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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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If I'm pregant, I want an abortion without being judged!
Q. hi i am really worried that i am pregnant. I have a feeling that i am and i think im starting to look as though i am. i am scared to go to the doctors because I am afraid of being judged and i know it sounds stupid but if i am i want to abo...
A. 17 December 2009: A home pregnancy test should work even if you are still having periods - but the chances are if you are having periods then you are not be pregnant. It all depends how long ago you had unprotected sex?
I think you should make an appointm... (read in full...)
Do girls go on top or on bottom?
Q. I have a question, during sex is the female normally on top? i no its more of a choice thing but generally are girls expected to go ontop??...
A. 17 December 2009: Well I would say that normally men are expected to go on top - the "classic" sex position if you like is missionary, where the man is on top of the woman.
But there are hundreds of sex positions, and the best thing to do is to experiment and find... (read in full...)
I am 14 and wishing, and hoping and kinda wondering if I might be pregnant
Q. hey, my name is jena. around september 25th maybe i had unprotected sex with my kinda boyfrind. a couple days later we had unprotected sex again. i havent takin a pregnancy test yet...but im not feeling any of the symptoms except being tired and ...
A. 17 December 2009: Well these are your exact words....
"but in a waay i kinda wanna be pregnant, just thinking about it makes me feel like it was ment yuh know"
So generally when you say you "wanna be pregnant" the aunts/uncles are on here are going to assume ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my mom is pregnant...
Q. Ugh, I think my mom's pregnant. I'm 16 and an only child, my parents are married and I love how my life is. I don't want anything to change and i'm in shock.. I feel like crying... My mom is 38 and she got pregnant last year, too, but had an ...
A. 16 December 2009: Well the best thing to do if you are so close to your mum is to talk to her - just come right out and ask if she is pregnant, and tell her how you feel about the possibility of having a brother/sister.
But if your parents do have another child, a... (read in full...)
I am over worrying about not falling pregnant yet!
Q. I know this is probably a question for doctors but I just want opinions really as I am worried. Just over 2 years ago I got pregnant after 8 months of trying but suffered a miscarriage at around 8 weeks which has made me worried about getting pr...
A. 16 December 2009: Having Chlamydia for a couple of weeks shouldnt have affected your fertility at all so I doubt it has anything to do with that.
One question for you - have you been on the pill recently or used any other form of birth control? You said you used... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not wanting my 22 year old daugther to bring boys home?
Q. Im a 49 year old divorcee and have a boyfriend. We get on well and my 22 year-old daughter also accepts him. My daughter never has a boyfriend until recently she starts asking a boy at work out for a drink. She said they are just friends he is ...
A. 16 December 2009: Well I am 22 so hopefully I will be able to give you a perspective similar to that of your daughter's.
I would be horrified if, aged 22 (which is well into adulthood), my mum wouldnt let me be alone in a house with my boyfriend! So I would sa... (read in full...)
We are mis-matched in terms of height, can we still have sex?
Q. my height is 5'3 and my bf is 6'2 can we have sex??? if so how????...
A. 16 December 2009: Height bears no relevance to having sex unless you have sex standing up. So have sex however you want, and just enjoy yourself! ... (read in full...)
I am 14 and wishing, and hoping and kinda wondering if I might be pregnant
Q. hey, my name is jena. around september 25th maybe i had unprotected sex with my kinda boyfrind. a couple days later we had unprotected sex again. i havent takin a pregnancy test yet...but im not feeling any of the symptoms except being tired and ...
A. 16 December 2009: Ok so having unprotected sex twice doesnt mean you "will" get pregnant - it is not guaranteed. It can take some people months and months to get pregnant, and for some people it only takes 1 time. Everyone is different.
However you are only 14 ... (read in full...)
I have only one ball!
Q. Hi, im a 17 year old guy still in school im a virgin and my dick was 6" last time i checked maybe 5 months ago but thats not my problem my problem is i only have one ball in my sack nd i can feel the other one to the left right above my dick nd this ...
A. 15 December 2009: Well being female myself, I can honestly tell you that I rarely look at a man's balls, if ever! I cant even tell you what my boyfriend's balls look like and I've been with him 4 months! Women really do not care about balls, I promise you that! This ... (read in full...)
Is my ex trying to play mind games with me?
Q. my ex fiance contacted me this year -he told me he got married-we'd had a bad split -mutual but i always just wanted to clear the air so i did and we emailed a couple of times but i noticed he was answering the emails early in the morning and would ...
A. 15 December 2009: Change your email account and forget all about him! It sounds like he is playing games - maybe he has gotten a bit bored with married life and wants to reminisce about old times?!
Regardless of what this man is trying to do - it is only going to... (read in full...)
17 and a 40 year old having sex?
Q. Hello. I was just wondering if it's ok for a seventeen year old girl to have sex with a forty year old man? I've known him for a few months and we've been talking a lot. I really like him and want him. I know that it is a significant age difference, ...
A. 15 December 2009: The age of consent in your state will be the main issue - what is the laws in your state? If it is 18 then there could be some huge problems if you have sex with him - he would end up in jail for a long time if the police found out! But if it is ... (read in full...)
Do I expect too much from him and this relationship?
Q. I have been dating my current boyfriend for about six months now, and I feel no closer to him now than I did at the beginning. I have been in a serious relationship before of two years, and was cheated on, but our relationship was so strong and even ...
A. 14 December 2009: Re-read your post and I think you already know the answer. Key points: 1. You dont feel close to him 2. He treats you badly 3. You have nothing to talk about, your not affectionate with each other and you have to force him to have sex with y... (read in full...)
Help..how to seduce my cousin?
Q. Hey, So my cousin's really hot. He's 17 and I'm 14. We chat sometimes but we never flirt, and he has a girlfriend. But I really want to get him to notice me! How can I do so? Please don't say "you're too young" or "it's your COUSIN get real". F...
A. 14 December 2009: Of course it is your choice when it comes to deciding who you "want" to be with - but that other person actually has to be interested in you in the first place to make that happen!
Ok so there are 3 good reasons why you shouldnt be with your cou... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity on Friday and I'm worried about the bleeding
Q. i lost my virginity on friday and i lost quiet alot of blood straight after (about a full knicker lining) then after that the bleeding stopped and the next day i had a bit in another set of knickers as well. i havent yet started my periods so could ...
A. 13 December 2009: I hate hearing stories like this.....you are so young! You havent even started your periods yet, your body is still that of a child and it really is not ready for sex!
Ok first things first, if the boy didnt use a condom then you could have an ... (read in full...)
My wife and I both had affairs but she won't forgive me for mine
Q. After many months of hell, and my wife's affair, my suspected affair, myself and my wife decided to give it another go. She has been honest with all that has happenned, so I decided to confirm to her the affair I had that she suspected. She's gone ...
A. 13 December 2009: I guess while you are both in the wrong for having affairs, at least she was honest about it and came clean to you, whereas you continued to hide your infidelity. So your wife will have been feeling terrible, thinking that she has cheated and has ... (read in full...)
Relationships between aunts and nephews
Q. just to understand, why does, most of the time, aunt-nephew relationship gets into sex flavor. i have had experiences. many friends of mine told me they too similar kind of experiences. i think most guys goes thru this session. can people in here ...
A. 11 December 2009: Well I for one have never heard of an aunt and a nephew having a sexual relationship! I dont know a single man who has had sex with his aunt!
Must be a cultural thing......... (read in full...)
Is it at all possible to be attractive and just slightly "curvy?"
Q. I am a slightly overweight 20-year old female and I feel that my weight really affects how men view me. I feel that I'm really ready to be in a relationship, but it seems that absolutely no one is interested. I feel even more discouraged when I go ...
A. 11 December 2009: I hope you dont take Rainorfire's answer to heart - he is actually wrong about skinny people being healthier than larger people. Any person can have health problems, regardless of size. Yes obesity does carry lots of problems, but equally being ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to have a child but hubby says no. How to handle the situation? I almost resent him.
Q. My husband and I have been married for a year but together for 9 years. He is a student pilot for the military and I am a stay at home wife. I'm having baby fever and he is aware of my feelings. He is the kind of guy who likes to plan EVERYTHING. ...
A. 11 December 2009: I think your husband is right - he is still studying so at the present time it is not a good idea to have a baby. Financially you wont have enough money because you dont work and he is still in training to be a pilot, and also I imagine your husband ... (read in full...)
My ex is blackmailing me and I like skinny women but she is average
Q. How can I get my ex to stop blackmailing me. I don't want to get into alot of detail as this is the internet. It was a crime that was committed by both of us and she has the evidence to prove it. We will both be facing charges and she does not ...
A. 11 December 2009: This makes no sense! What has liking skinny women got to do with anything?!... (read in full...)
Why do people like to inflict pain on me?
Q. I've always wondered this and it's getting worse by the months. More and more people tend to be horrible to me and i don't know why. Is it because of the person i am? Or what? People like to afflict pain on me. Why? For example, one of my friend...
A. 10 December 2009: Ok to address each of these examples individually will show you how this is YOUR problem and not the world being against you. 1. You tried to snatch some paper out of someone's hand! Have you ever heard of asking first? Or perhaps some manners? Wh... (read in full...)
Do women like short, skinny men?
Q. are there any wemen out there who go for short skinny men??...
A. 10 December 2009: It would help if you knew how to spell "women" first.....
But in all seriousness then yes there are women out there who like short skinny men, just as there are women who like tall fat men! Everyone has different tastes in potential partners... (read in full...)
Any ideas on how I can lose weight?
Q. I really want to lose weight! In high school I was in such great shape, but now it's been 3 years since I've been out and I gained quite a bit of weight. So my question is are there any ideas you all could give me on how to lose weight? Thanks ...
A. 10 December 2009: Well I dont know if you are male or female so I cant really go into any specifics - it would help to know that as well as your current weight, height and goals (in terms of your health & weight). If you could post again with this info that would be ... (read in full...)
I found pictures of nude women on my b/f's computer!
Q. I found a bunch of pictures of naked women on my boyfriend's cd and a small sex video. Is there something I should be worried about? I feel that he has a problem? Or also feeling that he's not getting enough sex in our relationship which leads me to ...
A. 10 December 2009: Its nothing to do with him not getting enough - even if you were having sex every day the chances are as soon as he gets a few minutes alone in front of his computer then he will have a quick look at porn. My boyfriend and I have sex pretty much ... (read in full...)
How do I get my 38 year old lover back?
Q. Hey everyone, Ive got a big problem. He's 38 and im 18 and even though ive heard all the comments about robbing the cradle, hes only using you for sex. I dont care and I love him and he loved me. it all started on saturday when he came up from...
A. 9 December 2009: My guess is that he has come to realise that he is a 38 year old man who doesnt want a relationship with a teenager!
It is perfectly understandable for you to have behaved the way you did, after all you are a teenager who just wants to go out a... (read in full...)
How do you get tested for STIs? and How long do I wait before getting it done?
Q. okay - firstly i was stupid enough to sleep with someone without a condom - yes, aware of this. But i am now in the wanting to get tested stage to make sure i am okay. I know chalamydia and syphilis are the most common STI's so i am gonna get tested ...
A. 9 December 2009: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Sexual-health-clinics/Pages/How-does-it-work.aspx
http://www.nhs.uk/ServiceDirectories/Pages/ServiceSearchAdditional.aspx?ServiceType=SexualHealthService
These two links should help you - the first explains what ha... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to his personality but not neccessarily looks, can this work?
Q. I've met a guy who is very far from my usual type, which I'm aware might be a good thing, and would like advice if you think it's something worth working at. I don't have a great relationship history. Without wanting to come across as arroga...
A. 8 December 2009: Ok well I have been in a similar position in the past and I am actually now dating a guy who is really not my usual "type" so I might be able to help!
My usual type used to be really tall, typically "good looking" men and looks were always r... (read in full...)
Do you think it's the right time for me to have a baby?
Q. Hey, I'm 16, and out of school.. And I want a baby, I have for a few years now.. I have a steady relationship that I have been in for a little over a year.. I make alot of money, I have a steady job, and I am my own boss, and I also make ALOT of ...
A. 8 December 2009: Basically the answer is no. This question is asked a lot on this site, by many girls aged between 13 and 18. So this is pretty much what I say to all of them:
First of the all the reason you "want" a baby is because of puberty - your hormones... (read in full...)
My close friend likes my teacher too, it makes me so jealous when she spends time with him!
Q. This is probably the most stupid jealousy question you've heard! But anyway, student-teacher-whatever-you-want-to-call them. I'm in one. One of my teachers is just the nicest guy etc. etc. We get on quite well, and we can have a laugh pretty eas...
A. 6 December 2009: Unless your teacher wants to lose his job and face some serious criminal charges then I highly doubt he will be interested in your friend!
You seem to understand that nothing will ever happen between you and your teacher - so just try and understa... (read in full...)
Should I dress to impress or to suit myself?
Q. who do you dress your self or others? I know this question may sound silly but is been in my mind for a while now. I don't have a lot of clothes and I like to look nice. But when you don't have much to wear people tend to notice what you wear since ...
A. 6 December 2009: I always dress to please myself - I think it is very important to feel comfortable and confident in what you are wearing. I love clothes, I even studied Fashion at University! It made me realise that everyone has their own body shape, and their own ... (read in full...)
At what age can a girl get pregnant?
Q. Hi to all, help me I have a serious question, what age can a girl or woman get pregnant? I want to know please help!..,....
A. 4 December 2009: As all the other aunts have said - it varies massively and depends on the individual person. So you can assume that basically as soon as you have unprotected sex then there is a good chance you can get pregnant, regardless of age.
Always use birt... (read in full...)
Just found out my girlfriend is pregnant, and I'm unsure what I want or should do!
Q. I have recently found out that my girlfriend of almost 8 months is 5 weeks pregnant and I am unsure about what I want/should do. She is currently in her first year of university, and I am in my second year of university, at different universities. I ...
A. 4 December 2009: Well at the end of the day all you can do is express to your girlfriend exactly how you feel - just pretty much tell her everything you have told us!
Explain that all you want is what is best for her - you dont want her to suffer or be unhappy.... (read in full...)
How can I get back my virginity?
Q. i lost my virginity with my wex bf... i need to get back my lost virginity ...
A. 3 December 2009: Very sorry but you cannot "get back" your virginity. Once it has gone, its gone forever!
You should just have been more careful when fooling around with your ex. You jumped into bed with him without thinking it through and there is no way to c... (read in full...)
Is this what a normal relationship is like?
Q. Hi, I have been in love with my BF about 2 years +, I feel my relationship is not normal. He is a White guy and he is a Boss of one factory in asian (Switzerland), I am Asian girl (Chinese), he always told me their culture in Switzerland is d...
A. 3 December 2009: Well I hope I have understood your questions properly because your English is not great so apologies if I have misunderstood you. But I will do my best to answer your questions!
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is using his culture as an excus... (read in full...)
What can I do to help Harry?
Q. hi it's not really a love question but i hope you can help anyway. My friend *harry is being framed by this girl i used to be friends with *ellie. according to ellie, harry asked her for a topless photo of her over msn. she's told the police a...
A. 2 December 2009: Well to be honest the police wouldnt be taking this seriously if they didnt find anything on his computer. So if she never sent a picture then technically he wouldnt have anything incriminating on his computer? So judging by the fact that the police ... (read in full...)
How do I know what is more important
Q. Which do you think is more important? Marrying your best friend, or someone who is great in bed?...
A. 2 December 2009: Marrying your best friend who you have great sex with : )
I'm very lucky in that I have met someone who I love with all my heart, he is my best friend and we have fantastic sex. Hence why I know what we have is very special and I'm lucky to have ... (read in full...)
Shall I leave him to it or fight for my man?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years we have been through so much. i got drunk a week ago and apparently kicked him out but i dont remember that. i texed, rang and never got any response then last night a week after this all happened he said ...
A. 2 December 2009: I think if you let him move back to his mum's, and do as he said in starting over from scratch, then he will be wanting to move back in with you faster than you think!
Living with parents when you are older than 18 is never much fun - he will hav... (read in full...)
I'm getting married and I'm very sad. Why am I feeling like this? Red flag???
Q. I'm getting married. But i'm very sad. I don't know why. I'm anxious and very scared about marrying this man. I love him, but i am scared that im making a mistake. I feel alone for some reason. We went to get our Marriage License the other day ...
A. 2 December 2009: Dont go ahead with the wedding if you dont feel 100% certain about it. It sounds like you are both having doubts and there are problems in your relationship so the most important thing to do is work on these problems before you think about getting ... (read in full...)
What do to for the best? Should I confront him?
Q. My boyfriend is cheating on me. I followed him from home one night and I know where she lives. I want to confront this girl but I don't know that to do. If I confront her I will lose him altogether but if I don't I can always use this as blackmail ...
A. 2 December 2009: I'm guessing your the same person who asked this question but you have created a new account so no-one will notice? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/after-having-an-affair-with-a-married-man.html
I bet you just left out the part that he is marri... (read in full...)
Why is she now like this?
Q. Hello I think the honeymoon period is over in my relationship. After a wonderful 5 months my girl has changed. She is happy for me to see buddies, my family and is not the jealous type but in other ways I feel so criticised She says I put the d...
A. 2 December 2009: Are you actually living together? After only 5 months? That could be the problem right there if that is the case!
As Gina said, everyone has their habits and their own way of doing things, so try not to take it to heart when she says you are doin... (read in full...)
What can I do to help Harry?
Q. hi it's not really a love question but i hope you can help anyway. My friend *harry is being framed by this girl i used to be friends with *ellie. according to ellie, harry asked her for a topless photo of her over msn. she's told the police a...
A. 2 December 2009: Well unfortunately there is not a lot you can do to help him I'm afraid, just be a good friend to him, stand by him and support him throughout all of this.
The problem is that because she is under 16 (the legal age of consent) then even if she w... (read in full...)
I need your input guys. Is she lying to me?
Q. My wife and I seperated as of a week ago, over her lying about her talking to her ex and meeting him at a park, this is not the first time I caught her. During our seperation we talked about seeing a counsellor and working through our problems, well ...
A. 2 December 2009: It sounds like she is drip-feeding you elements of the story, maybe in a few months time you will actually get the full truthful version. I cant really say if she cheated on you, fooled around with him, or just slept next to him - there is no real ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help Harry?
Q. hi it's not really a love question but i hope you can help anyway. My friend *harry is being framed by this girl i used to be friends with *ellie. according to ellie, harry asked her for a topless photo of her over msn. she's told the police a...
A. 2 December 2009: Well first of all we need some more detail here before we can help:
1. Have the police got any evidence i.e. have they taken Harry's computer and found the topless picture on his computer?
2. What are the police charging him with?
3. How old... (read in full...)
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