A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24, my husband's 26, and we've been married for 3 years now.We have a good lifestyle and our sex life is good. My husband is a very nice person, well-liked and popular and doesn't get jealous when I'm with other guys or on girls' nights out. We also both want children as well.However, the issue of children has caused my husband to suggest an idea which I find bizarre - but my husband insists on it.We were discussing the issue of children a few days ago and we both agreed we wanted children. However when he suggested the following idea below I felt shocked...He said that rather than have children with me, that he will hire a male prostitute for me to have sex with. He says he won't watch me and the prostitute having sex as that would be wrong, and he'll make sure the prostitute is of the highest quality and is my type of guy. He said he'll also make sure the prostitute can have sex with me for a long period of time until I'm pregnant, and he insists this is a good idea.He said "A male prostitute is a good way to have kids, that way I can have passionate sex with you!"After he suggested the idea to me, I told him it was a really bad idea but he insisted it's the best way for us to have children.I told him no way, but he still keeps on insisting it's a good idea.I asked him why he thinks hiring a male prostitute is a good idea and he said "It just is. Think about it, you get a great-looking guy and you get to have children as well, and I get the passionate sex with you at some other time!"But my husband is great-looking enough, I don't need another guy to pleasure me, however my husband will not stop insisting I should just have sex with the male prostitute in order to have children for us.Now I know why my husband kept asking me what my ideal type of guy was. I thought he was jealous of other guys at first, but now I know what his real intentions wereHow can I convince him his idea is a really really bad one?? We get on well, and agree on a lot of things, our outlooks in life are fairly similar, but as regards this particular issue my husband just will not relent - how can I solve this thorny issue??please help me, Dawn in Leicester
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jealous, period, prostitute, sex life, want children Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (7 January 2008):
 From our resident faker, closed.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 I also think he wants to use this as an excuse to dump you. The story is so ridiculous, who would believe you if you did get pregnant.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (7 January 2008):
DO NOT bring any children into the marriage with your husband. SOmething is going on here. It could be a host or reasons. Maybe he is sterile, maybe he is worried about passing a disease to his child, maybe he has a madonna/whore complex that prevents him from making you pregnant. Lastly, maybe he figures that as long as the kids are not "his", he does not have to deal with the pressures of being a father, esp if things go bad. It could be that he does not see a long term future with you.
Regardless of the reason, this is a RED FLAG. Run.
Make sure your accounts are in order, and seek the advice of a family lawyer. Get a recording of this request of his, and the conversation.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, SilverSong86  +, writes (7 January 2008):
I think the others have answered this question well enough, but the thing that kept striking me was that your husband said that the other guy could do the pregnancy sex and then he would come in for the "passionate" sex. Perhaps the idea of sex for procreational purposes turns him off and he doesn't find it arousing. Maybe you could ask him why he separates the two kinds of sex? Just a shot in the dark. Good luck to you and I hope you guys make it through with your own children in the end!
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A
male
reader, mattbea +, writes (7 January 2008):
 may sound harsh but like somebody says he is either sterile or the harsh bit.. he might not be too keen on having children of his own as such yet/relationship matters? CSA? i cant say as i dont know you or him but just something here that might help ya out ;) p.s dont do it if you dont want to
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Hi,
I almost didnt post this question as I thought it a cuckold fantasy masking as a real question. I hope I'm right.
It is just so bizarre, the first thing that popped into my head was maybe his is sterile and you dont know it. This could be his way of ensuring you get what you want.
Other than that I have no idea, for a start what "clean" male prostitute is going to want to have unprotected sex with your wife. These guys are professional these days and they need to keep their equipment clean so they can make a living, it's their job remember , they are not acting out fantasies merely helping those with their own, convincing one to father your child is absurd.
I think your husband needs help, and quick.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (7 January 2008):
 This is probably the most bizarre thing I've ever heard a husband suggest to a woman he claims to love. Trust me, it's a terrible idea and thank God you thought so too. Please don't go through with it. Simply tell him there are three ways you'll consider having a baby. One is to adopt a child. One is the old fashioned way with only the two of you in the bedroom. And one is if your husband puts his sample sperm into a baggie and has it injected into your vagina. And I suggest that until he starts talking in these terms, you should forget about having a child together. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 I think something is the matter with your husband. I won't say "normal", but it's not "usual" to find a husband who wants his wife to sleep with someone else. And it's even more rare the man who wants to raise somebody else's child. If he wants a child, why can't he impregnate you himself, particularly since you have a good sex life?
I find a connection between a) his not caring whether you go on a girl's night out with other guys, and b) his being very much interested in your sleeping with a male prostitute. It means he doesn't care whether you get involved with anybody else. I would have serious doubts that he really loves you.
I find it also very disturbing that you and he agree on having children, and then he drops the bomb of saying that the children have to be by another man. He sort of denies your wish of having children BY HIM, which is the heart of the matter for you.
Something is the matter here, I'm sure. I can't really tell what, but your husband is hiding a hell of a lot.
If you don't want to sleep with another man, he can't force you. You're not his toy.
And then, I don't think there is a solution to this. He won't relent and neither will you.
If I were you, I would leave. I can't stop thinking there's something big behind this.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (6 January 2008):
 I don't think it's unreasonable to tell him you don't want kids this way. It seems totally bizarre that he doesn't want to be the biological father to his children and I wonder if there's something he might know that you don't... like maybe he already knows he's infertile and thinks you would leave him if you knew??
Also, the whole idea of being impregnated by a prostitute. I don't understand, even if he wanted to your child to have the best genetic gene pool why he would suggest you sleeping with someone who has likely had sex with hundreds of women, might have all sorts of diseases and other undesirable qualities. What's wrong with a sperm donor for example? A little less seedy and weird than a prostitute? I think so...
I am very curious by your husband's reasoning and I think you need to get him to own up to the real reason why he's acting strangely. After all, a guy who comes up with a stupid story like that just to get you off the scent, well is a guy who can't be honest with you really someone who you want to be a father to your children, be they his or someone elses?
I'm so intrigued by this that I hope you'll write a followup, either publicly or privately to me by email to let me know whats going on. Good luck!!
CD
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