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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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He is confusing me with his actions, what does this mean?
Q. Me and my ex split nearly 2 years ago. He had to move to another state hence the split. After the split i found out i was pregnant and had our baby. 4 months after this he got engaged to someone else. He was always in our babys life...
A. 29 October 2012: Saying he still loves you does not mean anything if he can't back it up with action. He probably said that just to get you to say you love him too, and that's why he didn't follow up with what you two should be doing. He probably broke off with his ... (read in full...)
Help!!! I'm so unhappy with myself... how can I pull myself out of this?
Q. I'm so unhappy with myself. I'm a terrible person and have lost all the people from my life because of it. i had a best friend from 13 years who did a lot for me and gave me eveything i wanted. i betrayed him and asked him to leave when he ...
A. 28 October 2012: What you need now is not partying and escaping from depression, you need to face this aloneness and make peace with it. You have to understand that negative emotions is a part of us. People have chosen to suppress it, stuff themselves with food, ... (read in full...)
Is she hinting to me that she wants a baby?
Q. Dear Cupid! I'm really needing some help here?! I met a lady back in February. She's a really, really nice lady. She's older than me. She's 39. I'm 34 in a few days. Anyway, it was one of those 'The minute we laid eyes upon one another we fe...
A. 28 October 2012: It's very hard to ask one straight up, do you want a baby with me? Since your relationship is still young, you will get hints, and you will drop hints, until you trust each other so well that you can finally have that serious talk. You don't sound ... (read in full...)
Confused - recent ex-girlfriend who I still love is sending very mixed messages. Help please!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts! :) My ex and I are both 24, she's 25 in November. My now ex-girlfriend of 2 years 5 months dumped me a week ago after a very unfortunate situation. I yelled at her whilst under immense stress, left her house, and didn't answer...
A. 28 October 2012: She is interested in someone else. She is keeping you there so that in case it doesn't work out with the other guy she has you and won't be alone in between.
"I love you with all my heart and could imagine spending the rest of my life with you"... (read in full...)
It's weird to think that it was only a week ago yesterday that I had really strong feelings for him and now, well they're gone!
Q. How is it my feelings for this guy disappeared so quickly! The guy who I had liked for two months and used to get butterflies in my stomach over, when we kissed i got that tingle feeling and i was in complete bliss whenever i was around him. He is ...
A. 28 October 2012: It's not weird, it's rational. This is what you have to stop you from developping relationships with teachers, married men, bosses. Some people lack this "stop" mechanism and go ahead with their enslaving passion, which is dangerous. It comes a time ... (read in full...)
I do love him... but do I love him enough to be with him again?
Q. I'm so depressed and have no zest for living anymore. I just feel so alone and stupid.... I'm 22 years old, and i recently broke up with my bf (28) after 2 and half years. My bf/ex was working in the states alone for the whole of our relationshi...
A. 28 October 2012: He is bad news to you. If you fought all the time long distance, the fights will be worse when you live close to each other. He will see the wrong in everything you do and say, and the only time he will be sweet is when he manipulates you to stay. ... (read in full...)
Help!!! How can you be in love with someone you have never seen???
Q. Hi I really need some advice. I have been talkin to a guy over the phone for 4 months. I know him since over a year since we used to Facebook chat regularly. I'm 18 and he is 25. Our families know each other very well and are practically fami...
A. 28 October 2012: Love is more than just talk. If he doesn't like his parents' tradition of arranged marriage, he can either accept that this is his fate, try to bring romance in the marriage, or he can work hard towards financial independence and move far away from ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my boyfriend and I'm worried that something happened!
Q. Yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday, I was so excited to see him so I could give him gifts and stuff. I know his schedule for the day, he had work from 12:00- 6:00. So, I texted him at 10 in the morning, figuring that if he wasn't awake by then, ...
A. 27 October 2012: What kind of relationship could you have if you don't feel comfortable driving to his house, and that as a girlfriend you can't be in his birthday party? I think he got drunk and had a bad hangover. You are embarrassed to ask about him because you ... (read in full...)
I got too clingy! How can I show him that the old me is back?
Q. please help ive made an awful mess of this. ok i have a good friend and during the summer we became close. hes been with a girl 5 years. she has a lot of issues which hes explained. she needs lots of space, goes out drinking with guys from work and...
A. 27 October 2012: Did he never break up with his girlfriend? He saw that you like him and could give him the attention that he lacks in his other relationship. After he saw the vulnerable in you he decided to stop because he didn't want to lead you on. His intent was ... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend really changed?
Q. I have had a rocky 8 months to say the least, with my first ever boyfriend and now i'm just wondering has he really changed? I first met my boyfriend when i went back to school after missing a year, i was sent to learning support ...
A. 27 October 2012: He says things to you and other girls when it suits him at the moment. I would not expect him to change all of a sudden. I would wonder for how long he could keep up being sober, honest and faithful. Your trust has disappeared and you will always ... (read in full...)
Do I stay and hope he can contain his love of gambling? Or do I go?
Q. me and boyfriend have been together a year, we now live together and i love him very much. i have a daughter from a previous relationship who he is great with. the problem is he likes to gamble, hes currently awaiting his date to join the army, s...
A. 25 October 2012: Have you actually talked to him why it bothers you so much? At the same time if you have to mention it he isn't a very understanding partner to being with. He wakes up all night gambling, which means he has no energy for you during the day ... (read in full...)
I am concerned for my Bi-polar Bf. Our last meeting was acrimonious. Should I go to see him or wait for him to make contact?
Q. I'm so upset. My boyfriend has bipolar disorder, and he gets really nasty sometimes when he has drunk alcohol. He had a few drinks today, even though he told me that he wasn't going to get drunk. He also told me that he wasn't going to see his...
A. 25 October 2012: He got nasty with you because he knows that his friends and his drinking habit are trash. He's also angry that his only pleasure and rewarding behavior is drinking and marijuana. You are disapproving his lifestyle, his only lifestyle that defines ... (read in full...)
I'm losing hope in the existence of true love. Does true love still exist in this modern world?
Q. Hey everyone, Well I am 23 years old now,but since I was 16 when I knew what 'love' was. I always believed that I would find true love and no I haven't till date.. I am a hopeless romantic,like literally 'hopeless'..I love reading nicholos spa...
A. 25 October 2012: People are still getting married every day. Reality is different from novels in the way that the happily ever after really means contentment, rather than butterfly feelings of infatuation every single day. In the novels, the story stops once the ... (read in full...)
How can I find a girl who will love me for who I am?
Q. Hello I am a very old reader and writer of this website and I love the people here doing this great work of helping each other and people like me. Here is my situation and I would be really grateful if someone can help me. I am originally a Pak...
A. 22 October 2012: It makes me sad that you did all you can but no success. One thing you can do is plastic surgery. Don't be hard on me for being blunt. I had plastic surgery. If I didn't, I am still confident someone wants to love me but it will take a much longer ... (read in full...)
My culture is uncompromising about virginity before marriage. BUT I am not a virgin. What can I do? I cannot tell him, as the shame is too much.
Q. hi..i had a relationship with an boy i was loved him deeply... Nearly 14 months back only once i had sex with him.. he was not loving with me just wanted to enjoy sex with me we broke up... i was really hurt at that time.. i met with a boy...
A. 22 October 2012: You don't want him to think that the blood is from the period either. So, the best day to get married is day 4 or 5 in your cycle, not a lot of blood but just enough to make a difference. If I take the last pill on Sunday, my period comes on a ... (read in full...)
My culture is uncompromising about virginity before marriage. BUT I am not a virgin. What can I do? I cannot tell him, as the shame is too much.
Q. hi..i had a relationship with an boy i was loved him deeply... Nearly 14 months back only once i had sex with him.. he was not loving with me just wanted to enjoy sex with me we broke up... i was really hurt at that time.. i met with a boy...
A. 22 October 2012: You don't need to buy sacks of blood. When you know the date of the marriage, time it so you know that your period is around that time too. If it's not, take birth control pills. When you finish the last pill, then's when you will bleed.... (read in full...)
What should I do? Forgive him and love again?
Q. So here it goes: I ended up hurting this guy (by lying to him online about my identity, etc)....and in turn, I felt awful (just awful) and I wanted to make things right. However, what I did was virtual, it was just online. I finally confesse...
A. 22 October 2012: You feel like he's treating you as a slut but actually he is afraid to get hurt so he was closing up inside. He is afraid to be a 40 year old virgin so when opportunity comes he seized it. I think he took it personally when you said you wanted to go ... (read in full...)
What's the deal with Kim Kardashian?
Q. Hi, everyone. My boyfriend has a thing for Kim Kardashian. I personally think she's an overrated, spoiled brat. He has pleasured himself to her before, while we were broken up, but just recently I had fallen asleep before him and I woke up to him in ...
A. 22 October 2012: Please don't compare yourself with Kim Kardashian. With money, anyone can be beautiful. She is just a sexual object. No one cares if she is a spoiled brat. When he has sex with you, he should only think about you, and not fantasize about big asses. ... (read in full...)
Can a disapproving mother in law destroy our relationship?
Q. The first time I met my mother in-law as I was about to greet her by shaking, she refused to shake mine. I was so devastated as she was So cold to me. My huge problem is that I love my her son an we are planning a future together, as we speak we've ...
A. 22 October 2012: If your boyfriend is so afraid of his mother that he has to appease her by not marrying you, then of course it will. I belong to the indifferent category, and will only date people who are emancipated from having to please their parents. I can be ... (read in full...)
His Russian friend is very interested in him. Am I wasting my time with him?
Q. I've been seeing a guy since March. He's 33 and I'm 20. He's a master student and is going to graduate this semester and go back to his country. Unless he gets a job here. Our relationship is private as we agreed since the beginning, and we start...
A. 21 October 2012: Sounds like your guy is from Russia too. In Eastern European countries age gap relationships are very normal, girls marry very young, so I don't buy into his bullshit that you are not ready for a family. I also don't think one can be in love with ... (read in full...)
I've started taking the pill but the doctor gave no advice at all!
Q. so i went to my doctor and got the pill but she was no help at all with what to do. So i had to research and ask my friends, basically I started my period this monday, but i started taking the pill today. My friends said this is fine, because ...
A. 21 October 2012: I thought the pills come with inserts, instructions and warnings. You should take it the first sunday after your period is cleared. If you have a 28 pack, the last row is sugar pills or reminder pills with no estrogen, which is to allow you to have ... (read in full...)
She has a Major Crush on my boyfriend. We are both fed up with her. How do we get her to leave us alone for good
Q. My boyfriend works with a girl who loves my boyfriend. When her boyfriend broke up with her she was crying and my boyfriend listened to her and helped her. Everything was fine at that moment. But since then she has developed a major crush on my ...
A. 21 October 2012: Set her up with another guy if possible. She needs to believe the good in humanity and that there are actually many decent guys out there besides ones that are already taken. You can take her to parties, or interest groups where she can mingle with ... (read in full...)
He does not want to be exclusive. I do want to be exclusive. Shall I wait until he is ready?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks. I really like him and we have fun together. The thing is, we've done some sexual stuff and I sort of feel weird that I did that with someone who isn't my boyfriend. He just got out of a long-term relati...
A. 21 October 2012: Yes you can see other people. If he gets upset then you can tell him you weren't official. Better yet, just break up and move on and be sure that the next guy is ready. Waiting is painful, I will tell you why. You would always wonder what it feels ... (read in full...)
He is obsessed with the bodies of women. Other women. I am wrong to feel so insecure?
Q. Ive always been the type of girl who hasnt been really insecure. I knew i turned heads when i walked in the room until my current bf of 5 months and then it was like i became so insecure about my body. I guess i should start by saying I am his firs...
A. 21 October 2012: I would just end it. He sees you as nothing more than a barbie doll with no feelings. Does he look like a Ken? You are at different stages in your life. You want a loving boyfriend who feels lucky to be with you while he wants to window shop for ... (read in full...)
He's never pushed for sex. So is he just not into me? Or is he not over his ex yet? How do I respond?
Q. Hello, So I know the answer really... He's just not that into you, move on, but as a lady in my mid 30's I still feel the need to ask Pathetic really So I meet this guy in a bar, he's funny, smart, sexy I like him a lot. We see each oth...
A. 21 October 2012: Not all guys looking for casual sex, ego boost or whatever are jerks and sex craved animals. They can also be very well mannered, patient and respectful. Actually a lot of them will beg you to come back for more sex once they had a taste of you. ... (read in full...)
Guilty? maybe? Is the reason I can't ask out this other girl because I'm worried about hurting her further?
Q. There are at least two girls at school who fancy me. Possibly a third. One of them I'm really good friends with but she hasn't mentioned it yet, but people think she does fancy me. One of them likes me and I like her back but I'm friends with...
A. 21 October 2012: There are different kinds of feelings: feelings of attraction, feeling of good rapport, feelings of ego being stroked. For your example, I would say the girl you used stroked your ego but you don't really respect and admire her. I know at your age ... (read in full...)
Can I ask her again if she can still make it? I hate the disappointment if something planned for does not happen
Q. I hate making plans or looking forward to something which will never happen because i HATE the feeling of dissappointment. I been talking to this girl for like 2 months and we have now met twice, we kissed second time and she was telling me how g...
A. 21 October 2012: I don't see pressure here. Only 2 dates in 2 months will make me forget about a guy. I like to meet at least once a week, twice a week even better. Anything less than that it's like out of sight out of mine. That's just me. Everyone's different with ... (read in full...)
Why does my wife of 18 years need to talk to men online? And meet them? and lie? Is this the beginning of the end of our marriage?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 18 years. We have 10 year old twins together. We used to share an email account (mine) but now she has 3 or 4 email accounts of her own. I only have one email account and she has the password to my account. She ...
A. 21 October 2012: Your wife is the example why old fashioned men won't ever marry women who's had had casual sex, and develop retroactive jealousy. You have to realize what she is doing is emotionally cheating and coming very close to physically cheating. Never mind ... (read in full...)
Is she shy, does she like me or is she giving me the brush-off?
Q. I have a crush on this kinda shy younger girl I work with. Anyway I was doing small talk with her. I told her my days off, then she told me hers. I asked if she was doing anything special this weekend and said not really and walked away to do work. ...
A. 21 October 2012: She can be shy at work and after she got off work you may be able to see a different personality. I know a lot of work place romance. It's common but still there is a taboo attached to it. Make it low key like just a lunch or coffee. Be subtle so ... (read in full...)
He's never pushed for sex. So is he just not into me? Or is he not over his ex yet? How do I respond?
Q. Hello, So I know the answer really... He's just not that into you, move on, but as a lady in my mid 30's I still feel the need to ask Pathetic really So I meet this guy in a bar, he's funny, smart, sexy I like him a lot. We see each oth...
A. 21 October 2012: "Okay I understand. It was great meeting you anyway." I have not read the book "he's not that into you" and neither do I take it personally when a guy just wants sex. I just move onto the next one. How is looking at my inadequacies going to help ... (read in full...)
Am I getting mixed messages?
Q. The joy of mixed messages! Or as I perceive them as so! There's this guy, as there always is, he's pretty cute and in my class at college! Anyway, last week, things seem to be going well (we hung out alone a few times and he made a few comments t...
A. 20 October 2012: I got more good messages here. The ones that make you unsure are because he is shy. When he was close to you he could be getting an erection, wanting to hide it, so that's probably why he didn't want to let it go too far. One thing for sure is that ... (read in full...)
I still really love him, but I just don't know what's real.
Q. In February 2009, I met a friend of a friends at a local pub. I didn't think too much of him, but he was persistant to be around me and we started spending time together. I fell in love in a matter of days. He was everything I had ever dreamed of in ...
A. 20 October 2012: The truth is that he is not ready for a relationship despite being in love with you. He is not gay, he is hooking up with gay men to gain the power back over men who abused him. He had the freedom to do this all he wants, even his whole life, but he ... (read in full...)
He's gay but may be bi. Would hinting at my romantic feelings I have for him feel too weird to him?
Q. Hi everyone I thank you in advance for hearing my story and helping me out. I have a best friend i'm really into. He's gay but i think he's been having romantic thing with women.I gather this from things that he says. Anyway, I can't see...
A. 20 October 2012: He can be emotionally attracted to women while sexually attracted to men. He can also be conflicted himself. If you hint romantic feelings for him he will say to you all he could offer you is companionship and friendship because sexually he has none ... (read in full...)
She takes offence easily. I'm not sure if we're right for each other. Should I stay or leave?
Q. So i've been with my girlfriend for just over 3 years now but im not sure if i should stay with her or move on. We're both in our early 20's. She's the first real gf i've had and the only girl i've slept with. She really is a great person and...
A. 20 October 2012: Communication is a problem here. Even fighting is an attempt to reach out about unmet needs. When you think about children, when they act up, throw tantrums, they are trying to tell us something but don't know what that is. She is not conscious of ... (read in full...)
Am I paranoid or confused for thinking she is still in love with her ex?
Q. My girlfriend and I dated 2 years back,we broke up,she got married and is now divorced. We did get back together recently and have decided to get married. After seeing her her ex husband not too long ago(never made convo),I've noticed a change...
A. 20 October 2012: I am looking at your age. The sequences of the relationships happened too fast, back to back because of impulsiveness. You are also one of her exes. You broke up but did not resolve anything. She was desperate and got married but didn't work out ... (read in full...)
I have Aspergers and I'm bisexual. How do I find someone (preferably a woman) to date in my small town?
Q. i am 26 years old from the United Kingdom, and have Asperger's Syndrome. I have a brother but I only see him now and then as he has his own life in another county, and a job. I enjoy life, do voluntary work including some with elderly people [...
A. 19 October 2012: Very few people are truly 100% heterosexual so you can just drop that bisexual issue. It's not haunting our life. If you never had sex with a man again you are not missing anything if the percentage is only 5% so there is no need to mention it. In ... (read in full...)
Should I offer myself to this guy for two months before I move abroad? I don't want to look like an idiot'
Q. Dear Cupid, I want to make a deal with this guy but I am not sure if it is normal to do so or how to get by doing the deal without looking like an idiot or making a fool out of my self. I am moving out of the country end of this year as I ju...
A. 19 October 2012: Why is it about ownership? Are you submissive? It takes two to tango so he is giving equally to you as well. First find out if he's the cheap type who will brag about his adventures to people, or post stuff on facebook. Maybe you can visit his ... (read in full...)
I feel my girlfriend is rushing our relationship. 6 months and a LDR and she's talking of marriage!
Q. I have been dating this girl long distance of 6 months now, and we are planning to move in together in 2 months. She has had many more sexual partners and failed relationships as well as a marriage when she was still young. Where as this is my first ...
A. 19 October 2012: She is rushing it. She should have learned a lesson in her past. She married the wrong person because it was a haste decision and it's unfair for her to make you ready when you are not. You've done enough of your part explaining your readiness. If ... (read in full...)
I can't tell where I stand with this guy?
Q. This is going to be kind of long, but I’d appreciate any help I can get because I’m really confused right now. About two months ago I started talking to this guy I worked with over the summer. Every time we’d have the same shift we would talk on ...
A. 19 October 2012: It can only be casual as long as you can put your feelings under control. You should ask him about it. It's not just for you. He could be falling for you in the future too. Just remember even if you keep on telling yourselves it is just sex and ... (read in full...)
Why is he texting me again and how should I approach him?
Q. My ex and I dated for around seven months. We spent a lot of time together and traveled together. Basically, he broke it off because he was hurt badly before by an ex-wife who cheated on him, and he’s been scared of relationships since then—until he ...
A. 16 October 2012: He just wants to be wanted. The game playing benefits him knowing that there's a woman who thinks and cares about him, but at the same time he is allowed to disappear again because he doesn't say anything about reconciliation. Being cheated on is a ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my b/f of 1 week that I'd prefer he didn't take drugs?
Q. Hi there, Me and my boyfriend (who have been together for just over a week now)have really fallen deeply for each other. We get on so well, have the same sense of humour, music tastes, etc..almost everything I've ever wanted in man I've found i...
A. 15 October 2012: You have the same interests together but he is doing something illegal. He has this habit before meeting you. It would be hard for him to break it without breaking your relationship. Drugs are potent. His brain still gets affected even when used ... (read in full...)
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