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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Should I tell my teacher how I feel even though he has just moved in with his girlfriend?
Q. I love my teacher so much. The other day I found out that he has moved in with his girlfriend I didn't think that this would affect me but it did .I can't stop thinking about him should I tell him how I feel?...
A. 16 March 2010: If you do tell him then he will never come near you again, I promise you that! A declaration of your love for him would really scare him, and if he is a good teacher then he will go straight to the head teacher of the school and tell him/her what ... (read in full...)
I have developed feelings for my 14 year old student, how do I forget about this and get over him?
Q. I am a teacher. First of all, I would like to state that I am 27 and have *never* had a crush on anyone younger than me! I also know that what I'm about to write makes me a pedophile, so I am asking you not to call me names; I deserve them all. Tha...
A. 16 March 2010: I think you criticise yourself too much - are you actually attracted to children, or is it just this one boy in particular? Because if it is just the one boy then no you are not a pedophile, you are just attracted to someone unsuitable for you.
... (read in full...)
Wonderful man but not enough sex and bad at housework
Q. Hi I have been seeing my boyfriend for four months and he moved in to my apartment after two and a half months. I know this seems soon and it is! However, I know others who have managed this successfully and we thought carefully about doing this. It...
A. 15 March 2010: Ok so you have a wonderful relationship, have sex around twice a week (which is a lot more than most people) and his only flaw is that he is no good at housework? Sorry to say this but you are picking holes in something that is pretty darn good just ... (read in full...)
Questions about the Pill......
Q. Hello everyone after a long decision ive decided to start taking the pill But want to ask some questions Please if anyone can help then great thankyou......... Do u have to pay for the pill? Where do u get the pill from? Is it good...
A. 15 March 2010: 1. In the UK no you do not have to pay for the pill. The Doctor will give you a prescrption, and when you take it to the chemist you tick a box on the prescription which says something like "contraception" and it is free. If you are unsure ask the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell a friend about to get married that I have feelings for her?
Q. im in love with my best friend but she is getting married in a few months. i feel jelouis when i see them together or hear about what they have done. do i risk our friendship by telling her? and how do i get over my feelings for her and move on?...
A. 15 March 2010: Dont tell her - she doesnt love you and does not want to be with you so you will only cause problems by telling her.
She is getting married - you have to accept now that you will never be together. As long as in your head you know that while sh... (read in full...)
How do I tell her that I love her? And will we have problems due to her religion?
Q. Hi everyone, I am a non Muslim guy, I met this Muslim girl. and yeah, I fell in love with her; I know it is not infatuation, because I never felt like I feel with this girl. I am not sure what to do, she does not know I like her and I am afraid ...
A. 15 March 2010: I'm not quite sure what you mean by this statement:
"And if I do tell her I would have problems with her family/religion"
Does that mean you have problems with her being a Muslim? Or are you worried that it will cause problems in your relatio... (read in full...)
I was attacked and now I am pregnant, I don't know if I should keep the baby
Q. Hi im in a bit of a mess, i am in a relationship with a person i have a son with. i was attacked about 4 weeks ago and now im 2 weeks late my partner doesnt know i was attacked no one does. I am in debt of 6k and im out of work im struggling ...
A. 15 March 2010: I'm sorry but this does not make much sense. If you could clear a few things up that would be very helpful.
1. In what way were you attacked? Are you trying to say you were sexually attacked and the baby'a father could be that man?
2. Why ar... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher how I feel even though he has just moved in with his girlfriend?
Q. I love my teacher so much. The other day I found out that he has moved in with his girlfriend I didn't think that this would affect me but it did .I can't stop thinking about him should I tell him how I feel?...
A. 15 March 2010: No. This is just a simple crush and you will get over it in time. He doesnt love you, and will never share the same feeligngs for you, so there is no point in saying anything to him otherwise he will have to report you to the head of the school so ... (read in full...)
I don't like the feeling of being second best to his deceased wife.
Q. I've been dating a widower for over 2 years now. He rarely tells me that he love me unless he's had a few. He takes lovely cards to his wife's grave for birthdays and christmas and this is the type of things he writes ....happy birthday sweetheart, ...
A. 12 March 2010: Well this might not be what you want to hear but I know that when I get married, I will marry the "one" so to speak, and it will be forever. Even when he dies, if that happens before I go then I will never be able to love someone like I loved him, ... (read in full...)
How do I keep our relationship going strong despite her being married?
Q. Wow I'm new to this kind of thing. I've found myself in love with a married woman of 26 yrs older whom has three kids and is a grandparent. And I'm both physically and sexually attracted to this woman and I haven't seen her in person, but I do have ...
A. 9 March 2010: I'm not sure what you want me to respond with? You have only said that she is still married and a grand-parent, something which we already knew. You dont ask any further questions so I'm not sure how I can help you any further?
You say she has ... (read in full...)
My wife wasn't honest about her sexual past and now I hate her
Q. Hi, I and my wife came in contact 5 years ago. At that time she had a boyfriend. It was a strange relationship; we both got attracted towards each other. In the beginning she was treating me only as a friend. Finally she broke up with that boy and ...
A. 4 March 2010: Yos is totally right - this is your problem and your wife has not done anything wrong. You obviously loved her enough to marry her, and she loves you because she agreed to marry you. So here you are, with a daughter and a wife who loves you, wishing ... (read in full...)
Very bad pimples, could you suggest something that might help me please?
Q. I have a Question about pimples. I don't have really bad acne or anything but I have random pimples on my face. I wash my face twice a day with soap and water and I use proactive to. I have been using it since October and It doesn't work. I do ...
A. 4 March 2010: Soap is a bad idea, it dries your skin out as it is not designed for the delicate skin on your face. I know it might seem like a good idea because spots are caused by excess oil on your face, but drying your skin out is a bad idea regardless of your ... (read in full...)
My mom and dad want to use my credit and then have me go bankrupt, any way I can stop them?
Q. So I have sort of a financial problem... Apparently my dad and mom want to work up my credit then have me go bankrupt I have no specicfic reasons why so dey want to ... But I have no control and if I say no they stop talking to me... Why would I ...
A. 4 March 2010: They cant take out any credit in your name, or take any money from you without your consent. So unless you are happily sitting there filling out credit applications then you are in complete control of the situation. If they do go behind your back ... (read in full...)
I want to divorce my husband and take my son abroad
Q. I want to divorce my husband and move abroad with my son. I know my husband and family will object strongly. Is there any way it is possible? I cant face the possiblity of leaving my son behind. My son is very close to his dad, and i am not doing ...
A. 4 March 2010: Well why do you want to move abroad? Why do the benefits of moving abroad outweigh the issues you will encounter when trying to take your son away from his family?
You dont give enough information here I'm afraid - you will only get people r... (read in full...)
Could I have lost my virginity to a toothbrush?
Q. Dear Cupid, This may be an odd question, but I don't know if I've possibly already lost my virginity. I've never actually had sex, however, being pretty in the moment, I've gone to certain extremes during masturbation. It's rather embarrassing, bu...
A. 4 March 2010: The answer is no, you have not lost your virginity. You only lose your virginity when a penis enters your vagina. Masturbating (whether that is with your fingers or other objects) is still masturbation, not sex therefore you cant lose your virginity ... (read in full...)
She said I was a boring skank! Why would my best friend do that?
Q. my best friend called me a boring skan.k cos i said i wont get drunk and sleep with strangers when we go on holiday. i took off our marriage on face book.. she called me pathetic and started swearing at me,calling me a weirdo, fool, stupid..al...
A. 3 March 2010: She doesnt sound like a particularly good friend! But I guess the choice here is yours - do you care about her enough to forgive her and do you still want her in your life? Or do you think you would be better off without someone like that?
If yo... (read in full...)
Why does teenage romance hurt like hell?
Q. Why does teenage romance hurt like hell? Well, that's just about it for this question. For once, i don't have much to say....
A. 3 March 2010: To put it simply - you dont have enough life experience as a teenager to apply reality to the situation, therefore you become completely consumed by your relationship and your feelings for that person become overwhelming.
Teen romances are very... (read in full...)
Should I go to his house to confront him in a friendly manner?
Q. Hey guys, thanks for taking your time to read my problem :) I've been with this guy for a month and at first everything seemed to clicked. We had that instant attraction to each other. He used to txt me and ask how's it going almost every day...
A. 3 March 2010: Simple answer to this is NO! Sorry for using the corny old saying but "he just isnt that into you". If he was interested he would text back - simple as that.
It seems to me that when he was trying to get a bit physical with you - that was what he ... (read in full...)
How important is it to men that women take care of themselves? And should she take care of the house too?
Q. do guys think it is important for a woman to take care of herself? i mean like always looking good, having her hair done and nails done? or would they think that she is too high maintenance and be put off?? also when a guy moves in with a girl i...
A. 2 March 2010: I think there is a fine balance when it comes to a woman looking after herself and being high maintenance. I think nails can actually be a defining point in this - if you have to have your false nails applied weekly, and cant type on your phone ... (read in full...)
Why do some guys think all women are hoes that sleep around?
Q. why do some guys think all women are hoes?? that sleeps around?? i find is really rude and very disrespectful. cos am not the type so i get offend when guys talk about girls like that...
A. 2 March 2010: Well as you said, only "some" guys think like this, not all of them! So it doesnt really matter why the immature, silly guys think that way because you dont have to waste your time on them. Instead dont talk to guys like that and focus on having ... (read in full...)
Trying to have a baby!
Q. Me and my husband are trying to have a Baby. So if i were on top of him and he came inside me like halfway almost at the tip of my entrance and i stand up then go and lay on my back for like 5-10minutes. Could that help us to have a baby. We are ...
A. 2 March 2010: You cant choose the sex of your child - there are a number of theories on this but I honestly dont believe them. Best to use Google and type in something like this "how do you have a baby girl" - this should bring up a number of articles that ... (read in full...)
How do I keep our relationship going strong despite her being married?
Q. Wow I'm new to this kind of thing. I've found myself in love with a married woman of 26 yrs older whom has three kids and is a grandparent. And I'm both physically and sexually attracted to this woman and I haven't seen her in person, but I do have ...
A. 2 March 2010: You have not even met her in person and she is married. That should be enough to tell you this relationship is not going anywhere and you are wasting your time.
After all, you cant have any idea how you feel about a person until you meet them fac... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a distorted image of yourself? And how do I make my arms slimmer?
Q. [Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged together] People that are close to me tell me I have a nice figure, a pretty face, and am very attractive. However, I mostly see something different when I look in the mirror. ...
A. 1 March 2010: Google 'Body Dysmorphia" and this website should help you http://www.thebddfoundation.org/
Body dysmorphia is quite common in young females these days, it is a psychological condition and it often leads to eating disorders. So if you read up on it... (read in full...)
I don't know what my rights are when it comes to renting this new property, how do I confront my new landlady?
Q. I think my new landlord is trying to fob me off and I really need some advice before I confront her! I moved into my new property on Friday. I am renting it through a letting agents. When I first went to look around the place, the estate agent tol...
A. 1 March 2010: I would make copies of the advert for the property that is online, and go to the estate agent and get a copy of their advert from their window. Explain to the estate agent that you have spoke to your landlady and all she said was "there isnt one" - ... (read in full...)
What type of man would be best for me?
Q. Who would u choose? A man whos reilable.honest.could trust 100 percent. Caring. Sensitive and shy. But you dont quite fancy them totally like u dont wanna rip their clothes off! Or a man whos gorgeous. Fit body.you just sit there thinking oh my god ...
A. 28 February 2010: Neither!
There is such thing as a man who treats you right and you fancy the pants of him! So dont settle for either - you will never be happy with either of these men and will always feel you are lacking something in your relationship.
So d... (read in full...)
I need help getting healthy for summer
Q. I've always been average size but lately I'm gaining more weight than what I would like to. I'm about 30lbs. Over my ideal weight.. Its february now but by summer I would like to lose 30lbs so I can have energy, be active, and look healthy for this ...
A. 28 February 2010: Its very simple - expend more energy than you put in! So basically burn more calories than you put into your body, which means you just need to make sure you are exercising frequently (aim for 30 mins every day) and eating healthy, and you will soon ... (read in full...)
Virginty not fully taken?
Q. Hello, I have a partner she was married for 9 years and she lost her virginity to her husband. They have a child but she gave birth through ceserian. She is now divorced. We have perfect sex with her and we love each other so much. During our sex,...
A. 28 February 2010: It was not the "last part of her virginity" - when a woman bleeds when she loses her virginity this is her hymen breaking - and this is located at the entrance of the vagina, not deep inside her vagina. So no this is not possible I'm afraid.
To be... (read in full...)
Hair can't be ignored, need advice.
Q. I posted this question about 2 years ago and people told me to ignore "it" n it'll go away. well, it didn't. I'm almost 15 and this is really embarrassing, but i have hair like everywhere on my body-not just like legs n my armpits but like on my ...
A. 28 February 2010: Please please do not shave it! And try not to wax it either - with the exception of your underarms and legs (plus bikini line if you want to). Shaving will only make it grow back stubbly and rough, and often can come back darker so it will ... (read in full...)
I want to travel the world but my parents won't let me.
Q. This is not really a question about relationships or anything but I am only 13 and I want to travel the world and be on my own but my parents won't even let me walk around by myself! What should I do?...
A. 26 February 2010: Well you are very young so maybe you should listen to them - after all they are looking out for your safety and well-being.
Of course you can travel the world, but that is only something you can do once you are older because you need lots of money... (read in full...)
Pregnant and scared my daughter will feel left out once the new baby comes along...
Q. I've just found out that im pregnant and i feel really guilty bout it. Im 28 and i have a 5 yr old daughter already from a previous 5 yr relationship. Ive been single for 3 yrs so its just been me and my daughter weve done so much together she such ...
A. 26 February 2010: I think if your daughter seems excited about the new baby then you dont need to worry too much, I'm sure she will adapt to it well and love having a little brother or sister to play with.
My work colleague is currently pregnant with her second c... (read in full...)
My boyfriend knows I get violent when I drink, is he being inconsiderate by planning a birthday party?
Q. Hello, I am currently dating someone who can drink socially,without getting crazy. However, I can't. He knows this, and discourages me from drinking because it always ends up with me saying hurtful things to him, and sometimes even violence. ...
A. 25 February 2010: No he is not being inconsiderate - do you really expect him to stop going out with friends, celebrating his birthdays...all because you cannot handle your drink? Just because you cannot handle your drink does not mean that he has to sacrifice ... (read in full...)
On day 16 of my cycle, I took my pill a few hours late. Was that gap big enough for me to possibly end up pregnant?
Q. I started taking my BC pill--Ortho Tri Nessa--at the end of November '09. My BF and I started having sex in the 3rd week of January '10. At the end of January, my period was very light. When I was on this pill before, I never noticed any chan...
A. 24 February 2010: Not sure exactly how your type of pill works but I know for my contraceptive pill as long as you take your late/missed pill within 12 hours of your normal time for taking the pill then you will be fine. Any longer than 12 hours there is a chance ... (read in full...)
What did he mean when he said he doesn't want me to be his rebound girl as it would not be fair on me?
Q. Ive recently been getting close to a guy I have known for a while. We have been flirting and I will admit that I like him a lot. He broke up with his ex before Christmas but he said that he didnt want me to be his rebound girl as it wouldnt be fa...
A. 23 February 2010: It means exactly what he said - I dont know how else you could interpret it?!
I'll try some other ways of saying it, maybe this will help:
- He is not over his ex
- He is not ready for a relationship
- The break-up is still very fresh in his me... (read in full...)
Does a relationship goes with money or not?
Q. Hello everyone, i have a problem. there is one girl. am older than her. am 23 and she's 18. we met on the internet. we are planning to see each other. we supposed to see each other on valentine day but she disappointed me. when am calling her, she's ...
A. 17 February 2010: Sounds like she is using you for money I'm afraid! I bet when she finds out you cannot afford to sponsor her through her education she will drop you faster than you could imagine and be off trawling the internet for another rich sucker to pay her ... (read in full...)
Am I labelling myself right?
Q. I am 15 an i have been using the term bisexual but recently realized that that term may be wrong. I date girls and guys and like both romantically but i dont want sex with either one. I have had sex with a guy but i didnt really care either way for ...
A. 17 February 2010: Asexual? Going to be alone forever?
Sorry that may be a little harsh but there is some truth there. Read this carefully - you CANNOT have a relationship without a physical element. If this occurs then all you have is a friendship, not a relation... (read in full...)
Curious about moral convictions on sex....
Q. Curious about moral convictions on sex. I was raised Christian, and sex outside of marriage is a sin--period. What are others' thoughts? Thanks so much! --GG...
A. 17 February 2010: If that is what you believe in then great, and dont let anyone try and talk you out of it because your beliefs are your own, and you have to stay true to yourself.
I however, am somewhere in between a Christian and an atheist if that is possible... (read in full...)
Why would they label me a stalker?
Q. My nickname is Rocco I have talk to this girl and she labeled me a stalker the other day, meet her on myspace and we talked I got her digits and we would text I told her my school situation and she cracked a joke but then it was like we would te...
A. 17 February 2010: To put it simply - her boyfriend thought you were interested in his girl because you were texting her and talking to her a lot, so he got worried that something might happen between you both so he called you a stalker to stop you from contacting her ... (read in full...)
What are the chances of me becoming pregnant by this?
Q. I'm concerned about whether or not I might be pregnant. I've done some research but I wanted other's opinions. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in a while, and I know I'm not pregnant from the last time we had sex, as I've been ill and had a ...
A. 17 February 2010: How could it have been transferred? Did the hand you were using to give him a handjob come into contact with your vagina?
If yes, then there is a tiny chance you could be pregnant. If no - then there is no way you could be pregnant.
If you ... (read in full...)
University break ups?
Q. Hello there Recently me and my boyfriend, of about 2 years, talked about what we were going to do for university,even though its about a year away from him actually going. we will be going to separate universities. He says that he wants us to break...
A. 17 February 2010: read this post, it might help you http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-a-good-idea-to-be-single.html
As for your situation - your boyfriend is right in thinking it is best to break up when you go to uni but the way he has gone about it is wrong... (read in full...)
Do any other girls out there withold sex from their partners when they have done something wrong?
Q. Please Help .... I have a problem . When my boyfriend does something wrong , like out late with his mates , or comes home intoxicated , I without Sex for a period of time . I tell him the set penalty time and he signs a form ..eg : 1 week , 1 ...
A. 17 February 2010: It doesnt seem like you want an outcome to be honest - you defend your behaviour in all of your follow-ups "I dont think Im doing such a strange thing", Its just the way I address potential problems ..and it works".....so what do you want us to ... (read in full...)
I'm already worried about the size of my penis even though I am not planning on having sex until I am married!
Q. I know I might be to young to worry about this, but I'm 17 years old and I'm a virgin and I don't really plan on having sex untill I'm married, but I need an opinion from a woman, my penis is about 6 inches long when erect, is that too small??...
A. 16 February 2010: You have nothing to worry about, 6 inches is a good size for a man's penis. The typical length/depth of a vagina is actually around 4 inches, so you have 2 extra spare inches going by that statistic!
Women really dont care much about the size of ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to hate making out?
Q. is it normal to hate making out? i love to make out, being 24 im pretty much at my prime. my fiancee on the other hand is 30. says making out is for teenagers. weve made out once....in the year we were together. all i get is 3 small pecks on the ...
A. 16 February 2010: It is not normal to hate making out, but then again it is unusual to still want to be "making out" so to speak in your mid-late 20's. I find with all relationships, you tend to kiss a lot at the start before you have slept together, then once sex is ... (read in full...)
Do any other girls out there withold sex from their partners when they have done something wrong?
Q. Please Help .... I have a problem . When my boyfriend does something wrong , like out late with his mates , or comes home intoxicated , I without Sex for a period of time . I tell him the set penalty time and he signs a form ..eg : 1 week , 1 ...
A. 13 February 2010: I actually cannot believe this question, and I cannot believe (if this is not a fake question) that your boyfriend is still with you!
You make him sign a form? And inspect his semen? This is just all a bit crazy I'm sorry to say! I hope he withh... (read in full...)
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