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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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What can I do to help Harry?
Q. hi it's not really a love question but i hope you can help anyway. My friend *harry is being framed by this girl i used to be friends with *ellie. according to ellie, harry asked her for a topless photo of her over msn. she's told the police a...
A. 2 December 2009: Well to be honest the police wouldnt be taking this seriously if they didnt find anything on his computer. So if she never sent a picture then technically he wouldnt have anything incriminating on his computer? So judging by the fact that the police ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help Harry?
Q. hi it's not really a love question but i hope you can help anyway. My friend *harry is being framed by this girl i used to be friends with *ellie. according to ellie, harry asked her for a topless photo of her over msn. she's told the police a...
A. 2 December 2009: Well unfortunately there is not a lot you can do to help him I'm afraid, just be a good friend to him, stand by him and support him throughout all of this.
The problem is that because she is under 16 (the legal age of consent) then even if she w... (read in full...)
I need your input guys. Is she lying to me?
Q. My wife and I seperated as of a week ago, over her lying about her talking to her ex and meeting him at a park, this is not the first time I caught her. During our seperation we talked about seeing a counsellor and working through our problems, well ...
A. 2 December 2009: It sounds like she is drip-feeding you elements of the story, maybe in a few months time you will actually get the full truthful version. I cant really say if she cheated on you, fooled around with him, or just slept next to him - there is no real ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help Harry?
Q. hi it's not really a love question but i hope you can help anyway. My friend *harry is being framed by this girl i used to be friends with *ellie. according to ellie, harry asked her for a topless photo of her over msn. she's told the police a...
A. 2 December 2009: Well first of all we need some more detail here before we can help:
1. Have the police got any evidence i.e. have they taken Harry's computer and found the topless picture on his computer?
2. What are the police charging him with?
3. How old... (read in full...)
I am on the pill, but have questions about it
Q. What is the likelyhood of the pill stopping your period? I'm on Cerazette, which is a 28 day pill and I'm just at the end of my 3rd month (i've been on 2 different pills before this though). Ever since I first started taking the pill back in April, ...
A. 1 December 2009: I think it is possible for the 28 day pill to stop your periods and if you have taken a few pregnancy tests then I think you can be pretty sure you are not pregnant.
But to put your mind at ease I think it will be best to see a different doctor a... (read in full...)
14 and want a baby...
Q. Im 14 and i really want a baby. i know this sounds stupid at my age but its all i think about. i havent had a good education at school so far but i think if i have a baby it will be great. just somebody to love to be there for to give it a cuddle ...
A. 30 November 2009: This question is asked a lot on this site, by many girls aged between 13 and 18. At least you say you want to be talked out of it - most of them come on here, ask for advice and then ignore it anyway because they claim they are "so mature for ... (read in full...)
Could someone help me on a couple sex questions?
Q. i would like to know the chances of getting pregnant if the male has had a std for more then 2 months. i dont know all the details because i am doing this for my friend. but i would also like to know how do you know if you are allergic to a condom?...
A. 30 November 2009: STD's in a male very rarely affect their fertility - it is generally only STD's in a female (like Chlamydia) will affect fertility, but even then you need to have had that STD for quite some time before it really affects you.
So I am guessing... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but wants me
Q. So I've liked this guy for a while but he's had a girlfriend as long as I've known him. I noticed he's been flirting with me somewhat since we first met but I assumed it was just his personality. Recently though, he's been asking me to kiss him and ...
A. 30 November 2009: To put it simply - if this guy was interested in you for more than just sex he would have left his girlfriend and would be trying to date you - not just pestering you for sex!
All this guy wants is a bit of fun on the side, I bet he's got a bi... (read in full...)
I'm ready to end relationship and pregnancy..help!
Q. I'm so hurt I think its time to end my relationship and not continue my pregnancy. Yesterday was my birthday my co-workers bought me flowers and took me to lunch. My boyfriend did nothing for me. When I got to his house from work he had already ...
A. 27 November 2009: Ok well I know this will sound a little odd but bear with me: you need to treat your relationship and your unborn child as two seperate things and 2 very different issues. You cannot terminate the child just because you are angry at your partner and ... (read in full...)
He's got a girlfriend but wants to sleep with me!
Q. hey im 17 and there this guy on my college course that i thought like me but it turns out he got a girlfriend, but he keeps asking if i want to sleep with him, i mean i wanted too.. but now i know he got a girlfriend i dont know what to do pls ...
A. 26 November 2009: Well he just wants to use you for sex - nothing more! So definitely dont sleep with him otherwise you will end up regretting it.
Find yourself a nice guy who wouldnt cheat on a girl and someone who likes you for who you are, not just for sex.
... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex... now I'm worried I may be pregnant!
Q. hi im 17 and have a boyfriend i have been having unprotected sex with. thing is i wasnt meant to be due on my period until the 6th december but i come on today which is a week and a half early, this keeps happening, its happend about 3 times now, i ...
A. 26 November 2009: First things first as the anonymous male said, if you are having unprotected sex then you are trying to get pregnant. If you dont want a baby you use contraception - simple as that. So if I were you I would be more surprised that you are still ... (read in full...)
To give the ring back or not?
Q. Who keeps the engagement ring? Before you give me a standard answer, please consider the facts. I'm in CA, I accepted the proposal and spent allot of my own money (still in debt) for the wedding that didn't happen. 4 months before the wedding he ...
A. 26 November 2009: Technically if he is going down this route then you could just say to him "well I want all the presents I gave you for Christmas and birthdays back". At the end of the day a gift is a gift and you dont go asking for them back once you have broken ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt his feelings! So how do I turn down this guy's unwanted attentions?
Q. I have recently started talking to a guy via work email. He works in a different part of the country and we started talking by accident after a case of mistaken identity. On the first day he made an inappropriate comment, but I rolled with it and ...
A. 25 November 2009: Title has been changed for you poster, sorry for the mistake on behalf of the mods (we are all human after all)... (read in full...)
Is it possible for someone to have accessed porn because my router has no password? Or is my boyfriend lying to me?
Q. Hi there, I am looking for a little bit of advise. I have a very strong view on porn n I total hate it. Personal reasons of course. Do not want to offend anyone who enjoys it. Anyway, my boyfriend of 4 years knows my view on this but I went for a...
A. 24 November 2009: Well my dear anonymous reader - why post as "anonymous" if your advice is so legitimate? P.S Anonymous people on the internet are NOT a reliable source of info!
I was not trying to claim in any way that Cosmo is a reliable academic article ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married man who is in an unhappy marriage! What should I do?
Q. Ok so there's this guy. I've known him for about ten years, infact even longer than his wife. He's actually a family friend and all we have ever been is friends. However about 7 months ago after me, his wife and him went out for some drinks, we went ...
A. 24 November 2009: Ok to answer your next questions - yes what he is doing with you is just as bad, if not worse, than having a sexual affair. Sex can be put down as a physical act, with no feelings or emotions involved. Whereas him telling you that he loves you, ... (read in full...)
Is their relationship against the law?
Q. one of my best mates has just turned 15. about 7 months ago when she was 14 she was going out with a 17 year old, they where great together and she was madly in love with him. but he works at a primary school training children after school. ...
A. 24 November 2009: Well the simple facts are that if he wants to keep his job then no they cant be together until she is 16! The school he works for would never accept their relationship so he would lose his job and would be reported to the police for involvement with ... (read in full...)
Is their relationship against the law?
Q. one of my best mates has just turned 15. about 7 months ago when she was 14 she was going out with a 17 year old, they where great together and she was madly in love with him. but he works at a primary school training children after school. ...
A. 24 November 2009: Basically your 14 year old friend is still in the eyes of the law, a child. He, in the eyes of the law is not quite an adult (he would have to be 18) but he still would get into a lot of trouble if he had sex with her because she is under the age of ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for someone to have accessed porn because my router has no password? Or is my boyfriend lying to me?
Q. Hi there, I am looking for a little bit of advise. I have a very strong view on porn n I total hate it. Personal reasons of course. Do not want to offend anyone who enjoys it. Anyway, my boyfriend of 4 years knows my view on this but I went for a...
A. 24 November 2009: Simple reason for the lie - he knows your views on porn so he didnt want to upset you/cause an argument by admitting he watches it.
The majority of men on this planet watch porn. It is a fact of life and it cannot be changed. You dont like por... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married man who is in an unhappy marriage! What should I do?
Q. Ok so there's this guy. I've known him for about ten years, infact even longer than his wife. He's actually a family friend and all we have ever been is friends. However about 7 months ago after me, his wife and him went out for some drinks, we went ...
A. 24 November 2009: First of all a warning to you - this site is full of very angry people that have been cheated on in the past and they will project their anger onto you - in their eyes you are the one coming between the married couple, it is very black and white to ... (read in full...)
How often per week should a couple have sex?
Q. Ok since this has been a reoccuring theme on this site of late, I would like to settle once and for all, how often per week should a couple have sex. My theory is: 3 times combined with 3 times asking how her day was and back/foot rub. And one day...
A. 23 November 2009: This is a pointless question - because the answer is it varies for everyone! Some couples are very sexual and have sex every day of the week, but then again some couples dont have a particularly high sex drive and are happy with having sex a couple ... (read in full...)
Not attracted to obese boyfriend.
Q. I have been with the same guy for three years, we are both in our 40s. When I met him he had just lost 140 lbs through diet and exercise and was running marathons. A big part of my attraction to him was admiration for having lost all that weight and ...
A. 23 November 2009: If you have tried to encourage him to lose weight with no such luck then I think you need to lay it down on the line with him - you have to make him realise how serious this situation is!
It sounds like he has a food addiction and he will need hel... (read in full...)
I can't have sex because condoms turn me off!
Q. I Can't Have Sex Because Condoms Immediately Turn Me Off. What Do I Do? Cuz The Girl I Really Like Won't Go On The Pill. I've Tried To Have Sex But I Can't Because Of The Condom Issue So I'm A Virgin And I Just Want To Get It Over With. What Do I ...
A. 22 November 2009: If you dont want to use a condom and she wont go on the pill then you are both too immature and too irresponsible to have sex. End of story!
If you were mature enough and thought about this properly you would know that you need to use condoms ... (read in full...)
Has anyone lost weight while pregnant?
Q. hiya well im 19 weeks pregnant with my first baby and am really confused. im getting a nice round bump but other than that have lost nearly 2 stone since i became pregnant and am worried that it could hurt my baby if i carry on losing weight ...
A. 20 November 2009: Well regardless of whether you are pregnant or not, losing 2 stone at any time is not good unless you are seriously overweight! You need to go to your doctor ASAP and get yourself checked out!
How far along in your pregnancy are you? And have you... (read in full...)
Fifteen and I want a baby now! Mature advice needed.
Q. Please help. I'm quite mature, and I have support from my family and friends. I've always wanted a baby, since I have hit puberty, I think of what it would be like, and how hard it'd be but at the same time how wonderful it'd be. I know it costs a ...
A. 20 November 2009: This question is asked a lot on this site, by many girls aged between 13 and 18. And if you notice one thing they all say, it is this "I am really mature for my age" or "I am a mature 13/14/15 year old". Any teenager who will put that into their ... (read in full...)
We've always had a thing for each other but sex didnt quite go to plan, any ideas why?
Q. This is a long question. Please read and help me the best you can Im 16 years old and for a year and a half now Ive been in love with someone. We spoke about being together, but he'd often say he liked other people and mess me around. He said ...
A. 19 November 2009: Ok first of all getting the morning after pill "soon" wont cut it - the morning after pill is only effective within 72 hours of having unprotected sex and even then, the effectiveness of the pill decreases every hour you leave it. Within 24 hours of ... (read in full...)
I know nothing about dating! Has anyone got any advice?
Q. I am a 20 year old male who has never had a date because I've always been to shy to ask anyone. I am, now, perfectly confident in myself and can talk to girls much more easily. The problem is I don't really know absolutely anything about dating and ...
A. 18 November 2009: In answer to your first question, there are loads of places to go on a date, go wherever you like! But as a rule first dates should be somewhere where you can talk properly without having to shout over loud music, or being stuck inside a cinema ... (read in full...)
I have a few guy-related questions - who knew being single could be so complicated?
Q. I have a few guy-related problems just now - who knew being single could be so complicated! Firstly, I've been hearing a lot lately, through the grapevine, that a guy who works in my building likes me. He and I have barely said 2 words to each ...
A. 18 November 2009: Ok so in regards to the guy in your building - firstly, are you attracted to him and would you like to go on a date with him? That is the most important thing - if you dont fancy him and have no real desire to get to know him better then there is no ... (read in full...)
Any good tips for online dating?
Q. I turned 22 a couple of weeks ago. I've decided to try this online dating malarkey now. basically, how do i present myself in the best possible yet most honest light, and have a chance of finding someone? i always used to associate online ...
A. 18 November 2009: Well as much as I dont like admitting this too much, I met my boyfriend through an online dating site (match.com to be precise!). I was on it for 2 months before I met my current boyfriend and went on some dates with some right old idiots before I ... (read in full...)
How can I gently break the news to my mother-in-law that I am pregnant?
Q. Ok then. This is the first time i've used this site, so be nice! (And excuse the punctuation, my CTRL button is tempermental today) So I was wondering how to break the news that im pregnant to my mother-in-law. She is a wonderful woman, and has a...
A. 17 November 2009: I think you might be worrying a little too much here! Yes while she might think you should have waited - that is her opinion at the end of the day and she will know that. You are already pregnant - no matter what she thinks nothing is going to ... (read in full...)
Does he really love me if he needs time to think?
Q. I spilt up from my boyfriend of three and a half years almost 7 months ago. There has been a lot of hurt and pain caused, and a lot of things said and done and as a results we have found it really difficult to get back together. However, we still ...
A. 17 November 2009: Well before I even get onto the part about you and your ex, the first thing you need to do is leave this poor guy you are seeing! End things now before you hurt him further, it is not fair on him when you are still in love with someone else.
... (read in full...)
Does the number of x's at the end of a message mean anything?
Q. Hey, Id just like everyones opinion on this very controvertial topic! Now everyone says 'dont be silly and count the number of x's; nobody uses that as a way to say if they like someone.' But they do. Atleast everyone did a lot when we were younger,...
A. 17 November 2009: I think the answer to this question differs depending on whether you are male or female. For a female we purposely mean different things by the number of x's at the end of a message. I know I personally will put 3 on all messages, sometimes more ... (read in full...)
Female Ejaculation Problems, Help!!!
Q. So I've been attempting to masturbate for a while now to see if I can have an orgasm since I haven't experienced one with a partner. I watched a video explaining tips on how to ejaculate, so I start masturbating and I reach that point where I'm ...
A. 17 November 2009: Well let me just say this as a woman - I have never experienced a female ejaculation nor would I want to! Yes I can orgasm, whether that is through clitoral stimulation or through penetration, but I have never "ejaculated" so to speak. You can ... (read in full...)
What are "bang bang" shoes?
Q. What are "bang bang" shoes as in that n-dubz song where she says "you left me standing in my bang-bang shoes" And where can I get some? lol x...
A. 16 November 2009: I doubt many people on this site would have any idea, N-Dubz and other such teen bands seem to have their own language that means nothing to normal people who tend to use English rather than street slang when speaking.
As a fashion graduate... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that I'm so hungry for comfort I'll jump into any relationship!
Q. Things have been very confusing for me lately, I just started University, one of my best friends abandoned our ten year friendship for a guy that she knew I liked (who I was also friends with) over the summer, my grandmother is very ill and despite ...
A. 16 November 2009: Well ask yourself this - are you just lonely and would be happy to meet any guy so you could have a boyfriend? Or cant you imagine being with anyone else and only want to be with him?
If you think it is the first option then no, getting into a r... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a baby and I don't. What do I do?
Q. Im 18 and im in college and my boyfriend is 20 and he wants a baby. Now i dont think he ready for one and plus i want to wait but he dont. I love him so much that i dont want to loose him. So everytime we get on that subject and i say no he gets mad ...
A. 16 November 2009: Just explain that while you would love to have a baby with him in the future, now is just not the right time to have a child.
You need to talk to him in a calm manner and give him a full explanation of why you dont want a baby - if you are just... (read in full...)
I can't compete with his ex.
Q. Dear All, I have been with my fiance for two years but I cannot get over HIS Ex. When he and I met, he had been single for two years after breaking up with the first woman he was ever emotionally involved with. He lived with her and her child ...
A. 13 November 2009: So let me get this straight. His ex was a cheat, she used him for his money and she had a kid that wasnt your boyfriends? So why on earth would you feel threatened by that?!
As long as you dont lie to him, cheat on him or use him for his money yo... (read in full...)
Does it hurt worse to lose your virginity when you are younger?
Q. i was wondering if it would hurt worse to lose your virginity when your my age which is thirteen or if it was the same no matter what age you are cause my friend said it was worse when your younger....
A. 13 November 2009: louxxlouxx is totally right, at 13 your body is not fully developed and puberty has only just kicked in (have you even started your periods yet?). So during puberty your hips widen, your boobs grow....all those sorts of changes that take you from a ... (read in full...)
Conflicted in having to choose between my girlfriend and my out of state job offer
Q. I'll keep it short: I am 20 and I live in Texas. I have an oppurtunity for a good job in New York doing what I love doing. My girlfriend of several years, however, is reluctant to move out of Texas. I love her more than anything, but I'm having ...
A. 13 November 2009: At your age you cannot pass on the chance to take a job like this, after all you are only 20 and these opportunities dont come along often. At such a young age you dont have the responsibilities that tie you down to a certain place, like kids, a ... (read in full...)
I love my teacher and is that okay?
Q. I like my teacher, is this totally wrong? I don't expect for him to ask me on a date. I know its illegal. and its not like i want to go out with him or kiss him or anything! i sometimes blush when i talk to him and idk why! and i sometimes get kind...
A. 11 November 2009: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-truth-about-teacher-student-relationships.html
Have a little read of this first - it is a pretty extreme story but it just shows how dangerous flirting with a teacher can be.
Ok so in terms of your question... (read in full...)
What do men find most attractive about women?
Q. what are men really attracted to? now as a young woman i am curious do men like skinny women or do they like a woman with some meat? what is the most attractive aspect of a womans body? do men like curvy or a stick? ...
A. 11 November 2009: From my experiences some men like slim girls (never ones that look anorexic though with their bones poking out) and some men like girls with curves, some men even go as far as liking what we would call "obese" girls! So it really is each to their ... (read in full...)
Is it work or age difference that is really keeping him away?
Q. Why does age difference have to be an issue after you turn 18? Say I'm 19 and he's 39? Why does work have to be an issue when your both single and its only a seasonal job so you only see the other in the summer or winter? If I were to work a s...
A. 10 November 2009: There is nothing wrong with liking a man older than you per say, but where the problems lie is in terms of the difference in maturity levels, life experiences and desires in life. Where a 39 year old man will be wanting to get married and settle ... (read in full...)
She fancies my man...do I confront her?
Q. hi. my best friend fancies my man. i told him and he said that he loves me and always will. i believe him. the thing is every one can see what she is doing.i feel that she is trying to push me out by taking over my life. dont know what to do as if i ...
A. 9 November 2009: Well at the end of the day you have your boyfriend and she doesnt have him - by pursuing her she just seems sad and desperate.
I think you shouldnt necessarily confront her as such but just have a word with her when you are both alone. Dont acc... (read in full...)
My b/f makes me feel complexed about my body, I used to be happy about it!
Q. When I'm watching movies with my boyfriend he is always pointing out which girls have better breasts or stomachs than me. If there is a topless scene he will immediately turn to me and tell me things like, "her's are much bigger than yours, they're ...
A. 6 November 2009: Surely you cant believe that you think he says these things to "help you"? No person on this earth would talk about how attractive other women/men in front of their partner thinking that it is helpful to point out what is so great about that other ... (read in full...)
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