A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I'm sure you get this one a lot. But I can't find any good answers on the internet.Theres a girl called (randomly thinks of name) Ellie. I've had a crush on her for a while now. I can talk to her, and she's great, not like other girls giving one word answers, she actually has a conversation back. We have nice chats and that. We share some tv interests in common, X factor, etc but we've pretty much covered those, and I'm worried of doing them to death, and appearing boring, or getting on her nerves making her think "oh hes not talking about such and such again."I get on well with her, but I run out of things to say, and I get nervous, and eventually fall to pieces. She's not the one who walks away from me, I feel awkward and end up bailing out, pretending I have to go do something.I want to ask her out to see a film, but don't know if its too early or not. im also scared of rejection and the embarassment that would ensue.So 3 problems there really, running out of conversation, feeling nervous and fumbling, and lack of confidence to ask her out.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 *Sigh* That's why you ask her in person. It is much much harder to say no to someone to their face. Still, congratulations for making the attempt. I wouldn't give up just yet. Keep talking to her and try again in a month or so. Next time suggest one thing and if she says no, then say ok. Don't go for a follow up right away. Just propose something different the next week.
Face to face, that's the best way to do it. It's harder, but usually has better results.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I asked her on facebook and she said no to the film saying she was already going with her friends and when I asked her if she'd be interested in seeing a different film or doing something different instead, she just said no sorry.
:(
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (17 November 2010):
The way I see it you've already done the hard part, and that's initiating conversation. Since you're already talking to eachother just ask her out like aunt honesty said. Everyone is afraid of rejection, and there is no easy way to get past it other than diving in.
I really liked the way aunt honesty laid it out though. If she says no to the movie, it doesn't mean no to anything else. Don't give up, just don't be a pest.
If you're ever looking for conversation topics, a good place to look is headlines. Check out the BBC webpage in the morning and talk about some of the headlines. Not only will this show awareness of what's going on in the world, there will always be something out there happening that can be discussed. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Cutiejblover18  +, writes (17 November 2010):
Alright well, clearly this girl must like u back, and if I were u go for it man just ask her out, girls don't like waiting, and the prefer the guy asking them out you want her to lose patience.. So go for it just say hey (Ellie )... I was just wodering If maybe you would like to go see a movie some time?. I'm sure she'd say yes, not that many guys are as sweet as you and cute and nervous , alot of girls like that in a guy .. But we hate waiting...
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A
male
reader, BerlinsLoveGuru  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Hehe. I can understand your feeling. It's quite normal. First of all does she have a boyfriend or not? If she has a boyfriend than it's quiete a Problem but if shes single, you have a great chance. So first rule of getting into the relationship is never get scared. Have you not seen an ugly guy walking on the street with a gorgeous lady? How did it work ? So its just a confidence that plays the whole role. Be cool infront of the girl and never try to be what you are not. Be down to earth. Girls love the guys who are humble and down to earth. Try to be funny but not very funny, making joke out of yourself, compliment her , example : your teeth are very pretty, you have gorgeous smile or you have a blue eyes, i never noticed. It usually work. Second thing, kiss her. Its not that hard. Trust me. Dont target mouth at once haha but like gently kiss her on the cheeks, it makes the moment cute and dont talk much or laugh, just smile. Then ask her polietly if she wants to go out for a movie or something. Its but quiete easy if you could go to club or something where you can dance. Then you dont have to do anything, enjoy the moment, feelings burst out for itself. Trust me . I hope it helps my friend :) Take care
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A
female
reader, Lothorien10 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Asking a girl out is no easy feat, especially when you're a little shy, and you don't want to ruin your chances with what feels like the girl of your dreams, but don't worry about that because most girls will give you a chance for just trying. But there comes a time when you have to step up and be bold, or forever wonder what if.
A couple of guidelines which may help you:
1. Approach Ellie. Say Hi or Hey, ask a question or give a compliment. It can be scary, but it's pretty simple.
2. Flirt a little! Relax, crack a joke and break the touch barrier.
3.Gauge her interest. Take notice of eye contact, smiling, laughter, and enthusiasm in her responses. When you look at her, look at her face, specifically, her eyes. Pay attention to what she is saying so that when she asks you something, or stops talking, you can continue the conversation intelligently. DO NOT be staring at her body. Very few girls actually like this, and you staring at her breasts will turn her off of you and will most likely take your mind off of what she is saying, which is never good. Read her body language.
Notice if she touches you more often than what friends do (she's constantly trying to touch your hand or something). If she finds excuses to do so, then you're probably on the right track. But conversely, don't assume that just because she isn't touching you that she doesn't like you. She may be too nervous to touch you yet. Likewise, don't start touching her if she isn't making contact with you. This usually scares girls, making them think that you are just after their body, and no girl wants to feel like an object instead of a person.Observe how she looks at you. If she likes you, she will either hold your gaze for a long time or pull away immediately. Either of these could mean that she likes you. If she pulls away quickly, it means she is nervous but she still likes you. If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she likes you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction. Remember that if you are having a conversation, girls tend to look at your face, so don't immediately assume that she likes you if you are speaking and she is listening. Again, look at her face, specifically, her eyes. Don't be thinking about how she kisses, because it shows on the look on your face. Listen to what she is saying and respond.
4. Help her out. Offer to carry her books, or do something nice for her. If she refuses, then wait until she really needs help or comforting, like when she's feeling down or just got really embarrassed. Be friendly and outgoing, and don't be a pervert or you will never get ANY girls.
5. Pop the question. "Hey, why don't you come to the movies with me this weekend?" (It doesn't just have to be the movies - it can be anything you're interested in, and that you think she'll enjoy too.)or you could try "what's your favorite ice cream flavor?" then continue the conversation and offer to treat her with some.
Another good way to ask is "I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?" If she says she thinks it looks good, ask her if shed like to go with you to see it. If she asks "as in a date?" say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves much more than they do the cowardly guy who backs away from it. Make sure to ask her if she wants a snack and buy it for her; it will show that you will take care of her always.Don't make it seem like a big deal when you ask either. Another good way of asking is just by saying "I was wondering if you would maybe want to go to a concert this Saturday night. I think it would be fun if we both went together." But it can be something else besides a concert.
6. Keep your cool if she says no. Respond gracefully, like "No problem! Maybe another time." and SMILE. Act as if you don't need her, because that will make her want you more. Change the conversation to something else, or if you just want to get out of there, talk for a bit longer, following the rules from above, and then pretend you just got a text message from your mom saying you have to get home or call her or something. Don't be harsh about it. If you're too hard, she might feel guilty, as if she was supposed to say yes. And go about your business - As they say, there are other fish in the sea!
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A
female
reader, MurdleturtleMP +, writes (17 November 2010):
Okay you have the courage # 1 to ask her out but you need to muster it up. If you two have had all these talks then she is INTERESTED seriously or she would be a one word Nelly like the other girls. So the reason you may be running out of things to say is because you are consumed with the fact that you want to ask her out and once you do the world of talking will open up and there will be a million things to talk about! The movie you just watched, the food you just ate, your families etc. Do not be afraid of rejection just nonchalantly ask her "Hey, I know you want to see (name a movie she has shown interest in) I also want to see it, want to go together?" Then see what her reaction is or what she says then elaborate with "We can make it a date maybe catch dinner before the show? Or whatever you'd like to do Ellie." Seriously once you get those words above out & she shows interest the rest WILL fall into place! Then your problem will be kicking yourself for not doing it sooner! Let me know how it goes please? Especially if you think it will work or you can always do the old ask her closet girl friend & see what she says about the 2 of you. Good Luck & you can do this plan for this weekend!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Ok first off its never to soon to ask some one to go and watch a movie with you, so next time you are talking to her casually ask her what kind of films is she in to, get talking on that and then ask her is there anything currently in the cinema that she would like to go and see, if she says yes such and such then just simply ask her aw would you like to go and see that with me some night this week, if she says she cant then just pass it of and say that its ok. Plus the cinema is a great place if you are feeling nervous of conversation running out because you dont talk through a film in the cinema so it is perfect for you. Go for it you only live once, and if she turns you down just remember it was only a movie you asked her to go and see you didnt exactly tell her you loved her or anything so there is nothing to be shamed about, but if you want my honest opinion i think she will say yes because she wouldnt talk to you if she didnt think you were a nice guy.
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I tell you what, most of the time we can't remember half of what we say on our first date, or first phone conversation. Dating, and asking on dates is extremely awkward. For guys, it basically comes down to pushing past the lameness phase.
Don't feel you need to fill up your conversations either. She can do some of the talking. If you are having friendly chats and she has no boyfriend, it is not too soon to ask her out. The greater danger is asking too late.
Remember, the worst thing that can happen is she will say "no."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): If she's still talking to you, keep it up. Why not invite her over to your place to watch X-Factor? That would show her you want to spend alone time, but also give you some food for conversation. Also, once you have her in your home, you will be more comfortable with her to expand your conversation topics.
Just stay confident and let her know she's special! After an X-Factor night, dinner wouldn't seem like a stretch at all.
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