A
female
age
30-35,
*ubyrose
writes:how long do girls usually wait to take their tops/bras off while making out?i dont want to give him the impression that i want to go faster witht he physical stuff, quite the opposite- weve only known each other for almost 2 months.. and i regret allowing this because i fear it may give him the wrong impression?im 21/virgin/first relationship Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): I've checked the manual on dating. There is no firm and fast rule for bra removal, however it clearly states the obvious: Bra removal eventually results in pregnancy.
Did you really think removing your bra was going to lead anywhere else? You don't put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it. If you are ready for a kid and can afford it, go ahead. Rip your bra off and run naked through the streets. Otherwise, keep your clothes on until you are ready. People used to like to wait for marriage before having kids, but it's a free country. Just keep this in mind - bra off means pregnant. Don't act like you weren't told about it. I don't care if you are a virgin.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): I have been quite comfortable with a woman undressing herself on the first date. We can still be at the restaurant for all I care.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 It all depends on your comfort level. If you're comfortable with what you're doing then it's fine. If you're uncomfortable then tell him so and he shouldn't try again if he's a good guy. The key is deciding how you feel about it and communicating that to your BF. FWIW, I seriously doubt you've given him the wrong impression.
Here's a little insight about guys. We'll try even when we think we're not going to get anywhere. Telling us not to do something sexual doesn't turn us off unless it is every time we start getting intimate. Set your boundries and stick to them. Make them known so that he doesn't try to push them. He'll probably still try, but as long as you've communicated what you will and won't do before hand, he has very little to argue with you about if he doesn't like it. Besides, he doesn't have to like it. It's your body and your choice.
As for telling him, it's best if you just do. Reassure him that you like him, but you feel you've moved faster than you're ready for.
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A
female
reader, rubyrose +, writes (18 November 2010):
rubyrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the replies--keep them coming
its been done- he tried to remove my bra on our 5th date, i only allowed it on 7th..
yeah, deffinetely not ready for sex or anything below the belt..so should i just keep my top on in future then, and talk to him how i think i got a bit carried away and dont want to give him the wrong impression about where i stand with the physical side of the relationship? any advice with telling him this?
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 pinktopaz is right. If you start taking your clothes off he's probably going to assume that you guys are going to be moving on from kissing to having sex, which I'm guessing you're not ready to do yet. Does he know he's your first boyfriend? If you talk to him and explain that you're new at this whole relationship thing and that you'd like to take it one baby step at a time he should understand. And remember, he can feel your body when you've got your clothes on, so I'd try maybe letting him touch your chest or just your torso in general, if you're not comfortable with him doing that, then you're not ready to start taking your clothes off anyway. Just do what feels right and what you think you feel ready for. Like I said, one baby step at a time :)
Good luck! xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): Yes, do not per se give in to the situation. Intimacy is all about timing and if you feel the time is wrong for whatever reason in your relationship, you should not do that. Just wait...theres no harm in that as being sure and comfortable is a great security and will help intimacy flow better (well, not literally) lol...but waiting will help your relationship because it shows you respect and care about the decisions being made within it. Good for you. Things will come along at its right time. Good luck
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (18 November 2010):
So you have removed your top and you're wondering if you had moved a little too fast? Or are you asking when is it appropriate to remove your top during a relationship when making out?
Honestly, I don't think there's really any "normal" time a girl waits as far as removing her top. Removing her pants...that's a different story lol. But keep in mind the pant removal usually comes after the top removal.
I think that if you're just making out and doing some heavy petting and it's been about 2-months...removing your top probably isn't going to give him the wrong impression and think you're "easy" or anything of that nature. However, when you start to remove articles of clothing, it does make him start to believe he's going to get lucky and he might start to get frustrated and think you're teasing him. So if you're not ready for sex, then it's probably best to keep as much of your clothing on as possible!
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A
female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (18 November 2010):
i don't really understand your story. did you already make out and seeking help to see if you was wrong or are you planing for the futture??
if its for the future i think you should wait for him and he himself will remove the bra as such there will be no worry if you acted too fast
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