A
female
age
26-29,
*xlilvprincessxx
writes:I love my teacher so much. The other day I found out that he has moved in with his girlfriend I didn't think that this would affect me but it did .I can't stop thinking about him should I tell him how I feel?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): You have a crush on a teacher who you admire and have admiration for. This is pretty common in your age group to have a crush. Crushes are a "safe" relationship, where you can fantasize about what it would be like to have intense feelings for someone and have them returned.
I can tell you that in REAL love relationships, the INTENSITY of feeling is never as strong as what you feel when you have a crush.
It is definately a type of insanity. That said, you are not crazy, just get ahold of yourself and realize that you are too young to actually be in a relationship with your teacher, he doesn't return your feelings and you should accept that he is not for you and is in a different phase of his life than you are.
Just focus your attention on something else, talk to your Mom about this and you will be just fine....
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 Don't make it an obsession.I think you should tell your mom about this problem.She may take you to see a therapist or a counselor.
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female
reader, xxlilvprincessxx +, writes (30 March 2010):
xxlilvprincessxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe feelings just keep getting stronger I cant stop thinking about him I don't know what to do . I've liked this teacher for over two years y am I feeling like this ? Don't get me wrong it's amazing and it's such a warm feeling but it really hurts when I'm not with him I have no clue what to do now .
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female
reader, nlieu279  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 You are still young. Your emotion for him probably just a crush. You still have a long way ahead of you in term of future. On this road, you might find someone else better and love you. I think it is best to keep your crush for your teacher in your heart. Treasure it, if you want but don't tell him. A lot of thing can go wrong if you tell him, did you ever think of them? Such as he might be fired if someone else find out; his gf might break up with him...
Think twice before you decide anything. Don't break your heart @ this young age or you will hate love later on in life. Save your heart for someone who actually love you for the rest of your life.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (18 March 2010):
I am sorry if your teachers are not allowed to go to your house in your country. I will retract that statement.
In my country, after school hours ,it is no more the domain of the school. The teachers are free to do anything they want.
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A
female
reader, Bloody_Mary +, writes (17 March 2010):
 They are not allowed! You are absolutely right! He might get in trouble for being non-professional, nothing to do with abuse. A friend of mine (teacher like me) was scolded by the principal because she went to see her favorite student.
The girl had severe pneumonia.
Apparently, not good enough reason, he told her "You should've sent a card to the girl, socializing with students is inappropriate." I know that in the States the student-teacher are more liberal than here in Europe, but I still think it might be considered "too close"... And given your feelings, don't even try to invite him.
You say you love him, then think about his career and future. I know this is not the advice you *want* to hear, but I believe you *need* to hear it :(
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female
reader, xxlilvprincessxx +, writes (17 March 2010):
xxlilvprincessxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't think teachers are allowed to go to students houses?
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female
reader, xxlilvprincessxx +, writes (17 March 2010):
xxlilvprincessxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want him to know I don't want any thing to happen apart from him knowing that I love him. Although now you have said that I think I'm not going to tell him and just hope that my feelings fade. Thanks for the advice it's really helped.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (17 March 2010):
If you love your teacher , you don't have to say those words. You can be nice to him and treat him well. Study hard and listen attentively and score high marks in his tests.
During teacher's day, you can send him a very special card or you can invite him over to your house on occasions like your birthday party.
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female
reader, xxlilvprincessxx +, writes (17 March 2010):
xxlilvprincessxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want him to know I don't want any thing
to happen apart from him knowing that I love him.
Although now you have said that I think I'm not going to tell him and just hope that my feelings fade. Thanks for the advice it's really helped.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 March 2010):
 If you do tell him then he will never come near you again, I promise you that! A declaration of your love for him would really scare him, and if he is a good teacher then he will go straight to the head teacher of the school and tell him/her what you have said. Do you really want all the teachers in the school knowing that you love your teacher? Do you really want to be called into the headmaster's office to have a talk about this? Do you really want to be refferred to the school's counsellor or therapist?
Schools take these matters very seriosuly, your teacher could get into a lot of trouble if he is even suspected of having a relationship with you so he will have no doubts about reporting your behaviour to his seniors - he is not going to want to lose his job over some little girl who has a crush on him! So he will tell someone, I promise you that. So then you will have to go through all sorts of talks with a variety of different people, to see why you are developing affections for older men rather than boys your own age. They will think you are having problems at home, that your parents dont show you enough love, that you have relationship problems, that your emotional development is not progressing properly.....does all this sound fun to you? They will probably have to tell your parents too.
So all in all that is about the worst that can happen, and yes it WILL happen. This is not worst case scenario - this is what will happen to you if you tell your teacher how you feel. They have procedures for dealing with situations like this, and you will have to gop through all of it before they think you are "normal" again.
DONT TELL HIM! I cant stress that enough! While you think nothing bad will happen, nothing good will happen either! What do you hope to acheive by telling him? Why do you want him to know you love him? Telling him will only freak him out, it wont do anyone any favours.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (16 March 2010):
Your intentions maybe good but your actions could destroy his career and ruin him.He not only cannot teach you , he would be banned forever from teaching.
If the story comes out that he is in love with a student, whether it is true or not, his reputation will be tainted and he will have to carry the stigma for life.
What about his g/f? She will be devastated. Do you want to destroy 2 life's?
If you love him , do you want to see the teacher ruined?
Even if you tell him that you love him till hell freezes over, he is not in your league. I am sorry if you find it harsh.
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female
reader, Bloody_Mary +, writes (15 March 2010):
I am a teacher, and I say no! It would terrify me to get such a confession of a student of mine! You really love him, you say? Well, you would not want him to rot in prison, would you? Also, age gap or not: never mess with other people's partners: it's slutty and bad karma.
Good luck finding a boy your age :)
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female
reader, xxlilvprincessxx +, writes (15 March 2010):
xxlilvprincessxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease help me I really want to tell Him I mean what's the worst that can happen he doesn't teach me any more and it's not like I want anything thing to happen all i want to do is to let him know that I actually love him. he already knows that I like him but he doesn't know how strong my feelings actually are .
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 March 2010):
No. This is a crush.
1 - He has a girlfriend
2 - You're underage and it would be totally illegal. He would go to jail, you would be expelled and you would look bad.
Sorry, but this is something that will never happen. Enjoy your crush, but say nothing.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (15 March 2010):
Keep this secret to yourself and never let the cat out of the bag.
Can you imagine what would happen if you were to tell him ?
If the news gets out , your teacher may be reprimanded or in the worst scenario, be investigated and suspended from teaching.
I am sure you do not want that to happen to him.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (15 March 2010):
No. This is just a simple crush and you will get over it in time. He doesnt love you, and will never share the same feeligngs for you, so there is no point in saying anything to him otherwise he will have to report you to the head of the school so they can keep an eye on you.
He would lose his job if he had a relationship with you, plus he has just moved in with his girlfriend therefore there is no future for you. You cannot be together, and he doesnt want to be with you either. So just put this down as a crush and find a boy your own age.
Many girls and boys go through this phase where they like their teachers, it is asked all the time on this site. But they always grow out of it and get over it in time, so just be patient and give yourself time to get over your crush.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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