A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So lately ive been feeling very strange. I feel like im a new person? I look at myself in the mirror and i just feel different, its hard to explain. Its not that i dont recognize myself, its that i feel different. I also have started to question litterally everything! My body movements, the way i look, my spirit, etc. Questioning these things freak me out too. I feel much more alert than ever and its not a good feeling honestly, its kind of scary. I think about things way to in depth! I look at pictures of myself before all this started happening and i just seem like a different person. I also hate to be alone now or do anything alone which is very odd because i used to be a very independent person. This all started after i got a girlfriend for the first time in my life and my mom started using and tearing my family apart again... Are these feelings normal for a teenager? Am in some sort of depression? Will this pass? This episode has been happening for a little over a month now. Im a 17 year old male. Thanks for the help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2013): Why don't you rewrite the post; and this time, put it in your own words. Tell us how you feel.
I do believe it is hormones and I do believe becoming aware of who you are is mostly what you're feeling. You have to tell us from your own state of mind; otherwise, we are telling you what the other guy was feeling. Cutting and pasting someone's entire post was misleading; so your answer was for someone else, and not you.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 December 2013):
 The journey to self awareness starts with learning how to put feelings into words. Many agony aunts have the ability to write so eloquently because they read a lot. When you read people's stories sometimes you relate and a bulb lights up in your head. I understand the person in the post was trying to express himself. It was unclear as to what he was saying, so I have a generalized answer. So when I know that person is not you I am lost, as to what's the connection between your mom's behavior and you not wanting to be alone. That's okay. The point is that you notice changes in yourself. I am sure hormones have to do with it though I am not an expert in biology. Some hormones are responsible for mood. Some are responsible in decision making. Everyone's experience with the adult transition is different. I don't remember feeling this way as I've always liked being alone. I had felt that my changes were smooth, nothing too abrupt, nothing like a part of me dying and being reborn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I'm sorry for wasting your guys' time with those well thought out responses, but I just copy and pasted this question from another forum website because this guy who asked this question perfectly described how I've feeling. The only part that isn't true is that I don't have a girlfriend and My mom is definitely now tearing my family apart.
So now that you guys understand, how come I've been feeling so self aware all of the sudden? Is it teenage hormones?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): What you're feeling is an acute self-awareness.
Most people start looking at themselves differently at your age; because you are realizing your early manhood. You don't really like being a loner. You prefer being around people. You were once looking at yourself as a boy; you no longer feel like a boy. That is the affect your girlfriend has brought on. You've grown beyond puberty.
You are maturing. Yes, it's scary and confusing. You now have to start taking your education more seriously;because college is approaching. You are soon to be of legal age to vote and make some pretty major decisions for yourself.You may soon have to start working and contributing financially to your household. It may be necessary, no longer just an option.
Your mother's using "does" have a direct affect on how you're feeling. Deep down, you don't like it. You hate feeling helpless, and unable to do anything about it. Anyone would. You don't get used to it.You'll always hate it. What it does to your family.
You're tired of facing stuff without the benefit of parental guidance. You see her weakness to drug abuse as early abandonment. She let you down. Before you were old enough and ready. You don't see it now, but you will in time.
If you come from a family made dysfunctional by alcohol and/or drug abuse. You've learned to shut things out a lot.
You were too young to deal with most of it. Now you are older and smarter. You know what the fighting is about, you know how it affects you and your dad, or any siblings you have.
You are also realizing that you really do need to interact with others; and that you really do want to have a normal family situation. You are affected by what goes on around you; whether you admit it or not, young man. Your mother's problems made you feel isolated, and want to close yourself off from people. Not anymore. You're fed up with it.
You're just used to blocking things out. You're too old to do that anymore. So it scares you. You understand a lot more of what's happening, than you did as a kid.
Your girlfriend made you realize how close you are to becoming a man. Like you just awakened from a deep sleep. Everything you feel is totally normal and right on time. You are a healthy young male, and your development into manhood is on schedule. I know the feeling. It's comes on just that quickly.
I don't know how you're doing in school? I don't know if you ever played sports, or if you participate in extracurricular activities at school? I don't know if school has any importance to you? Somehow I doubt it.
If you have a problem with drug-abuse in your family, it affects your performance and distracts your concentration. You worry about your mother and your family. I hope you are doing well in school. It's your ticket out, and assurance to a better future. It will offer you a better means of supporting yourself, and open future opportunities.
You are at the prime age in need of mentoring. You speak nothing of siblings or your father; so you give very little information to go on. I suspect that you need counseling to deal with your mother's negative affects on the family.
You don't mention profound sadness or like you can't function or think because of it. That would be depression.
If your family isn't receiving counseling; and your mother isn't getting drug rehabilitation, she is causing you what is called "anxiety."
Your alertness does feel elevated; and you feel nervous or hyper. Anxious. Family counseling can help. You can tell your school counselor how you feel, and most schools help. You can call family crisis hotlines in your area. The problem is, teenagers rather brood. They don't open up to anyone. Another adult has to notice and intervene. Your father has neglected to see that you get this attention. So you had to come here.
I really hope you don't ignore Janniepeg; or what I've tried to explain.
The advice given by Janniepeg is true. It may be too much for you to understand. That's all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I think I made a mistake including that part with my mom and the gf. I can see where it would look like it has something to do with it but I assure you it's not bothering me as much as I sounded. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
However, what I'm feeling is something unrelated. I just feel different out of nowhere. It's like my personality changed overnight. I'm really self conscious out of nowhere and I think things through so in depth. I think teenage hormones have a lot to do with it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): I'm a mental health nurse ( British ) and you shouldn't shoot down jenniepeg so quickly .. I read your post and her review and I concur .Your relationship with these two females, is very much apart of you.. You talk like you have a disassociate condition, you look in the mirror and can't believe what you see is you .. Do you see physical changes ?? I always go by the rule of thumb, that people don't say things if there is not an issue .. So to put ' my mother is tearing the family apart ' is very strong words, don't you think ?? You do not elaborate as in ' what this tearing apart is ' so jenniepeg has as would I linked them to your new feelings for your girlfriend and maybe the concerns that this would raise with your mother .Now maybe we need some further information to go on So we can offer advise, from having a clearer concise understanding of the situation at hand ..1. Are these physical changes that you see??2. What is meant by mum tearing the family apart ??Jenniepeg I felt did as she always does offered very nice supportive advice . Take care and happy Boxing Day :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@janniepeg- Well the situation with my mom has nothing to do with my gf. Also, I'm not at all upset about my anymore cause I've just accepted the situation.
Me changing actually has nothing to do with either of them
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (26 December 2013):
Being in a love relationship changes your brain chemicals. Look up dopamine and oxytocin. These chemicals make you feel bad when you don't see your girlfriend enough. People who experience them the first time feel like they are addicted to the high and go through pain in the withdrawal. These feelings are normal for a teenager, a married person, or an older person with mid life crisis. What you need to do is to always remind yourself that you were independent before and you were fine, so you would be fine again even if you have to deal with the fear of relationship ending. Your emotions will stabilize if your relationship is secure and you can think long term. Your mom is trying to tear your family apart because she feels your girlfriend as a threat and taking away her little boy. It's the same thing, she doesn't want to be alone.
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