A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do i resist the temptation to cheat? I have been with my girlfriend for four years and i have always been faithful but every now and then a very very tempting offer comes up. A couple years ago a gorgeous girl started working with me and we would flirt a lot and she even tried to kiss me but i stopped it. I left the job because it was far too tempting, she was a knock out. and then another girl came along at my college who was in two of my courses and she was as hot as they come, and very raunchy, she told me stories of her escapades with other men, i think she did it on purpose to turn me on. I still get hard just thinking of her, but I never did anything. Anyway, there are always beautiful women around and I always get urges to kiss them or do other things with them, and then i end up thinking about them when i am fooling around with my girlfriend. I cant remember the last time I had sex with her while actually thinking of her, but i do love her. so now, at my new place of work, there is this woman who i have sexual chemistry with, and it has been blossoming over the past three or four months. she has asked me to dinners and such and I have declined and told her that I have a girlfriend. She says she understands, but she keeps tempting me by wearing short skirts and things.I don't know what to do, I don't want to quit my job again, but there is no way for me to escape this girl unless I do quit. I haven't told my girlfriend about any of these women who I have had flirtations with because I know she would not understand, she would get annoyed probably. Do I continue to work here with this girl? I have turned down so many women and I feel like every time I turn them down it gets harder and harder. I have been good though, I have never kissed them. My girlfriend trusts me very much and I would hate to let her down.I can't get this other woman out of my head, and would love to have just one night being single so I could have her. If I tried to do this my girlfriend would never have me back, she has made it clear that she doesnt want me to sleep with any other girls. Do I try to make her understand that this is just the way guys are?? I don't think she would get it but sometimes I get so frustrated by the temptation that I wish I could explain it to her, maybe she would let me relieve some of my stress. I do love my girlfriend and she is great in bed and we have sex often, so i'm not sure why I am always so tempted, but it is getting hard to resist. I am looking for tips from all the guys out there who have faced similar situations.... I'm not sure if I can turn down sexy women anymore... it's so difficult.
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female
reader, juliemc  +, writes (26 December 2007):
Sorry im gonna get straight to the point.
If u find yourself tempted to be with other girls whilst proclaiming to love your girlfriend you are only kidding yourself.
Finding someone attractive is totally different, but to be tempted into actually having sex with someone else is a another story. Maybe you need to take a short break from your girlfriend to see exactly how much you miss her and if you really do love her, or if you've just gotten comfortable in your relationship. Its not fair to either of you, if you have feelings towards other women, even if you think they are just sexual.
Maybe this would help to rationalise why you get these urges, even if it means letting your girlfriend go, because you don't feel the same way about her as maybe she feels about you.
Good luck
A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (26 December 2007):
 'The way guys are' well you seem to be doing pretty well so far, why give up now? You should tell your g/f about this and she'll properly be able to help you or give more strength into you. If not, then dump her, dont hurt her feelings even more by cheating.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 December 2007):
 I understand the wants, the attraction, the desire, et cetera. I won't tell you that part is wrong because you have eyes and you're young. I will say two things:
A) If you're committed to someone else, it's wrong to give in to these wishes.
B) You need to have a clear picture of what you want in life. Sex is meant to be a very enjoyable part of that, not the ruin of it. I sort of don't believe you when you say you quit your job in order "not to give in to temptation". I have a feeling that maybe you got into trouble and had to quit. Anyways, that's none of my business. If you really had to quit your job in order not to give in to temptation, your penis isn't helping you. We men do notice women, of all ages and types, and you get the attraction all the time. But we need to think.
Let me give you an example. A friend of mine felt so unmanageably attracted to the sexy wife of his boss, who was flirting with him all the time and even told him what time the husband wasn't home. Can you imagine why this friend didn't give in to temptation?
And then, you're expecting too much from your girlfriend. You want her to "let you relieve some of your stress". Let's tell it like it is. You're expecting her to let you cheat. I don't think she will agree. With good reason.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): lets put it this way attraction aint in high heels and mini skirts its inside you,dont be a fool
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