A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a feeling this is going to get pretty long so apologies in advance and thanks in advance to anybody who manages to get through it all. I left school in '08. My last year of school I had a new teacher. She was nice enough, always late, set a lot of homework, really didn't think anything about her beyond that, she was just another teacher. Then early last year she shows up at a photography club I go to and we got talking. She was surprisingly easy to talk to and we started hanging out sometimes, mainly taking photographs together. I guess we counted as friends. A few months later, she asked me out. I've been seeing her a couple of times a week for about six months now and it's great. We have a lot in common and get on really well. Problem is, she thinks it's about time we started taking our relationship a bit more seriously and being more 'official' as it is. Mixing with each other's friends and meeting family and things like that. I don't want that. I'm happy to just enjoy spending time with her without bringing our friends and family into our relationship. I like her a lot but there's a 12 year age gap and she has nieces and nephews who're only slightly younger than me. A lot of her friends are teachers, some of them taught me, I'm training to be an electrician: we have very different social circles. Am I in the wrong to not want to go more public? We don't hide our relationship but we haven't made a conscious effort to tell people we're together. I know there are no hard rules but how long do you think you should really be with somebody before meeting family and friends? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Well generally I think if you really like someone and want a real relationship with them then you will meet friends and family after a month or so. It will be different for everyone but to have not met any friends or family after 6 months is quite strange.
I think you dont want a serious relationship with this woman I'm afraid - you dont want her to meet the important people in your life therefore you cannot think that she is important enough to meet these people. I know with my boyfriend I couldnt wait for him to meet my friends and family because I wanted to show him off and finally let everyone meet the man I had been talking about so much.
You might want to ask yourself why you dont want to tell people you are together and why you dont want her to meet everyone - there will be a reason for this so really you should figure it out before you lead your partner on anymore and end up hurting her. It seems to me like she is taking the relationship more seriously than you are, and she probably has stronger feelings for you than you do for her.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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