A
female
age
26-29,
*andyCurves
writes:I have just been tagged on Facebook in a picture that goes back a few years back where I was a "tomboy". And in someways its kind of knocked my confidence.I dont look like that anymore, since I have changed alot. But looking back at an actual image of what I used to be makes me feel really embarrassed.I have spent a very long time changing that image of me, physically and mentally but it all seems to come back instantly. The picture seems to trigger all those negative emotions I had back then and right now, I feel unhappy.I know I will never be that "girly" girl that every guy will fancy but how do I feel atleast feminine? Thanks!-CC
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 March 2010):
 De-tag the photo and never look at it again! that is one way around it!
But in all seriousness, stop trying to be something you are not. If you are a bit of a tomboy then embrace it, there is nothing wrong with being a little bit masculine.
You are always going to feel unhappy on the inside if on the outside you are not comfortable with the way you look and dont feel like the real "you".
Not all men like "girly" girls. That is a fact I promise! Every guy is different, with different tastes. I know a lot of guys think girly girls are high maintenance and hard work, they dont want a girl that cries each time she breaks a nail and cannot go outside in the wind because her hair might get messy, or her make-up might smudge. Most guys I know like their girls to be down to earth, easy to talk to and fun. So being a bit like a boy actually helps, because it means you have more in common and they find it easier to relate to you.
What you need to do is find your own style, embrace your body the way it is and learn how to make the most of yourself. What is most attractive to any guy, more than the way you look, is confidence. If a girl loves herself for who she is, and is comfortable in her own skin then this is so much more attractive than some girl who is stuffed into a dress with her hair curled looking like she doesnt know who she is.
So start dressing how you like dressing, not how you think you should dress. Do the sports and activities you enjoy, just be yourself and be happy that you are a different and interesting individual. No guy wants a girl whose only interest is the latest shade of lipgloss - a girl that likes football, Formula 1, cars.....that is a major bonus for a guy!
You are still very young and your body is still developing, so it will be hard to know what suits you and what your style is. This will come with time, I promise. But for now, wear the clothes you like, do the activities you like, wear your hair however you like and only wear make-up if you want to. Be proud to be different, after all, being unique is so much more interesting than being a clone of everyone else.
Google this "androgynous fashion" if you are struggling with clothes and the way you want to look. This style is very big in fashion at the moment and looks fantastic on lots of girls, and there are tons of clothes in this style out on the high street. So it means you can embrace the boy within while still looking stylish!
Dont worry too much about this picture or about how it makes you feel - everyone cringes at old photos and our fashion mistakes, we all have photos we dont like and feel embarrassed by. But they dont matter, it is just a part of our past, there is nothing we can do to change it so you need to accept that was who you were back then - and there is nothing wrong with that. Never be ashamed of who you are - we all go through different phases and styles so that was just one phase in your past, it doesnt matter at all. Never feel embarrassed about the way you looked back then, you were just a child I bet and after all, your past makes you who you are today, and I bet you are a lovely girl now so be proud of your past and just accept it has made you a better person today.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, nottelling  +, writes (24 March 2010):
I reciently had the same problem. If you just try to forget about the past and relize that its not who you were then, but who you are now that matters, than you will feel more confident.
You could also strieghten or curl your hair and try to prevent wearing your hair up unless you are wearing a girly head band with it. Try to wear more skirts and pretty colors. also you may want to consiter wearing a tiny bit of makeup and wear some girlly shoes.
The last step is just trying to act girly and try to flirt with some guys. Most of it is just acting girlly and thinking that you are pretty now and that you were before to.
its not a bad thing to be a tomboy only change if YOU want to. dont change to fit in. im sure you can find a medium in the middle somewere.
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