A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,Recently for some reason I have become a little insecure :( I am an attractive young woman...slim so little reason to you could say but like alot of women seem to be uncomfortable with my fiance looking at stuff on the internet. Its few and far between and just occasional porn (funnily enough the pornstars look similar to myself Blonde....slim just the odd time a brunette and also just very recently one or two celebritys and one also naked - but not particularly glamourous people! I have questioned myself and worried maybe he isn't happy. I asked him about it he is a good guy and he just said boredom - as he works on his laptop all the time and has quite a technically demanding job..and he has just been bored and a break from work. I know he doesn't want to hurt me and would be so upset if he knew how much it was bothering me. I am not the sort to cause trouble and shout about it...very calm if anything. Just want some male points of views to put my mind at rest that's all. We have an amazing relationship and sex life so really no problem there and he says all the time he is so lucky to be with me as I am beautiful and a good soul. Thank you in advance for any replys :-)
View related questions:
a break, fiance, insecure, porn, sex life, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sara_the_Slytherin  +, writes (26 October 2013):
 I am just trying to help... It's just that I sensed that you were suffering from an underlying self-esteem issue. I think that it would help to talk to someone, like a counselor. We all have flaws but that doesn't mean we're not lovable.
A
female
reader, Sara_the_Slytherin +, writes (15 October 2013):
Men tend to be much more visually stimulated than women. It's a scientific fact.
...............................
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (15 October 2013):
 Fantasies. Why do men like comic book movies? We like the fantasy of super powers and the unlimited importance they give the holder. Why do men like monster trucks? We like the fantasy of being able to drive over the other cars in our way? Why do men love porn? Fantasy. Not what they want out of a real relationship, not what they want an actual woman to be like, but it's a larger than life fantasy portrayal of sex distilled and exaggerated.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks for your replys. It probably seems pathetic to some but I have been really quite hurt by this - low self esteem I guess. Probably doesn't help that I gave birth 5 months ago! :-)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2013): Because they are there. Why do women look at George Clooney and imagine balancing his check book?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2013): Some people have it worse. Apparently it has nothing to do with their partner. At least he looks at people that look like you. If he only looking I wouldn't be too bothered.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 October 2013):
Because its just about the cheapest and quickest way to stimulate your brain's pleasure center.
That's it. It has nothing to do with you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2013): If it bothers you, then you do need to speak up. If you are not honest about it, eventually resentment will set in. It is then up to him to decide if you are important enough to find something else constructive to do with his boredom. It sounds like you have an open line of communication and that's a good thing.
Not all men look at porn or naked celebrities. I for one, have far too much going on in my every day life, an active sex life and children. There is no porn in our home. It's not something I need to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 October 2013):
 Why let this bother you if it is in no way affecting your relationship? I'm a woman and I look at porn. My gf looks at porn too. Oh well. Its nothing.
he only does it occasionally. Why create a problem in a good healthy relationship?
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 October 2013):
 Are you kidding????? Have you ever seen Sandra Bullock without her clothes on????? .... and you STILL think this question makes sense??????
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 October 2013):
 i'm sure you are all that but as a male I can tell you a man is always curious to see women naked. The female body is irresistable to look at. It is not personal as to whether or not he thinks the world of you. It's just natural. And no man I klnow of will ever stop being curious and arroused by other women. DNA? I don't know but like my dad once said if I'm not looking, I'm dead.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 October 2013):
 From a male's point of view, it's rather why not look at them? Your boyfriend could have this habit before meeting you, and that is not a good enough to stop looking at them. Although some men look at porn because their partners are rejecting them in the bedroom or won't act out certain fantasies or fetishes. Some are tired and want a quick release rather than do an hour long session starting with foreplay. Your boyfriend's reason is that he's bored, stressed and needs a break. He's not going to bug you every time he's horny so he would just take care of it himself.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2013): I do look at attractive women, but they're usually models for the likes of Marks & Spencer, NEXT etc. or TV extras on extras agency sites rather than pornographic.
It is a discredited trope that "all men look at porn" (trope being a word for cliche in fiction).
Not all men look at pornography, some just look at attractive women
...............................
|
