A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you know when you're ready to settle down? I want someone to come home to every night, to be there for my son and I, but I still look at all these attractive men and think wow. I have so many options. I'm seeing a sweet, kind, amazing man who wants to settle down. How do I know if I'm ready? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 December 2013):
 Sadly OP the cliche "you just know" is quite true.
and even when you look at other attractive available men you will still want to be your one guy...
so it sounds to me like this guy you are seeing is not YOUR ONE (at this time)
it's sort of like when a man says "I am never getting married" and then you break up with him and a year later he's married....
it's because he met the one that made him want to settle down. Happened to my husband, who swore that he was never getting married. Till he met me.
The issue is that this guy wants more from you than you want to give him since you asked... once you find "the one" you won't ask... so very cliched but so very true.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (18 December 2013):
 i swear to you the saying is so incredibly true: "when you know, you just know."
i never understood that. but it's real. when you meet that "one," it makes you realize why everyone else didn't work. it's just different.
good luck.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (18 December 2013):
 you have to come to the end of yourself. what i mean by that is you get tired of the meaningless self centered lifestyle you are living. the shallow thinking of self only, and welling to put someone that you care for ahead of your needs and wants.
finding the right one goes beyond attractive. its finding the one you can't live without, not just one you can live with. finding that someone you can't picture your life going through this life without them by your side.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 December 2013):
 When you date him long enough and you figure out that your goals match, in terms of how many more children would you have, how he and your son get along, do you have common interests, etc. You find him attractive. When you find the right match all these attractive men would fade into the background because a relationship requires more than just looks. It's very easy to find someone to date but it's hard to get one that works in the long term. You sound ready for a long term relationship because you said you want someone to come home to every night, to be there for your son and you. A relationship should be simple like that but in reality it's not for some people. Your experience with this new guy should not deviate too much from your wishes. He should be able to offer your security as much as pleasure.
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