A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I have had a shit time recently - I have been with my boyfriend or I should say ex-boyfriend now for just over 3 years. It was my first serious relationship as I am 19 now. I recently found out he has been stringing me along. He was a litte bit older than me, he is 24 now. I went through hell fighting for our relationship as my parents didn't approve due to the age gap and now I have just found out he has someone else as well - a woman he has been with since he was 17 himself! I have now left him even though he insisted it was me he wanted. I am struggling to deal with the break up he was my life and I felt incredibly secure and actually happy with him. Of course now I feel like a royal idiot and its so hard when he continues to pursue me and the relationship. However I am at Uni (away from home) and I think in time this will actually help me to deal with this (especially being around people my own age too).My actual more serious problem at the moment is - how many flings could he have had whilst with me (he is capable of leading two women on what else has he done?)I immediately had a chlamydia test and the results came back all clear - my question is would the test have found anything else and should I have anymore tests or am I clear of all of them? It said in the leaflet 'if anything else comes up we will inform you'. I am quite a proud person and to go to a clinic really worries me (sorry if that sounds snobby!)Also any advice on how to deal with the break-up would be great thanks for the taking the time to read this as well. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to say thankyou for taking the time to answer my question. I am going to the phone shop today to get a block for him on my phone - I woke up this morning to 18 missed calls, answer phone messages and 7 text messages! I just don't understand why he wont let go when he has her? He will not let me go maybe its the control he misses I don't know.
I have also arranged an appointment with mt GP. Hopefully I will only have to treat the mental upset he has left behind.
Thankyou very much and I just hope time is the great healer that everyone says it is.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (21 March 2010):
 There is no way of knowing how many other women he could have been with while you were together, and you are right to think that he is capable of all sorts if he could maintain 2 relationships at the same time. But you have split up now, so there is no point in thinking about those sorts of things otherwise you will just end up tormenting yourself with these thoughts.
The relationship is over, and he is an absolute jerk that is definitely not worth your time! Dont waste any more of your time thinking about him - what he did was bad enough so there is no need to worry about what else he did.
As for the STD's - if you just did the "pee in a pot" type of chlamydia test then that will only mean you are free from Chlamydia and Gonorrhea (they test for both at the same time). It however does not mean that you are clear of ALL STD's - like Vaginitis, Syphilis, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), Herpes, Genital Warts, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C Virus (HCV) & HIV/Aids. You need to visit a clinic and get the full test for everything just to be safe.
While it is embarrassing to be sat there in the waiting room (I"ve been there before!) no amount of pride should get in the way of your health. How would you feel in a few months time when you start getting symptoms of a STD and then it is much harder to treat, just because you were too proud to go to get tested? Use the NHS website to search for your local sexual health clinic or go to your GP, and make sure you do it soon!
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
