A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I lost my virginity a bit later than most and have been with that boy ever since which is four years. I can see myself marrying him one day but I have one problem. He's slept with other girls before me and I feel a bit weird thinking I could marry him and never sleep with someone else. I would never cheat. But will this feeling go away? It's just something I think about intermittently. Like I've somehow missed out on that experience. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a massive list but just one other would have made me less weirded out by this.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 No you have not missed out. People think they need all this sexual experience, with multiple people, that's not true. Let me put it this way... I have a penis and I assume your boyfriend does as well? (or their may be other questions you need to be asking) So if you came over and rode mine... isn't that the same act that you can, and should be doing with the one you want to be with? When you think you need to just go out and have sex to gain experience, then sex becomes meaningless to you. You could also end up emotionally regretting spreading your legs for someone who you really don't want to be with... just for sex.
A
female
reader, Echo85 +, writes (26 March 2012):
 I'm getting married next year to my fiznce who i've been with for 5 years. He was my first, and I feel so lucky not to have had to go through all the heartache to find 'the one', 'cos he was right there straight away.
He feels so amazed that he was my first.
It's up to you, but you may go sow your wild oats and then want what you once had. Are you willing to give such a good thing up?
Whatever you decide, Good luck.
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Why give up a good thing?
My boyfriend has had past partners too. I was a virgin when I met him. I hope to marry him one day. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I feel so lucky/blessed to not have had the need to kiss a bunch of frogs before I found my prince!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 March 2012):
 Should not be a problem, but example: My ex-wife was fairly inexperienced when we married in 1978, As I recall, she had been with one man, her first husband, and I think one other. I had been very sexually active for years. She occasionally lamented her lack of prior experience, but I cherished it. Why would I ever want to marry a woman who had been with many men? Eventually, after about 20 years, I think her interest in variety probably contributed to our split, but she later wanted to reconcile. That did not happen. My conclusion is that too many sex partners does not contribute to a happy marriage.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 March 2012):
 I have a list. While I don't regret my experimenting I could think of many positive things about having only one man in your life. If you are happy in your sexual life you should definitely stick with him. The feeling of the grass being greener on the other side won't go away. It is nature helping you decide which genes would be the best for your body. Me having a list means that I would do a lot of comparing and having unrealistic expectations on my men such as my last could do this but the current one won't. As long as you have open honest communications that is all matters. More is not always better.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 March 2012):
 I think you have been very lucky.
Imagine going shopping and finding, in the first shoe shop you visit , THE perfect pair of shoes, perfect for you at least : right size, right fit, right price and they look great on your feet. Would you feel you have missed out by not spending all day dragging yourself from a place to another, and tryng on dozen of pairs that , for some reason, are not quite good enough, while you became more and more disappointed and frustrated and tired ?...
You've found what's good for you at the very first try- it's a rare privilege, not a disadvantage.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (24 March 2012):
 If you REALLY want to do it and think this will haunt you for all your married life, go for it now. Better now than let it eat away at you during your marriage until you can hold out no longer and become unfaithful - and lose your husband.
I bet I get flamed for this!
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