A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My teacher brought in cake/sweets for our class because it was end of term. He does this usually, it is really lovely of him he has brought in things like Krispy Kremes for our year 12 (like 11th grade?) sixth form class before, and only us not the other classes he teaches, which is really nice.The other day it was our last lesson with him of the term and he had brought in swiss roll and other sweets. It was like 9 in the morning so I didnt feel like cake.He came around with the food and I said no thanks and he was like ‘okay’. Everyone else was quite happily taking as much as they liked.Then he came right to me (i.e. he wasnt just casually offering it around, he made a beeline for me), and asked a second time if I wanted any and I said ‘no thanks’ and he replied ‘well.. why did i bother bringing all this in then…’, and trailed off, but it wasn’t as rude as i am making it sound on here. I didnt quite understand that because there were 6 other people in the class happy to eat it, (it is a really small class) even though i didnt want any.Then he asked me a THIRD time if I wanted some cake/sweets and I said no thanks he asked me ‘why?’ like he was genuinely interested, and i replied ‘I just dont feel like any’ and he said ‘Okay’ this time mocking my english accent in a jokey way (he does this anyway, because he is from the north of britain so has a different accent)THEN FOR A FOURTH TIME (it was getting irritating now) he asked me if i wanted any and i said no.Again.FINALLY at the end of the class the bell was about to ring he said ‘here just take this last piece of cake’ and I gave in and said fine and he brought it over to me in a tissue and i took it from his hands and he said ‘there, go wild’ all sarcastically.He wasn’t mad at me as we chatted and smiled like usual in the hallway later etc, and when I was leaving the class right after he gave me the cake he was in the middle of talking to someone about their work then i heard him cut himself off mid sentence to them, to say “Bye ____, have a good easter!” to me as i was slipping out of the door quietly.The food thing was weirding me out, i said no once, twice, FOUR BLOODY TIMES, and he still kept asking me if i wanted some. I usually eat whatever food people bring in, it was just that morning. no im not anorexic, i dont look anorexic i am healthy, so it cant be that he was worried about my eating habits.there was another girl in the class not really eating anything either and refusing food but he didnt bother her about it, just me. which is why it is pissing me off.anyone have any idea what the hell was going on?? he is one of the nicest/coolest teachers we have. very down to earth, chats like a normal person (i.e. he swears sometimes, tells stories involving his own life, but nothing inappropriate)but this thing that happened is really annoying/confusing me.I have asked around online and in my friends and I am now seriously worried there is something behind his behaviour towards me? Help
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjada101, that seems likely. sorry i know this is a ridiculous question but, when an older man starts acting.. oddly around me in ANY way, i get suspicious. as i had a bad run in.. before. and i ignored all the warning signs. i guess i feel better being on my guard.
A
female
reader, jada101  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 Just let it go... when I was in high school I used to have a teacher like that. Always had sweets,food, I always used to eat it but one day I was just not feeling like it.. So because I never said no befor he asked me like 5 times.. I guess he thought there was something wrong that morning with you
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A
female
reader, ChristineAvril +, writes (28 March 2010):
 I did feel that when I read your OP. At least you are aware of the situation and its dangers; just keep monitoring it and make notes if you feel it helps.
Confide in a good friend and/or trusted adult, too, so that you have a good case if it does go bad on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI suppose it is kind of a storm in a teacup. It is just he has exhibited other.. odd.. flirtatious.. behavior with me. It rarely ever makes me feel uncomfortable. But this was so intense and creepy, it freaked me out no end, although reading back my question is sounds fairly harmless. I just got a little frightened that there was something behind it, i would rather be paranoid than end up in a situation i really rather wouldn't be in.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Its probably nothing. It is quite rude to turn down food when a teacher has made an effort to bring it in for his class, so he was probably a bit annoyed that you did not appreciate his gesture, hence why he kept asking you if you would like some.
Whatever the reason why he behaved like this, it doesnt really matter any way. He is your teacher, you are a student, if he is a decent teacher then no thoughts would ever cross his mind regarding you as anything other than his student.
You are making too much out of this situation, yes it is a little bit odd but it doesnt make a difference what it meant. Just forget about it, dont let it annoy you and move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, ChristineAvril +, writes (28 March 2010):
I am sort-of with "Not My Name" on this, but I wonder a little....
A couple of points here, OP: are you sure that you don't look underweight to him? Most anorexics are in denial and have an unrealistic impression of their body shape/size, so get an honest opinion from a trusted friend.
Also, you say that he didn't pursue another pupil to eat, only you. Are there any other signs that he singles you out for attention in other ways?
Be careful with any possible accusations and be totally sure and honest, but if you really believe this to be the case, share it with a trusted adult if there is inappropriate behaviour here.
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A
female
reader, Mish mash +, writes (28 March 2010):
Hi,
I'm sure this is nothing to worry about, he may have just been very concernd that something was wrong with you not nessisarily and eating problem he may have been worried that something had happen before school or at home!
:)
Mish Mash xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): You are seriously worried about this? Really? Then you have too much time on your hands. There doesn't seem to be anything remotely out of the ordinary going on here; my opinion is that you are trying to read more into it than is necessary and you want others to back you up. I suspect you probably have a crush on this guy and want to make it out to yourself that he maybe is singling you out for some special attention. I don't think he is. He was probably just trying to get rid of the cake. I don't know if you are underweight/overweight, whatever, although you say you don't look anorexic which is good. Maybe you have enjoyed the cakes he has brought in before and he was wondering why you didn't want any this time and perhaps thought something might be up (as good teachers are taught to recognise). I don't think there is ANYTHING going on here, except in your head maybe. I don't know what there is to be annoyed/confused/worried about in the slightest. Don't obsess over this guy if you can avoid it.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here. You mention no other behaviour to raise question, so I think he was simply trying to be hospitable (as he clearly is by bringing food in for students in the first place) and is really not a situation that warrants annoyance.
Personally, I don't eat pretty much anything sweet, and oft have people repetatively trying to get me to take doughnuts, cakes, biscuits, chocolate, lamingtons, slices, .. whatever else along those lines. Even when people have been told countelss times that I do not have a sweet tooth and find those types of foods sickly, they do it anyway, ...for no particular reson, ...they just want me to partake and enjoy with them. The fact I don;t actually enjoy such foods goes in one ear and out the other with most people coz if they are drooling over such things, it is just not in the forefront of their mind that some of us strage people just dont like that sort of thing.
No biggy, ..they are just trying to be nice.
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