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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Okay so I went on a date with this guy I met him at a coffee shop and he looked really good. We had a nice time talking and laughing. Before we had met he came on really strong when we were texting each other. He would text me telling me how beautiful I am and was very charming saying that kissing me would be like heaven. He talked about us making love for hours and was very graphic about doing oral sex on me and that he would love to have a girlfriend like me. Before our date he wanted to see if we would be attracted to each other. So we exchanged photos. He sent one with his shirt off and I sent one with me in my bra.He was also acting like a jealous boyfriend saying that he was getting the feeling that I was flirting with other guys. He would keep tabs on me. We had not even met yet so I told him that the only guys I talk to are pen pals that are far away. So he was nervous about kissing me so I told him he could just ask me. As I mentioned before the date went extremely well andwhen we left he walked me to my car and he looked at me and pulled me in and hugged me and kissed me passionately. I told him I had a good time and he said he did too. A few days after, we texted each other and he casually asked me for another photo thistime he wanted one of my a** I didn't know how I was going to send something like that to him. Somehow I figured it out and it went to his phone and his email. He went ballistic telling me how sexy I was and I thought that would make him like me more and want to see me again. He wasn't texting as much and he was working and when he did text he would make comments about other guys hitting on me. I asked him if he still respected me after I sent that photo he swore that it was cool between us. I was feeling so insecure, confused, and a little pissed at him because I felt pressured to do it and then I started sending other photos (half-naked) to my pen pals. They were complimenting me a lot and my cell phone was full of texts from them and I loved the attention. But they were sending photos of themselves(half-naked) and I was getting addicted to taking more photos. I didn't mention it to him because I know he would have criticized me and said that he was right about me flirting. One of the other guys that I sent photos to likes me and we talk all the time on the phone and he wants to sleep with me, but he knows I am waiting for this guy to ask me out again. Should I just wait it out? Now after the way he acted in the beginning he has pulled back a little and says "We are still getting to know each other." I asked him if he wanted to hang out again and he wouldn't give me a straight answer. Why does it have to be so complicated if we had a good time on our date? He still texts me and seems interested.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (19 October 2013):
Perhaps if you want to be treated like a lady, you should stop giving the kind of men who are just after a quick thrill what they want: I’m afraid the kind of man that starts sending graphic descriptions of what he’d like to do with you before you even meet isn’t complicated at all, he’s after one thing and I’m afraid it’s not your company or conversation. If you’re looking for dating to lead to anything more serious, you need to stop taking these pictures and sending them to all these guy friends of yours, ignore anyone who comes on that strong before you even meet, and make it quite clear that you want dates with no expectation of anything straight away so you can get to know each other.
I think it’d be a pretty safe bet that if you actually wanted some-one to date you and get to know you before any kissing or photo exchange or anything else took place, none of these men you’re communicating with would show you any interest.
I’m afraid you need to lose this guy, and all these others you’re sending pictures to, and start again. Otherwise, it’s depressingly uncomplicated: you’re going to get hurt and messed around.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 October 2013):
 He's a creep, controlling one too and prefers a virtual relationship over a real, day to day relationship. He sounds like he has deep insecurity and trust issues and all he can handle right now is some online fantasy or wank material. It is no great feat to present one self to have a great date. Being at this ripe old age it's not hard to have mastered the skill of looking good on the first date. He knew that if it's so easy for you to send sexy photos to a guy you have never met, you would do the same to other guys and he is right. True you can do whatever you want, you are not official but you are playing a losing game here because he's expecting you to give your all while he sits back and judge you with his old double standards about men and women.
Men with serious intentions to date would not ask you for sexy pics. He did not lose respect for you? That's a lie. If he said that then you would probably cut contact with him and he will no longer get sexy pics. You are still getting to know each other? That's a lie. You hang out again to know each other. Not by emailing back and forth and doubting sincerity.
He went on a date with you to make you think there is more going on, otherwise he is just some old fart preying on innocent women.
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