?
2. Do you own or rent a house big enough to have a child?
3. Do you have a good career with futu... (read in full...)
Need advice on enhancing my bustline.
Q. I'm fifteen years old, and I am still in my 34 A's in bra size. This may not be a major problem, or something to worry about, but I just don't want my breasts to be this small, especially not at my age. Maybe I'm going through the road when everyone ...
A. 16 August 2010: Sexlessintheuk and maverick494 have it completely right - you really dont need to be worried about this!
Now I am coming from the big boobs camp - I had 32 DD boobs at about 14, and guess what? I hated them! And I now have 34 E boobs aged 23 and g... (read in full...)
How long do couples usually date before moving in together?
Q. How long do couples usually date before moving in together? I was dating this guy and we were in a long distance relationship. We had only met about twice in person and he was saying to me that I could move in with him and he would pay my bills for ...
A. 11 August 2010: Dont worry yourself here - you are in the right and he is the unusual party. You said he has lived with a few women in the past, and clearly none have worked out. So what does that tell you? That moving in with someone too fast is a bad idea!
... (read in full...)
Do people truely ever get over their first love?
Q. So I'm just wondering about whether people have really gotten over their "first loves." I am 19 now and in university and am generally quite happy. However, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, nearly a year ago and even though I have ma...
A. 11 August 2010: In my opinion I dont actually think it matters if they are a "first love" or a fourteenth love, if you are still not over them then you are going to hurt for quite some time.
Let me tell you my story (in brief). My first love was when I was 15, ... (read in full...)
A good way to let my parents know I'm pregnant?
Q. where to start well im 17 years old i go to college studying business and have been with my boyfriend nearly 6 months... anyway last week i found i am 3 and half months pregnant.. i have spoke about it to my boyfriend and his family and i have ...
A. 9 August 2010: Well there is not a lot you can do apart from prepare yourself for their reaction - you have to tell them one way or another so it is best just to get on with it. They cant force you to have an abortion so just be honest with them and tell them you ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my gay friend that I'm not into him?
Q. Alright well im only borrowing my lil sisters account for this one thing. there is a gay guy at my school. were friends and all but i think he really wants to be more because of the way his eyes get when he looks at me. i dont want to hurt him but i ...
A. 9 August 2010: I really dont understand this - your friend is gay! And to think a guy is into you because of his eyes is a bit strange, you cannot go around thinking every guy that looks at you a bit differently wants a relationship with you surely?
If he's gay... (read in full...)
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