A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:A long-time family friend (we are both divorced; he has been attracted to me for some time) suddenly contacted me, we started to text message/phone each other, and went out on a few casual dates. This changed our friendship but over a period of 3 months, however, we went out together only about 5 times. He sometimes didn't call or TM when he said he would, or didn't call/TM until a few weeks later. I often took the initiative, because of our well-established friendhip. When we did talk (in person or on the phone), he always remembered things I had told him, etc. and made me feel like he was very interested in me. But during our last call, he suddenly said "I'm too busy, I've got to go to a meeting" and hung up. That was it. Never heard from him again and I have not contacted him since. I hate the way he ended our relationship, feel like I have lost a close friend, and am really confused about what he really wanted from me. Am I doing the right thing by not contacting him? What do I say next time I see him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): Thank you so much for all the replies. I have found a lot of strength in your answers. My "friend" has called me three times (I wasn't home) but not left a message, and I have not returned the calls. I'm hanging in there emotionally and moving forward in my life. It's tough sometimes! I have learned so much.....
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 I think seeing him at the movies was the closure you needed. Being the good person you are I think taking the high road if you see him again could salvage your friendship, if you still want it. I would shy away from ever getting involved with him again as his actions could say he was a bit immature. I realize it would have been difficult for him to say "look getting back with my ex, sorry" but completely avoiding you doesn't say much for his ability to communicate.
I agree with Danielpew...you will find someone who is more right for you and this man will be a faint memory. Try not to let what happened get to you too much. It just wasn't meant to be.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 In a way, you should be glad you saw him walking outside of the movie theater. This will spare you the pain and the agony, and will keep your dignity safe. And now you have a good reason to move on and be happy.
Take care, and don't let this affect you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): Further to my question "Am I doing the right thing? and What do I say next time we meet?" - I went to a movie with a girlfriend last week, and saw him walking out of the theatre hand-in-hand with another woman (I think it was his ex-girlfriend, but not 100% sure). As broken-hearted as I am, I now know that I am doing the right thing by not contacting him. If I see him again, I will be pleasant because that is the type of person that I am. I just can't belieive that he treated me this way after being such good friends for so many years.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (27 December 2007):
I'm sorry to say this, but I think he isn't interested in a relationship with you. The time you spent together has led him to think that it's best if you don't get involved with each other anymore. If I were you, I would stay away from him. This is what he wants, and, on top of that, he was rude and disrespectful. I think you should move on.
Don't be sad. These things happen. You tried, and it didn't work out. Just be confident that it will work with someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): It sounds as if he has got 'cold feet' and perhaps was in a difficult situation when you called (meeting or otherwise) and took the opportunity to be abrupt to you. Maybe deep down he is not sure about how things should go between you and this came out in the manner in which he spoke to you. I'm not making excuses but this could be a reason. Sometimes when things like this have happened the other person will be feeling bad about their attitude or what they said but doesn't know how to apologise. Can you email him how you feel? Write even? Perhaps you need to give him an easy 'out' or 'back in again' depending on his feelings - either way maybe you need to say stuff just for closure. Explain you are bewildered and just need to understand where things are at. If he still doesn't reply then you have done all you can.
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A
male
reader, dc.ryan  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Hello,
You obviously want to continue your friendship with him, and you shouldn't be ignoring these feelings. The best thing you can do is simply pickup the phone and ring or text him, ask how hes been - say its been a while, fancy going out one evening etc.
Chances are hes wondering where you've been to, but has not had the courage to contact you - because perhaps he thinks you are angry/upset with him?
The only way you are going to find out is by talking to each other, catchup - what harm is it going to do by seeing one of your friends?
Ryan
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