A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy bf of 2 years always switches off his mobile when we fight and make me suffer until I send him sorry msg to his Facebook account even when he started the fight and even when he's wrongHe did it now too. I can't go thru this suffering again, I feel humiliated begging him everytime to talk to me. Pls help me
View related questions:
facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): OP,I'm really sorry to hear this is happening to you. I know what it's like to feel completely head over heels for someone and, unfortunately, to be the more emotionally intelligent of the two.I'm a big believer in closure and living life with no regrets. If you feel like you can walk away now and be okay, then by all means, do it.But if you can't, I suggest contacting him the only way you know how (through facebook) and then sitting down with him in person. Tell him that you care for him and value your relationship and would like to keep it going. Then tell him what emotions you experience when he does this to you (hurt, embarrassed, disrespected). If he needs time to cool down when he turns off his phone, that's okay, but tell him that then it's his responsibility to contact you after that period and that he should let you know about how long to expect.Tell him that if he does this again, you're not going to play ball. And then if he does it again, recognize that he's trying to control you and knows that he's hurting you but does it anyway.Good luck. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
A
female
reader, Foxxy1 +, writes (9 January 2013):
LOL this is so unbecoming. You cannot win with this loser. He always wants to feel special and taking advantage of your weakness. Yes weakness. I understand being the bigger person and ending a fight. But if one is messing up multiple times and is not remorseful then they just don't care about your feelings that much or care to change the situatio
The only thing you can change in this situation is you.
Don't do anything anymore. Men respond to silence. You are the one caring about what he is up to. Thats why you are initiating contact. Let him wonder himself this time. If he doesn't come back then he is not for you.
Bye loser.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): I actually laughed when reading this, as my ex-boyfriend who I was desperately in love with (and desperate for acceptance from) was EXACTLY the same.
The truth is, he just doesn't care. You NEED to block him from your life completely. And trust me when I say that I know how hard it is, but in 6 months time you won't believe the relief of dumping someone like him!
Good luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): you are humiliating yourself by groveling and begging him and you know it. Stop it. Next time he cuts you off, consider it final and behave accordingly by moving on, for real, because this guy is not someone you should be with at all. You might get some satisfaction in him crawling back after his shock that you're ignoring him but I advise you not to take him back when this happens.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 Why not give him a taste of his own medicine. Block him from all forms of communication, facebook, email, phone and never let him contact you again. This guy sounds very immature and not worth your time.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 January 2013):
 Wow, honey why are you so desperate to keep this guy around? He can't even handle a "fight" without resorting to putting you on ignore and you at the disadvantage.
Seriously, dump the BABY.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): If you don't want to do this then don't do it anymore. He's not the one setting up this standard, you are. He's going to have to turn on his phone eventually anyway so there is no point you messaging him on fb. Just let him cool off. Let him get back to you. What are you so scared of anyway? My boyfriend used to do similar stuff and it drove me nuts. Until one day I relaxed about it, let him be and went off and did my own thing. He always comes back, he probably just needed to cool off. Stop humiliating yourself, grow a backbone and let him be. If he wants to handle a fight in a immature fashion then let him do so. In the meantime do your own thing and stop contacting him. Once he's cooled off, it won't be more than a couple days trust me, then address this and let him know calmly that you don't like how he handles arguments with you, it really upsets you. This whole business of taking off and disappearing, turning off his phone without resolving anything is not going to fly anymore. You are a woman who resolves things and gets things done. So things are going to have to change if he wants to continue with you. And that's that.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 January 2013):
 Well if it was me, I'd assume that this is the last fight.
this is going to be so hard for you but don't beg him to come back.
don't message him.
don't call him
don't contact him.
wait for him to come to you.
do you really want to spend your time with a man who behaves like a spoiled toddler?
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 January 2013):
 He made it a public humiliation. He is a bully too. Unfriend him on facebook and never talk to him again. If you don't want suffering again you have to be strong and cut off contact with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (9 January 2013):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) That's very immature on his behalf, not yours hun. Do not let this bastard get to you, I truly think he needs to grow a pair because if he can't face his problems then he's never going to get anywhere. How will anything get resolved if he keeps expecting YOU to be the only one apologizing? I'm sorry it's not fight, one person is always at blame (not him), and then you apologize, it's over... It just keeps happening over and over again like a cycle. Forget this, you'll be much better off without him, he's an idiot. You are mature, don't let this guy get the best of you. He should be the one begging for forgiveness.
...............................
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (9 January 2013):
 If you are in the wrong then he's right to walk away. What sort of things are you fighting about?
If they're small things then he's right to do what he's doing. A REAL man doesn't argue with his woman. However, if a REAL man does something wrong he'll apologise and not do it again (if it's important to you/him).
There's no point in getting in a argument with a woman. They always win whether they're right or wrong.
...............................
|
