A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is 25 and he is convinced my parents don't like him. This is not true - I have obviously spoken to them about him many times and they think he is great and said they have never seen me so happy. Based on past boyfriends they would definitely tell me if they didn't like him too. No matter how many times I tell him that he won't believe it though. He's always saying things like they give him funny looks or use a weird tone when they are speaking to him. I have never noticed this at all and him constantly bringing it up is starting to get to me as I feel I am defending them in a fight that doesn't exist (they don't know he feels this way either so it's not a factor). The only thing I can think that sparked this is that about 6 months after we got together (2 years ago) he split up with me for a week saying he wasn't sure what he wanted. However we sorted it out and afterwards they told me they were actually really impressed with the way he worked hard to prove he was serious about winning my trust back again. Maybe he thinks they are mad at him about that or something though? All through my life my house was the one everyone gathered at because my parents welcome everyone, so I am really confused as to why he thinks they are not towards him. Any advice?
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (8 January 2013):
 I agree with the other poster here. Sounds to me like he's not serious about this relationship and coming out with an excuse. Whatever the reason this is a red flag.
What more can you do?
I'm not being funny if you had "a break" for 1 week 18 months ago then I very much doubt that's the reason.
Sounds to me like he's got cold feet. Now he feels guilty because he called for a "time out", you sorted out your differences and got back together. Now, 18 months down the line he's not sure he's interested anymore (again).
That's what it sounds like to me.
Just out of interest why did you get back together after the break?
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 January 2013):
 I think you already know the answer and just getting comfirmation here. He doesn't want to take the step towards a more serious relationship. Some parents are good at putting up a good front and smile, while some can't hide their animosity. If you your boyfriend feels that is a reason they can't like him, there probably is. He screwed up before by being wishy washy, the price he pays is working extra hard to impress your parents too, not just you. He feels that he can fool you for a while but not with older more mature people like your parents. I would just see his reluctance as a sign that he is not serious. He would rather use your parents as a reason who this relationship couldn't progress. You don't need to do anything to convince or defend your parents. It's all up to him now. If he continues to be negative about this relationship then you, not just your parents, will stop liking him, like a self fulfilling prophecy.
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