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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Are women dating guys for money? To look good?
Q. hey ! im just wondering are women all the same ? heres my story ive dated this girl for about a year . im not the richest person don't make the best wages . the ex was a big spender loved to eat out fancy places , designer clothes , bags, ...
A. 3 June 2010: I think you have just met the wrong women!
I personally will happily admit I love money, it is important to me and I dont think I could be in a relationship with someone who was struggling financially. I have my life which I love and I want to ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex?
Q. Recently i contacted my ex boyfriend. I wanted answer to why he had hurt me in the past. We had a relationship that started off great and then suddnely one day he just turnd and was horrible to me, he left me at a party with loads of people ...
A. 3 June 2010: This doesnt make too much sense to be honest!
You say you want to find out why he hurt you in the past - yet you were the one that cheated on him with this best friend? Seems like you were the one that hurt him! All he did that was wrong was leav... (read in full...)
She wants to wait to have sex! How do I change her mind?
Q. So I have been going out with my girlfriend for 8 months now. I ask her if she wants to have sex and her reply is "I think I want to wait". How can I change her reply to a "Yes!"?...
A. 2 June 2010: You cant change her mind and if you really love her and care about her you will respect her decision. If you force her into sex when she is not ready this is pretty much rape - now you dont want that now do you?
I understand you are a teenage ... (read in full...)
Ex may have non-consentual indecent photos of me.
Q. Hi. My problem is this. I was with my ex for 7 years. Last April he left to be with someone else. Now he wants me to sell the house to give him money. Things have gotten a bit nasty but the other day he e-mailed me to say he had 'found' his old ...
A. 1 June 2010: Well at the moment it seems like he is trying to provoke a response from you and it appears to be working. Here you are, very worried about what he might have done without your consent and all the while he is at home laughing knowing you are ... (read in full...)
I have a hard time cumming when having sex, is something wrong with me?
Q. I have a hard time cuming when having sex, is something wrong with me? My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while now and it's getting harder to cum. When we first started it took a while, but now he cums twice before I cum at all. It's not ...
A. 1 June 2010: I really dont understand your question! You say you can Orgasm but you cant "cum" - what do you mean by 'Cum'? Generally for a woman saying you have cum is the same thing as saying you have had an orgasm! Are you talking about squirting here?
... (read in full...)
I just stopped taking the pill. How long should it take for me to get pregnant?
Q. Hi im 23yrs old and have just stopped my pill on the 3rd last day of my period, i want to have a baby... i want to know how long it should take for me to get pregnant.? Also i fell pregnant about a yr and half ago but had it aborted,... i a...
A. 30 May 2010: Doctors advise that it can take up to 6 months for the pill to be totally out of your system, so you should expect for the first 6 months for not a lot to happen, and then if something does happen it will be a nice surprise. As for after those 6 ... (read in full...)
He's still married, but I'm in love with him, should I be his girlfriend?
Q. please no criticism, I'm asking for advice.... this guy and i are coworkers hes 27 I'm 20. my schedule changed to one that is similar to his so i drove him home from work and stuff for a while. last summer, he just randomly started kissing me. we k...
A. 27 May 2010: Look this is so typical of cheating men - they will never leave their wives for the mistress! Yes they are both cheating but if they have not split up then clearly something is keeping them together, I mean they live together so are happy enough ... (read in full...)
I lied and told my mom I wouldn't have sex anymore but now I might be pregnant!
Q. hi..ima start off by saying im 15. i had a bf for a lil more than a year now. my mom found out we had sex and she was upsett. she told me that we shoulldnt anymore, but i did. i felt bad for lying to her and i dont wanna lose her trust. well ...
A. 26 May 2010: Look all you can do is take the pregnancy test and hope for the best. The problem is that when you are an underage teenager like yourself, you think you can do what you want and dont think of the consequences. But you cannot act like this when you ... (read in full...)
I want to teach at my high school some day, would it be okay to date a fellow teacher then?
Q. So I was just looking for some opinions on this one: This year, I developed a tiny bit of a crush on a teacher, I realize this is nothing to act on right now, but I'm not the type that gets a crush that often, I'm 15 and this is only my second c...
A. 26 May 2010: Well when you are an adult you can date whoever you want - so say you do become a teacher and after finishing your studies you teach at that school, and this man in question still works there, then theoretically there is no problem in dating him.
... (read in full...)
Is the height difference between my boyfriend and me normal?
Q. Hi friends! I need your advice.I'm 17, my height is 153cm. It has always bothered me. I do not know, tell me, please, is it too short? My boyfriend is 179cm. Is the height difference between us normal?...
A. 26 May 2010: Yes it is normal. You can date anyone you want regardless of your height. If he loves you, and you love him, and you are happy then your height difference is irelevant.
I personally have always had a thing for tall guys despite being short my... (read in full...)
My current bf called his ex "My Whore" Is this something to be alarmed about?
Q. Okay, so maybe I'm over reacting and being stupid idk. Perhaps even worrying too much but... I decided to ask for other people's opinion. I've been in a 5 to 6 months relationship with my bf/fiance whom when i met had broke up with his ex gf/ex ...
A. 26 May 2010: I would be more worried that he was engaged to his ex, and now you two are engaged after only 5-6 months! When you propose to someone you are saying that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, that you will love them forever and ... (read in full...)
How can I pursue my online girlfriend in real life, without scaring her off?
Q. i am 40 yrs old and found a woman 35 yrs old online that is absolutely gorgeous and a wonderful personality to boot. We have shared pictures and personal information about ourselves and communicate really well. We have made out on IM and it was ...
A. 25 May 2010: I think all you can do is be honest with her - you obviously like her and dont want to mess her around so tell her that. There is not a lot you can do to make her more trusting of men apart from give her time, and show her in your chats and in your ... (read in full...)
My husband's family are putting me in a cage!
Q. My husband is in afganistan doing a dangerous job ! and ever since he has gone he and his family have put me on lock down, I cant go out for a drink with my neighbor, im not alowed to go and see my old best mate because shes a bad influenc...
A. 20 May 2010: I cant quite tell if you live with his mum or not but assuming you dont live with the family then this is what I think you should do:
Tell his mum that you love her son very much, you are his wife and want to spend the rest of your life with him... (read in full...)
Hair Dilemma
Q. my boyfriends mum really wants her to do her hair for a wedding she has soon. she has short white blonde hair with no apparent fringe. she said she would like her hair up and curly. im not good with hair and i have no idea what style to do and what ...
A. 19 May 2010: If you are no good at hair then it might be best to be honest with your boyfriend's mum and tell her that you are not great with hair - honesty is better than trying to do her hair and making a mess of things, then she will be really unhappy at the ... (read in full...)
I haven't just lost a g/f, I've lost my whole world
Q. Ok, me and my girlfriend have been together 2 years and 2 months.. 3-4 of those were together, inseperable, and the rest of the time we've been long distace. which of course hasn't been easy, i don't like my time at uni at all and it reflects on m...
A. 18 May 2010: To be honest it sounds like she is going through a phase that a lot of girls (including me) go through when they first go to uni, and the outcome is rarely good I'm afraid. When you go to uni you finally have your own freedom to become who you want ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into this? Is there a chance he could love me too?
Q. erm... well what can i say i've fallen in love with a memeber of staff in my school... he's a classroom assistant, great personality, good looking, kind-hearted, respectful... basically my kind of perfect, but i cant have him, he's engaged i feel so ...
A. 18 May 2010: I'm sorry but no he does not love you, he does not want a relationship with you - he is just being friendly. If he does start to take things further by touching you, or overly flirting with you then please report him to a senior teacher - he should ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to eat so much when I'm pregnant or only when I'm hungry.
Q. Hi first of all I would like to say thank you to all who respond to my question =) Ok so I'm 20 years and I'm currently pregnant with my first child. I'm 37 weeks in like two days) My doctor told me that I could have the baby any time between now ...
A. 18 May 2010: All a baby needs each day is what you eat normally, plus around half a sandwhich (as in a sandwhich made with 2 slices of normal bread from a loaf) extra. So really eating half a sandwich a day extra is not that much is it?!
I'm sure your baby wil... (read in full...)
I've been trying to get thinner in time for summer but I seem to be getting fatter! What is going on?
Q. my friends say im skinny... but i dont think i am. im going to kennywood is june with a guy im practicly in love with and i want to loose weight. for the past three weeks ive been throwing up and starving myself. i know thats not the way to go...
A. 18 May 2010: By the sounds of things you are displaying symptoms of bullimia, body dysmorphia and low self esteem.
You cannot deal with this alone, and if you let this continue any longer it will only get worse and the bullimia could end up killing you. Go ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might be pregnant and my boyfriend could go to jail for having sex with me!
Q. Im a 14 yr old girl and i recently had sex with my boyfriend who is 19. I have a feeling im pregnant because im suddenly having weird feelings, i dont know if im just over reacting. Im not sure what to do because my parents have said they would kick ...
A. 18 May 2010: Well how long ago did you have unprotected sex? Have you missed a period?
If it has been around 4 weeks since you had sex and you have missed a period then you need to take a pregnancy test. This will decide one way or another if you are pregnant... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby with my boyfriend? I'm scared of being sick!
Q. Right me and my boyfriend have been together 1 1/2 years now.. his 22 and am 19 we have just come of a break but he is saying he wants us to have a baby.. i dont no how to feel about this as i have a phobia of being sick and morning sickness really ...
A. 17 May 2010: How can you have a "break" when you live together? To be honest if your boyfriend needs a break despite you living together in a seemingly adult relationship - then he is not mature enough to be a dad and you need to be the sensible one here and not ... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby with my boyfriend? I'm scared of being sick!
Q. Right me and my boyfriend have been together 1 1/2 years now.. his 22 and am 19 we have just come of a break but he is saying he wants us to have a baby.. i dont no how to feel about this as i have a phobia of being sick and morning sickness really ...
A. 17 May 2010: Your fear of being sick should have nothing to do with this decision! You have just broken up and have got back together - surely this is a major sign that your relationship is not stable at the moment hence it would be a terrible idea to have a ... (read in full...)
Places to meet quality women
Q. Hey im newly single just broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months a few weeks ago and i needed some advice. Im 23, and a recent college grad. My girlfriend was a great person but i just wasnt ready for a serious relationship, she is a few years ...
A. 17 May 2010: You have only broken up with your ex a few weeks ago, you dont want a serious relationship.....so why do you want another girlfriend?!
Seriously - when women start dating generally they are looking for it to turn into something serious, so if yo... (read in full...)
Will I be able to meet a future girlfriend without relying on my work/occupation to find her?
Q. I'm 22 at university and I'm currently doing a masters in Civil Engineering. I've had 2 girlfriends before and after my last one I decided to concentrate on my exams and wait until I start working (after I've done a bit of travelling). ALthough...
A. 14 May 2010: Of course there will be plenty of girls you can meet outside of work - as long as you put yourself out there.
Just a few examples for you:
1. You can always do the typical meet girls in clubs/bars - doesnt always work and can be a bit seedy bu... (read in full...)
The Ever-So Taboo "Student to Teacher" Crush.
Q. It’s 3rd period Science class, when all of a sudden your teacher walks in the room. Your heart races and his perfect smile, a smile you just have to return. His laugh fills the room, joking with students around him, par usual. You don’t just see him ...
A. 12 May 2010: Well my point was to try and talk about the things you didnt mention in your post as opposed to the controversies you talk about, as I stated I dont think age has much to do with it, plus I tried to show a different opinion to yours.
I had hope... (read in full...)
The Ever-So Taboo "Student to Teacher" Crush.
Q. It’s 3rd period Science class, when all of a sudden your teacher walks in the room. Your heart races and his perfect smile, a smile you just have to return. His laugh fills the room, joking with students around him, par usual. You don’t just see him ...
A. 12 May 2010: Well my problem here is that, aged 14 you claim to know what love is. And this is why adults will always call student/teacher relationships a "crush" because what you feel for the teacher is not love. Now I am not trying to be rude, or offensive ... (read in full...)
I hate my miserable life?
Q. I'm 14 years old, and in the 8th, soon to be 9th grade. From kindergarten to 6th grade I hanged out with the loser click, but then I got 2 7th grade and started hanging out with more popular ppl. The thing is, all the years b4 in my life, left me ...
A. 12 May 2010: Most teenagers go through this phase in life so dont feel like you are the only one - there are plenty of others that feel the way you do I promise!
Ok to deal with your problems one by one:
1. Social skills. Not many teenagers are great with s... (read in full...)
Am I still covered by the morning after pill that I took in the morning?
Q. I took the aftermorning pill yesturday and had unprotected sex again on the night time, will that pill still cover me or will i have to go for another one?...
A. 12 May 2010: I am really trying my best not to be nasty here but you dont even know the name of the pill you took! It is the "morning after pill" not whatever you tried to call it!
By the sounds of things you really should NOT be having sex - you cant spell, y... (read in full...)
What are the hints that a teacher might like you?
Q. just wondering what are hints that a teacher might like you in that way i shouldn't worry about this but i really want to know just curious ?...
A. 12 May 2010: There are no hints - being a teacher is a career, and if a teacher behaves innapropriately towards a child then he or she will lose their job, simple as that.
However if a teacher is flirting with you, say touching you frequently, giving you spei... (read in full...)
How do I ask him, who that blonde girl was in his car?
Q. Hello, I'm in my 20s and not really had that much experience with guys and have slept with only 3 men. Anyway ive been on-off, seeing this guy who the other week said he sees me as a good friend. He's 10 years older then me. Anyways, we first...
A. 11 May 2010: Ok sorry but this doesnt make sense! One minute you are wanting to know who the blonde was in his car, the next you ssay you just want to be friends? Well if you are friends and want nothing more from him then why do you care? Unless you want to ... (read in full...)
My teacher won't mark my work!! What should I do?
Q. I did all my work. I went to hand it in and my teacher opened the door she said no. She then shut the door in my face. What am I gonna do?? if she doesnt mark it I've failed:(2 years in college(not university):( I dont know what I have done...
A. 11 May 2010: Well if this is the case you need to go to someone senior and tell them what has happened! There must be an equivalent of a head teacher (like you had at school) in your college - make an appointment to see him asap. If you have tried to hand your ... (read in full...)
Any way to make my very noticeable assets less visible?
Q. I am only 14 years old and i have 34 DD boobs, they are the biggest in my year, i used to like them but now in the summer when i want to wear vest tops they look huge and they are really pert and they just sit their..my friends are jelous but i am ...
A. 11 May 2010: Try not to worry too much hun, I know how you feel and I promise it gets better! When I was your age I was a 34D and remained that way until I put on a bit of weight recently and they got bigger so I am now 34DD!
You will be pleased to know min... (read in full...)
Should you pursue the girl you like or let someone else pursue her?
Q. A question for the guys out there (girls are welcome to answer) If you pursue a girl you like, probably a few people will be hurt. If you let someone pursue the girl you like, only you will be hurt. So. To pursue or not to pursue? ...
A. 11 May 2010: I agree with Caring Guy - if this girl is a good friend to your ex then she would not go anywhere near you!
Its up to you what you want to do in this situation - you could tell her how you feel and see what she has to say, but be prepared... (read in full...)
Is he worth the wait even though he is already in a relationship?
Q. Okay, I was talking to a guy at a party and we were getting along really well and it got to a point where we were both really drunk, we kissed and got a little playful, (nothing dodgey, just play fighting) and someone walked past and we stopped ...
A. 10 May 2010: He's so sweet and nice is he that he leads other girls on, fools around with other girls all when he has a girlfriend? Sounds like a player to me!
No he is not worth the wait, this kind of behaviour is classic of a guy who is in a relation... (read in full...)
Should you pursue the girl you like or let someone else pursue her?
Q. A question for the guys out there (girls are welcome to answer) If you pursue a girl you like, probably a few people will be hurt. If you let someone pursue the girl you like, only you will be hurt. So. To pursue or not to pursue? ...
A. 10 May 2010: Maybe you could explain why if you pursue the girl you like, a few people will get hurt? That makes no sense to me at the moment!
I mean if the girl is single, and you are single - then no-one will get hurt (aside from you if she rejects you mayb... (read in full...)
Irrational thoughts about my girlfriend regarding - relationship, religion, attraction
Q. Hi i have a girlfriend who i know deep down i love but as of late i have been having irrational thoughts racing around in my head about my feelings about certain aspects of our relationship. To start off she is from a super religious background, her ...
A. 10 May 2010: Well only time will tell on this one I'm afraid - we cannot sit here and try to speculate what type of mother she will be or how she will want to raise her kids.
So what you need to do is quite simple - talk to her! Tell her that you have a f... (read in full...)
I think I need therapy, but I don't know where to start...
Q. I'l try and keep this short. My friends have advised me to seek therapy, but i am not sure what to type to seek and if there are other ways in which to help me. Basically, since the age of around 17 I have been getting increasingly obs...
A. 10 May 2010: By the sounds of things you are displaying symptoms of bullimia, body dysmorphia and low self esteem (which then causes you to take it out on your boyfriend when there are other attractive women present).
You cannot deal with this alone, and if y... (read in full...)
Mother accusing me of having sex! Should I just have it since she thinks I am anyways?
Q. Well I'm 15 years old and my mother continues to accuse me of having sex. She is really paranoid because she had me at such a young age. The more she accuses me, the more I feel like I should just do it because she thinks I'm doing it. I really just ...
A. 7 May 2010: I think first of all you need to sit down and have a talk with your mum - you sound very mature so I'm sure if you sit down and talk face to face with her she will listen, and appreciate you coming to her.
Be honest and tell her yes you have tho... (read in full...)
Left me to go back to his baby mama, will he come back?
Q. I have just been seeing someone and he has just left me to go back to his ex girlfreind who has just giving birth to his child he said he loves me know i feel like my whole life is runined and i just want to know if he will ever come back to me he ...
A. 7 May 2010: I'm pretty certain the answer is no I'm afraid, he has done the right thing and is going to try and make things work with his ex so they can be a family. He has a child so he has an obligation to be part of the child's life, and if he can make ... (read in full...)
Why do I get hit on by elderly men?
Q. why do i get hit on by ederly men more than anyone else? And why are they so forward? i actually had a 70ish year old man say "hey little miss sexy, if i drop a quarter will you bend down and pick it up?" and i was wearing a halter top the oth...
A. 6 May 2010: Now I'm not sure what your body type is like but based on my experiences (I tend to get all the old men attracted to me and none of the young ones!) it is because I have a curvy, hourglass shape where I have hips, boobs and a narrow waist. I work ... (read in full...)
How do I stop believing that everyone in the world is against me?
Q. For years, I have wondered if everyone is part of a conspiracy to give me a bad life. Now, I don't think that way very often. But occasioanlly, I wonder if I am being persecuted by the female race. I have thought in the past that the world owed ...
A. 5 May 2010: This is not something you can overcome alone, you need to seek professional help. This sounds to me like paranoid schizophrenia and you really must go to a doctor to get help for this. I know it will be scary but you can live a normal life with ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant after a drunken fumble in a toilet?
Q. Could I be pregnant or am I being stupid I AM NOT ON THE PILL OF ANY FORM OF CONTRACEPTION I am normally a very sensible person but I was out on friday night and my best friend got me very very drunk, I was dancing with this really nice gu...
A. 4 May 2010: No you wont be pregnant from this - sperm cannot make their way to your vagina through clothing. The chances are if you felt "wet" down below that was all you, when you are sexually aroused your vagina lubricates itself hence why you feel "wet".
... (read in full...)
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