A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, I have this little problem. About 6 months ago, I met a guy who I initially detested, in a science research station. He was gross to me, I hated everything about him, the way he looked, the things he was talking about, we had absolutely different opinions on pretty much everything and or priorities differed. After about 15 days together, we returned to our cities, which are about 250 miles apart.To make a long story short - now we're in a long distance relationship! During a certain period of time we spent together, we really got close and I ended up being madly, madly in love. He changed a lot, both physically and mentally, even I changed and now I'm happier than I ever was. But something bothers me, how could I fall in love with someone whom I hated at first? Is that even possible? That's not the only thing I'm wondering about. My biggest question is - how can this relationship function so well? I mean, I was never more in love than I am now. I feel like we're in an ideal relationship. We fight a bit, every now and then, but generally it's awesome. That scares me the most, because I'm always expecting something bad to happen, it's like I'm waiting for him to tell me that he doesn't like me anymore. How can I let go of these irrational fears?
View related questions:
long distance, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire  +, writes (7 January 2013):
 Opposites attract.I tend to find the more like you your partner is, the more likely you'll clash, i think it has something to do with variety possibly.Because a debate to me, is alot more satisfying than constantly hearing "Oh my god, ME TOO!" everytime you mention something thats of interest to you."how could I fall in love with someone whom I hated at first? Is that even possible?" - I thought my partner was a shallow moron that was so far up his own backside his head would pop back out of his neck, when i first met him. We're together for just over 2 years now (and counting). So yes, it's very possible :)It actually turned out that I had him all wrong, judging people to quickly is a trait I unfortunately possess, and you may also.To answer your question, nobody can predict the future of their relationship, its just about letting it take its natural course and enjoying every possible minute with the person you love, focus on the happiness that you're describing.You've overcome hate to form something beautiful, do this with your fears.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 January 2013):
 I think there is a bigger chance that you will tell him later you don't like him anymore. We have our own set of preferences. It is not a negative thing that you saw things you didn't like in him. He was all you had and you got close and attached to him over time. You can find the most opposite couples and they will be sweet at the beginning. As to whether the relationship will last you have to live together to find out. You will find out whether the differences drive you apart, or do opposites really attract. There are people who are flexible to let others influence the way they think, why others are stubborn and would never compromise. I don't think you are having irrational fears. Only time will tell if his good qualities will outweigh his strange quirks, and things that you find annoying in him. You work in a science research station together. For most people you have a lot in common already. At the same time you can say women and men have different brains and they think differently. Differences keep the relationship interesting. You do have to determine if they matter. Things like religion, money, children can't be compromised.
...............................
|
