A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Anyway, I want to hear some opinions. Guys are welcome to comment, but I think that girls may be able to offer me some valuable insight as to what exactly my problem is, and whether or not anything can be done about it.I've always been rather shy. That's just the way I've been since about high school, from when I was 13. I wasn't too bad before this, but I'd had older girls at high school bully me for absolutely no reason, which made my confidence and self esteem pretty much non existent.That took me a little bit of time to get over, but I've always been extremely cautious since that incident. Still, that doesn't help explain as to why I've never had a girlfriend, or a date. My mates managed all these no problems, but me, I seemingly never stood a chance.So years have passed, I was at that point, still going out to pubs and clubs. Was never really worth the effort though, as all my efforts were in vain. No girl was ever interested in me. I tried chatting to plenty of women of all shapes and sizes, even ones that I wasn't exactly attracted to. None wanted anything to do with me.So I turned to online dating sites. At first, I was getting absolutely no responses. That wasn't doing any wonders for what little remained of my confidence or self esteem. I'd been on these sites for maybe 6 years, and it wasn't until this year, that I'd seen any sort of progress. Didn't turn out to be progress so much, just ended up letting my guard down, and just ending up hurt, like I always do when trying to converse with people of the opposing gender.So somebody had recommended me this site. I wasn't sure at first, as the site was absolutely free - apparently paid for by the advertisers, which is good for me, as I'd wasted probably close to $600 on paid online dating sites that actually "guarantee results."So a local girl sends me a request for contact, saying that she liked my profile and wanted to know more about me. So that was good. She was rather striking, and her personality was a breath of fresh air, she was sweet, down to earth, and she was exactly what I was looking for.So we talked on the site, swapped phone numbers and were just sending text messages back and forth. However, she just suddenly went quiet, and stopped responding to any messages. Then she just deleted me off facebook, without even telling me what I'd done wrong. I'm still not sure what I've done wrong, so I've since moved on from that.So I started talking to other girls on the same site. But after talking to me for a little while, they just told me they only wanted to be friends. I was ready to give up at this point. So I suspended my account for a while, and stopped looking. I went back to the same site a month later, and revamped my profile, and put up new pictures. Got another couple of girls who showed interest in me. One said the same thing, she just wanted to be friends.However, the last one, after some small talk, and I thought things were going well, asked me a question that I really didn't want to answer, so I tried to answer it without downright lying about it."Have you had many girlfriends?"I responded with:"No, not really.Her response:"Have you actually ever had a girlfriend?"So I told her the truth. I said that I was old fashioned, that I have utmost respect for women, and I was just waiting for the right girl to come along.Her response was "Awwww that's so sweet. You're a really nice guy. I would like to get to know you better. Will you be on tomorrow?"I said I would be, but when I came back on the next day, she'd blocked me from contacting her. So she lied to me, and she must have found the fact that I've never had a relationship to be somewhat off-putting.So I just got so fed up, t hat I actually put the information about me never having a relationship before in my profile. I figured that if the right girl did exist, then that shouldn't matter to her. Well, suffice to say that before adding that information about myself, I'd gone from possibly five messages from women a week, to absolutely zero. Seems it is as off putting as I'd feared.I honestly think that women can sense when a guy has never experienced a relationship before, or at least they can when it comes to me. I'm really worried, because I'm just so sick of searching for that somebody who may not actually exist out there for me.Am I just wasting my time? Is it such a terrible thing to be nearly 30 and never had a girlfriend? I want the truth.
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confidence, facebook, never had a girlfriend, self esteem, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (22 December 2013):
A woman would think you are either the biggest Mr Niceguy, or the biggest Mr Player, most likely the former.
In either case, kiss of death for dating....
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 December 2013):
Personally this would not be a deal breaker for me, but then again I didn't exactly follow the beaten path myself. That said, putting in your profile that you've never had a girlfriend at your age is a bad idea. Because that's going to be the first impression that people have of you, before they know anything else.
When you're making an online profile, put the kind of stuff in there that you'd want people to know about you when you first meet. Stuff about your personality, your hobbies, that sort of thing. Basically the stuff that defines who you are, and your lack of relationships isn't what defines you.
As for how to deal with it. You have to get rid of the negative, almost self pitying attitude you have now. It hangs like a cloud over all the wonderful traits you have. People pick up on that stuff. And it's off-putting.
I used to feel sorry for myself and though I did not actively complain about my predicament a lot, people could sense it anyway. It was only when I saw that behavior on someone else that I realized how bad it makes you look. So try to view your life positively. You haven't fathered illegitimate children, you don't have any STD's, you don't have exes knocking on your door demanding stuff, you don't have any of that drama. You've had time to concentrate on your studies and career. You've had more freedom to live your life the way you saw fit.
A relationship should be complimentary to your life instead of being the missing piece of the puzzle. You don't need it. It would just be nice to have it. If you approach dating like that, you don't have the same amount of pressure weighing down on you.
So no more self pity. Your life is the way it is. And that's fine. Start implementing the changes others suggested and try to let yourself go for a little bit. Have fun. Hang out with women to enjoy their company instead of just seeing them as a means to an end.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (19 December 2013):
Dear OP,
If I like a guy, I won't mind. I've dated more than one guy who hasn't had a real girlfriend and that was never the reason why it didn't work out (it didn't work out, though, for other reasons).
Rejection etc. is very common in online dating, so please don't let this destroy your self-esteem.
Some thoughts about your self-description: I'd rather date a guy who admitted that he's "shy" than one who says he's "old-fashioned".
With your lack of experience, it's going to be more difficult to find someone, simply because you don't have the knowledge of how it's done. But you know, I have a male friend who has his first girlfriend now at the age of 39 (not lying). He's really happily involved. Nothing's impossible and love can still find you.
If you want a special woman in your life, you have to get more comfortable around women in general. Which doesn't happen if you just meet them online and with the only purpose of dating them. You'll be acting too goal-oriented and desperate, and that's what women sense. Really, I wish for you that in 2014, you'll find some good activities to do with women while not necessarily dating them.
My personal advice is dance classes! It's a very good chance to get to know women, or at least to learn something about them. Don't try to date every dancing partner, just learn how to conversate, how to move around a woman, how to battle your nervousness. And as a bonus you get more physically close to different women as in every other scenario :)! Just make sure you're wearing deodorant and haven't eating garlic before class.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2013): I would think that was strange.He might be a nice guy but....... the fact he has never been with a woman and he is 30 would be a big red flag for me and even more than that, a total deal breaker.I suspect that if you did date someone like this, as time went on, you probably would know why he has never been with a woman...I know he has to start somewhere but do you want to be first?I would not want to be.I prefer a guy who has experience with women... with relationships in general. Experience in the bedroom is a MUST. This guy would have no idea what he is doing and I would not want to be teaching him the basics. I love kissing and I am an expert kisser myself. I would hate a guy who could not kiss me back the way I am kissing him. The same goes for all other forms of foreplay, sex etc. He would have no clue. Sorry but in my book the guy needs to have a clue! LolSome women will not be bothered by the fact he is inexperienced... and this is the type he will need to find....but I think most would not like it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Honestly ? If I read a profile of a guy that has never had, forget a r/ship, but a date in 30 years, yeah, I would think there's something wrong with him. Not wrong like being a weirdo or a monster or anything, mind you, but wrong in his level of relational capacity and social adjustment. Shy is ok, it is even endearing - but 30 years without any no matter how fleeting female presence makes you think of beyond normally shy- maybe sociophobic,or avoidant personality disorder, or maybe cronically depressed.. some sort of emotional malfunction or maladjustement.
Now of course this could be false and you could just be a wonderful guy who' s only been very very unlucky - but you asked what an average woman would most probably think, and I imagine she would think that.
Now, as other posters have said, you cannot change the past, it is what it is - but you can change the present and the future. So, it's not a very original advice, but rather than stubbornly focusing in getting a girl, without having the confidence , the social skills and the emotional make up to substain a romantic pursuit, work on your " shyness " and relational skills. Seek therapy and work on improving your self esteem , self image or ? , whatever it is that made it so difficult for you until now.
And in the meantime, start with feeling more comfortanle around women in general, even in lack of romantic interest, In fact I think that if you can manage to make female friends and aquaintances, and to be social, happy and relaxed with them / around them- well, from there to be around women as potential dates it's just a little ,not too difficult stretch. Try maybe a cooking class, or a ballroom dancing class , something fun but with a strong female attendance. ( Plus, you never know, women are always keen to play match maker and set up their single eligible friends with somebody ).
I would also NOT write or mention that drivel about " having been waiting for the right person "- it just sounds like a lie or an excuse , in real life nobody abstains from human contacts till they find their perfect half apple . They start normally, gradually, in installments. They go out with someone they sort of like, and see if it develops into more. Saying that you never went out with anybody BECAUSE you were waiting for " the one " will make you sound like you are Cinderello waiting for Princess Charming with the crystal slipper.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2013): Not a problem for me OP. I just don't like people who are too shy and I have to do all the talking, once I met a boy who couldn't even look me in the eyes, and who avoided social gatherings because he was too shy, which is a bit off-puting
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 December 2013):
 I love the Swimming with Sharks analogy WiseOwlE mentioned and I think he is spot on with his advice.
I do think that being around women ( no actual need to interact if you don't want to) is a good approach. So is the mini-make over.
If you have any female friend or acquaintances, then ASK them what they think would suit you. Or simply look around on Pininterest (yea I know it sounds odd but there are MANY good style advice, hair suggestions and NOT just for women)
As for online dating, I can't even begin to imagine how scary that must be. But what you may not consider is that some people FORGET that there is an actual human being behind a profile.
And if you "click" with a girl who JUST want to be friends then maybe TRY that. TRY and be friends. Maybe she can later on and down the line when you two have known each other a while, can help you with what exactly it was that made her rather be your friend then date you.
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A
female
reader, desiree075  +, writes (18 December 2013):
I must admit, but wiseowl is not entirely wrong. Humans can smell insecurity from a mile away, and this goes for men as well as women. As for your conversation with the girl above, it would have actually been more attractive to answer, "No." than "Not really." That way you'd seem more like a player who just never WANTED a girlfriend. "No," is straightforward. "No, not really," seems meek and indecisive. The truth is, that women want someone to sweep them off their feet, to teach THEM things. Honestly, this is also true of really strong, powerful, dominant women. Nobody wants to train. I also wouldn't be interested in a guy who is not experienced. Sex is awkward enough as it is. Just for information though: When I met my current boyfriend, I told him that I've only ever had penetrative sex with one person, at which point he admitted that he hasn't touched a woman in two years. This really turned me on for some reason, probably it let me know that he is selective. Still though, it's different from never having had a girlfriend. WiseOwl gave some good suggestions, to join a cooking class (A man who cooks for me is hard to resist!), and a yoga class (or other form of exercise) will release endorphins, and simply soak in the vibes of women, and make it easier for you to joke and talk to them, so that when you are actually ready to date, you've already had practice. It's also good to get out there and join activities that you genuinely enjoy. For example, I took a French course. Not with the intention of getting a boyfriend (I already had one), but for personal enrichment When women see you doing things for yourself, it's much more attractive than to try and win them. Another idea, that I'm sure will be boo-booed on this website, is to hire a personal escort to teach you a few things and get you comfortable with a woman's body. Because you'd be paying her, you won't be trying to impress her and you can learn in a relaxed environment. Just as long as you make sure she's STD and STI free, I don't see anything wrong with this. It could even be a fun little project you've made for yourself. She might even teach you other things, the etiquettes of dating: How to choose a restaurant, how to pay for a drink, the politics of texting. Alright, good luck!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 December 2013):
You could really benefit from therapy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): Do you have guy friends with girlfriends?
You could ask their girlfriends what vibe you're giving off and they might be able to help you?
Or if you feel uncomfortable asking them yourself, ask your guy friends to ask their girlfriends or their sisters.
You could even ask your sisters / cousins etc.
I sympathise with your situation. You're not asking for much and I hope you find the answers you need.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): There are hundreds of profiles on dating sites, and women get innundated with attention. Any reason to drop someone is a good enough reason. Harsh but true. It's not personal. Don't take it personally. Now, if you put in your profile that you've never had a girlfriend, I can understand why people are not responding. But again, it isn't personal - they don't know you, so how could it be?Try and keep your profile short, confident and light. Not too cheesy, nothing about looking for the woman of your dreams or anything like that. One guy who got in touch with me said in his first message he was looking for marriage, he had a delicate soul and was looking for an honest woman who would respect his soul. He then put up links to youtube videos which would help me understand his soul. It was all too much. To start with it needs to be light, fun, easy. Later on we may talk about the yearnings of our souls! But I have to admit I immediately blocked this guy. I didn't even know him, but I felt bad because I thought from the tone of his message that he would take my rejection personally, probably yet another woman he had bared his delicate soul to, who had not looked after it...You may be coming across as too intense or desperate.If you want to carry on with internet dating, remember you will get a stream of rejection just because there are more men on the sites than women. However, I would recommend for your sanity to leave that site, and instead look up local meetup groups in your area. Maybe there is a table tennis evening or pub quiz, or walking group. Just get out there and learn to become more sociable.Don't focus on never having had a girlfriend. Instead focus on getting to know women as people. Learn what makes them tick. Get some female friends. Let them give you some fashion tips - or advice about your hairstyle. Gradually as you are more comfortable with women you will start finding women you 'click' with. Things will develop naturally and you have no need to make a grand announcement that you've never had a girlfriend. I hope you don't stress too much about this but I can understand why it is hurting you. It's not your destiny to never have a girlfriend though! You'll meet someone who is right for you, I am sure.
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A
female
reader, applebite8821 +, writes (18 December 2013):
 WiseOwl nailed it. He said all the things I wish I could say but couldn't say as I might offend you. But he is right.I am commenting on your post because I am currently trying to know someone who is the same type as you. Well, I just became single and my sisters are dying to match me with this guy in their church group. I met him already, we had a group date where we watched my brother at one of his nightly shows at a bar. After the bar, he suggested we go to the church at 12 midnight to pray then we went to have coffee somewhere. Well this guy I would say is the sweetest guy I ever met, and my sisters say he is a true gentlemen. They really like him for me. They said he is not trying to impress me, he is really a natural. But he never had a girlfriend in his LIFE ever!So why oh why has he been single all these years I wonder. He is good looking, he is tall, talks fluently, well-read and is an intellectual person. His father is a well known politician. How weird!My friend, that guy I am talking about is 36 yrs old. And I am very interested in him. But I wonder if he is too shy to pursue me, I don't want to initiate and just fail. That's my dilemma. As for you, if you are approaching 30, please don't waste anymore time in trying to meet the woman of your dreams. Don't go online! Go out! I believe once a woman would get to know you, they will be so impressed by you they will never let you go. That's how I feel right now with this other guy. Listen to WiseOwl, he realy knows what he is saying. Just be confident. Me, coz this guy had never had a GF, it makes me think that maybe he is a closet queen?If you are not gay, go meet girls and join clubs. Blend with people it is not too late. I suggest do not disclose right away that you have never had a GF or it will be a bad impression on women. Because it is just too weird for someone in this modern world to not have any woman. Unless he is mentally incapacitated. I tell you, it is never too late!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): My friend, when online; women have to be weary of creeps and predators. To tell women you're 30 and never had a date;will raise red-flags,and make them wonder what is wrong with you. Such severe shyness is neither usual,nor healthy.
Have you ever been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD)? Growing up as children, it's easier to dismiss difficulty to warm up to unfamiliar people as shyness.
Once you've reached adulthood, and you can't interact with women and form an attachment; that's beyond shyness my good fellow. I'm certain by this stage in your adulthood, you must have sought a professional psychological evaluation of your difficulty with connecting with women?
If you haven't up to now. You should. There are so many factors in a guy that can turn women off. I think the predominant one is weirdness. Instinctively, we are all cautious with people we find strange,for lack of a better word. It is uncertain how they react to stress, and how easily they become offended. Least of all, we don't want to provoke them.
My friend, you shouldn't take the online reactions too personally. That's where people have encountered all sorts of unsavory, if not frightening, characters. You basically issued a warning. So they took heed.
Not only that, but these women are searching for a sure thing.
Not someone that requires tutoring in social interaction and dating. For the most part, these ladies have already been through hell and back. To tell them you've never dated, is saying you're not dating material.
You're not what they're looking for.
Simply put, you just don't publish unusual things about yourself in your profile on a dating site. You just might draw far from the type of people you really want to meet. You seem like a very gentle and easy-going guy. Maybe too easy-going.
I would suggest that you take a health-cooking class and a vigorous exercise class with a lot of women. You need to learn how to relax around women, before you can date them.
The cooking class will give you a skill that will go over well with the ladies, and the exercise class will give you confidence, a healthy attractive build, and exposure to hot ladies. You do not have to approach them; just being around them will avert a lot of your anxiety. Like swimming with the sharks. No offense intended by the analogy ladies!
The fear of rejection is shared by all us humans. Some folks would rather gouge their eyes out, then face it.
You have to be like a bobbing-toy. Weave and bob, but you can't fall down. You pick yourself up and keep trying.
There is also the problem of looking the part. If you're a little different and your appearance is demonstrative of your personality. That can be remedied by just getting a make-over. Don't wear haircuts that make you look like a serial-killer or totally surprised. If you wear glasses; be sure they're modern and stylish. The old-fashioned thick lenses make your eyes look scary. Avoid that.
I have never been one to advocate being superficial or phony. However; if you notice women put-off as soon as they meet you. Then you have to take a look at what they see.
You also have to shed the creep-factor. Hard stares,heavy sweating, nervous shakes, choppy breathing. Anxiety-induced
voluntary and involuntary body language that scare people, or make them nervous. You have to be self-aware, but not self-conscious. There's a difference.
Even if you're a hunk, but strange. Strange women will avoid you. Men just can't get by with the weird-factor.
Joining clubs and volunteering for charities gives you
exposure and may open some doors for you. Getting out and just being a part of society is more important than dating; until you seek professional evaluation for any possible anxiety disorder. I hope this didn't come across unkind.
I hope you are not conflicted about your sexual orientation.
Considering the fact women can be the most gentle and accepting creatures on the planet. Oh, they can be pretty mean too, if you cross them. Gay men are worse.
Women will over-look many flaws. It is quite unlikely every attempt to connect is a failure. It's more likely "the failure to attempt." That may be due to a fear of women; or the opposite...idolization.
Holding women sacred is nice; but you have to make one your partner, before idolizing her as a creature of wonder. You have to consider yourself worthy of these earth-bound angels. It starts by being able to approach one and not scare her into flight. You have to become lady-bait.
I know you want to hear from the ladies. Their opinions may be more valuable to you. I hope I gave you food for thought and a chuckle, if nothing else.
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A
female
reader, Glauce  +, writes (18 December 2013):
My BF is 50 year old and I am his first GF. He is amazing!
In fact I have been married twice and many realtionships with awful results.Some of my bfs were nice,but didnt work out.
Now,my actual BF told me he was waiting for someone to have a relationship because he didnt want to suffer. He wanted someone that had the same interests,same mind,same hobbies,and someone that would understand him,or else he would never have some one.So,we got to be friends and now we are together.So,dont be discoraged.If you want someone,go after her.You have to know what you want thought.Make a list of what you expect in your woman and go after THAT. Dont accept anyone.Go after the one that YOU want,the characteristic that YOU want.
Good luck.Your love is out there.Go look for her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): Its deffinitely not a terrible thing, it's just very unussual. People want to be with someone, for different things and many things: sex, companionship, have family. That's why at a certain point they find a mate. Relationships are work. Some people are just not good in being in relationship. They sabotage it without even starting it.I am not saying you did that, but it is somewhat suspicious why would a 30year old person , man or a woman never could find anyone they liked and kept this person.I ll tell you a little story. Long time ago, to be exact 15 years ago when I was in my late 20s I met a guy. He was in his mid thirties, good looking, smart, business owner. I really liked him. He was good in sex, and I loved spending time with him. I couldn't understand why he never talks about his previous relationships. In 2 months when I left him I understood why, because he never had them longer than a couple of months. When we were dating, he was very critical of me, he was not helpfull, he wanted a specific kind of woman: independent, and never wanting anything from him. I was with him as long as I could tolerate this and then one day I just left. Since then I got married, had children, and once I ran into his brother. I asked him about this guy, and his brother told me that after all this time he never got married. So, now he is 50, his chances on finding a mate are even slimmer that they were before. I think when these women see that you never had relationships before, they may be thinking that you are a difficult case, and no one wants to do so much work. I would advice not to disclose this to women. Let them get to know you first, and then you can be honest with them if it's nessesery.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (18 December 2013):
 Many people had been bullied in school and that's not really a reason for never having a girlfriend. I think it's less off putting if a guy only had short term flings than nothing at all, not even a kiss. It has nothing to do with respect either. I would cringe at the word respect even when it comes to sex. You could lie and women can still tell that you have no experience.
I don't know what to think about men who have no experience because I never met one. If I were you I would try a church or a foreign lady with a marriage mind. Just make sure they are not scams.
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A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (18 December 2013):
What site is this? These girls seem young and immature. I am a 27 year old girl and I think it would be so sweet if I was a guys first girlfriend. You just haven't met the right one. None of these girls are worth your time or effort and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. You're normal and great and I'm sure the right girl will like you regardless! It's really not a big deal. Go out there and meet girls in the real world. Usually people find love when they are doing things that they love doing like if you enjoy outdoor adventures, you can join a meetup group with similar interests and maybe meet the girl of your dreams. You just need to take every opportunity to go out no matter what! You won't believe how many people you'll meet in a night simply by going out and looking your best. Always look nice, even at the grocery store. Be open to approaching girls, we WANT you to approach us...trust me!! Just do it!
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (18 December 2013):
 My man in your culture it is a huge turn off. Yes a guy can be kind sweet generous n all that which women but what youre doing isnt masculine to them. Its soft. Too soft. I say this respectfully. Solution: Get laid anyway u can. Read books on confidence n portraying yourself as an alpha male. Women get instantly wet when they see a man with a mountain of self confidence. Yea youll find the right one someday but right now u need experience n sadly your culture laughs at lack thereof. Blend in adapt n get 'in there'. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): My dad didn't get married till he was 50 and claimed he never had a girlfriend before that either. But he was a Catholic Priest and he married a former nun. I think he's one of the kindest people on Earth, but even my mother said that he wouldn't have had a chance with anyone else. Yeah, it is off-putting when a guy hasn't had a girlfriend before and the older he gets, the more off-putting it is. It's not just lack of experience sexually, it's lack of experience in dating and being around women. And, fair or not, most women think that if a guy hasn't done anything, there's a reason. No matter what that reason is, they freak out and run off before the "reason" gets her. I never wanted to be anyone's first because I was afraid I would hurt them somehow and ruin them and then they would get mad and get back at me by spreading rumors that I was easy or tell people what I "did" to them to keep them from even approaching me. (That has happened NUMEROUS times and what I "did" to the guys? Broke it off when I saw they were heaqding out of friends zone and into boyfriend zone. That's it. That's all I did. But it made me evil.Now I don't know if you put out "just friends" vibes, but when a guy does, it's a HUGE relief for me and I feel betrayed when he gets sexial with me. In fact, I have the problem where guys don't want to be just friends, they want to be friends with benefits (that means just sex, the "friends" part is a misnomer) or they want a serious relationship where I'm expected to throw all my energy into it (especially the sex part). Yuck.So my issue wouldn't be with you specificaly, but the idea of being the one who ruins someone for everyne else, or being with someone who doesn't read me, doesn't get me. Maybe that's it: there is some non-verbal message these ladies are sending out and you're not "reading" it. It may be unconscious on their part so it's ahrd for them to spell it out to you. Except for the girl who acted nice and immediately blocked you. That was cruel and I hope someone uses that cunt and makes her feel like shit on a street in a ghost-town. I hope she feels like shit about herself, I really do.Only thing I can think of is that maybe you give an example of your profile here (WITHOUT your real name/location etc) and some of the things you've messaged women (as long as you don't reveal HER information) so maybe we can see what the problem is. Huh And if you want an old-fashioned woman, maybe hanging out in pubs and clubs isn't a good idea. Try a church or other place of worship (if you're into one) and get really, really involved. I think people in pubs and clubs take "Old fashioned woman" to mean "lets men walk all over her, lives like it's 1950 and the man is the boss of the house, shuts her mouth and opens her legs to become a baby machine for her man ..." Not saying that's what you want, but that's how it might be coming out. Just throwing that out there.
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