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He cheated, said it was over so why is her number still in his phone? And other women's too?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My guy and I had been together off and on for 4 years over the phone and finally got together last year and he moved in with me. One day he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes and things were going great then about 5 months ago he cheated on me. He says he is no longer talking to her but I saw her number still in his phone plus other women and pictures and texts. I love this man with all my heart and I thought he loved me too. What should I do??

View related questions: cheated on me, moved in, text

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (9 January 2013):

Honeygirl agony auntSorry but your man is still cheating on you. All he did was tell you the things you wanted to hear so that he could carry on with his cheating.

You have now agreed to marry him... bad move! He will not change - he is a serial cheater and things will get worse not better.

Do you really think you deserve this kind of behaviour. By his cheating and I suspect is having sex with these women - he is exposing you to possible STI's.

A relationship is build on trust and if you cannot trust your partner then there is no relationship.

PM me if you want to chat further.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013):

He still has her number and that of other women's and pics and texts because he's a cheater. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That's why. You didn't think he'd cheat on you the first time and he did. What makes you think it is different now? In fact, now it is even easier for him to cheat cause he knows how forgiving you are.

What should you do? You should grow a pair and tell him to piss off. But if you love him so much, then just accept that he cheats on you and try to ignore it. If you ignore it long enough he may lose so much respect for you that next time he may not just cheat but take it to the next level and leave you for another woman.

Hon, there is nothing more unattractive than a girl who allows herself to get walked all over.

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2013):

anon_e_mouse agony auntIt isn't over then. He doesn't love you. He's using you as backup. How can you marry a guy you cannot trust?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (9 January 2013):

janniepeg agony auntYou should let him go because he does not respect committment. He does not seem apologetic, is lying to your face, and does not even bother to cover up his tracks. He thinks it is okay to have one woman as a mother and a traditional home caretaker while having other women on the side. His morals do not match up with yours.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 January 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHave you asked him?

And what should you do? Well, personally I would sit him down and have a long chat abut what you think is OK in a relationship and a marriage (since you two are engaged) and what is NOT OK in your book. And I would also suggest you two consider some premarital counseling.

Have you two talked about WHY he cheated or did you just sweep it under the rug because you WANTED to be engaged?

I'm not sure how you can trust this guy and say that you love him with all your heart, if he puts you though cheating and keep their contact info after they supposedly are "over".

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