A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, this might seem a bit random but i'm just wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this?My boyfriend is like no one i've ever met before, hes 21 near 22 we have been together for near 2 years and ive known him for 10.He has such a strange personality and acts strange, EVERYONE has noticed it even his parents, here are some of his characteristics:1. He attention seeks all the time2. He has a strict routine in the house and grooming3. Everything has to be exactly how he likes it4. He freaks out if his routine is disrupted5. He has trouble making friends6. His style is very out there7. He obsesses with boy bands8. He doesn't care what anyone thinks of him9. He never realizes when someone is putting him down10. He says hurtful things and then twists it around to not be his fault.11. He struggles being a dad, doesn't understand "why babies are so stupid" which upsets me12. He will obsess over songs, film quotes, people etc13. His phone only has 5 songs on it and he will happily listen to the same ones over and over!14. He goes from great to very angry very quickly15. He has no sense of danger!! Will leave the iron on until it burns stuff!!16. Repeats himself over and over if were having an argument and throws past arguments in my faceNow im not saying any of this to slag him off or sound like a bitch, I know everyone is different, but I worry there is something wrong with him. His parents had him tested for Aspergers Syndrome but the doctor said he didn't have it.My main worry is that if there is something that my daughter will have it too. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 He sounds like the poster child for Asperger's but, if the doctor sorted that out, I guess he had his reasons. Did he sort out also any condition on the autistic spectrum ?
Asperger's and High Functioning Autism share many common traits , and often the distinction between the two is so NOT clear cut, that choosing a diagnosis over the other is simply a matter of personal interpretation and of applying more or less rigorously certain criteria that necessarily can't be mathematical but, open, indeed, to situational interpretation.
Another possibility, going strictly by the books and by a symptoms checklist ( that means little not knowing how this guy REALLY is and acts in daily life, how, when, why etc... ) is Schizoid Personality Disorder, he seems to exhibit quite a few traits.
But, we are Agony aunts, not psychiatrists, I think the best , in fact the only, solution to your dilemma would be to have him go to see one for a thorough professional consultation. A psychiatrist could also inform you about the rate of hereditariety or genetic predisposition, if any, for each condition.
Is there something wrong with him ? ... I
I 'd have to answer in two opposite ways . From a moral , spiritual point of view no, it's not "wrong " being different, we are all unique and each of us worthy of love and respect . Nobody is ever "wrong " for being who he is. The world is a big place and everybody should, MUST in fact, find acceptance and comprehension in it.
From a factual, functional, social point of view, the answer would be, yes, undoubtely. Many of the behaviours he exhibits are not coherent with complete mental health.
There's quirky, and there's pathological, - and another thorough consultation with an expert can only be in his interest .
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): My first thought is that he has autism. But I'm guessing he's been tested for that. His rituals/obsessive behaviour and not reading other people's cues and feelings seem to point to something on the autistic spectrum.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 I agree 100% with Janniepeg.
However, I'm not a doctor.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 January 2013):
 He does sound like Asperger's. People can have traits, but they need to have enough to qualify for an official diagnosis. That doesn't mean a person who scores 69, one point below the cut off point, is normal and does not need help with social skills. The word I would describe him is eccentric. He could have shared clustered traits such as ADD, OCD. Asperger's is not a mental disorder, rather a developmental one and there is always time to correct his deficiences if he chooses to. His problems do not sound extreme but the hard part is that he is stubborn and will need you to work around it because he himself would rather be this way, rather be lonely than change. There are Aspies who are very eager to study how NTs (neurotypical) behave and make friends but this one is not.
I recommend you to list at least 10 good qualities that he has. It is important that no matter how your baby daughter comes out to be, you cherish her being and not look at any potential future diagnosis as a disability, but as something unique about her. Many Aspies (different people) are talented, and successful if allowed to pursue something they are interested in. Society will be hostile towards different people, let the love come from you as a mother and focus on the positives. Guide her, not fix her. If your daughter is just like her father. She might be like you.
I agree with what the doctor says, that he does not have an official Asperger's Syndrome. He is not average either. He is just different.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (10 January 2013):
 Am I right in thinking that you have a child together? Sorry if this sounds rude, but why did you decide to have children with him? There's nothing wrong with being a little bit strange, but he sounds like he is unstable and potentially dangerous (the temper, the lack of awareness of danger) with it. I know next to nothing about psychology so I don't know what it could be, but he does sound like he has some sort of personality disorder. What are his positive qualities?
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