A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy for four months. While that may not seem like a long time, we had a strong connection, all our friends also said we were perfect for eachother. Out of the blue he broke up with me. To add to us breaking up, we live an hour apart, saw eachother on weekends, I am in my last year of college he has one more year (he goes 5 years). He said he still liked me when he was breaking up and that Iwas an awesome girl. He broke up with me citing the distance, saying when he was with me he had the best time but when he was apart from me he was turned off. He also said towards the end he wasnt 100 percent into us. He said he wants to keep in touch and see eachother occasionally and see where it goes. HE said in 6months to a year if I dont hate him we could get back together. He also said he had thought he was ready for a girlfriend but he wasnt. (Im his first gf since high school) I cant say I hadnt thought that I wished I had met him when I lived closer (say after college). Does this ever happen that a guy really isnt ready for a GF at the moment and maybe if you have a strong connection it could work out someday? Or is he stringing me along or trying to breakup with me in a nice way? Do you think if someone leaves you (for whatever reason) you should never look back b/c they left you in he first place? I am moving on and not waiting for him, but I can't deny that right now I am hoping it will work out one day.
View related questions:
broke up, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 December 2007):
 I suppose you must be feeling confused with his behavior and what he says. I believe you need clear-cut answers. Here you have mine.
He spoke softly and with sweet words, but he broke up with you all the same. Some people would think this is a nice way to break up, but I beg to differ. If they are dumping you, at least they should be very clear about it, so that you don't cherish any hopes for the future.
He is talking about a vague period of time when you might be together again. This is false hope.
Also, I must say that I don't understand that "I'm not ready for a girlfriend" thing. If someone can explain, please do; I can't wait for the heavenly light to shine upon me. When I hear something like this, I believe that what people really mean is "I don't want to be your boyfriend/girlfriend anymore". I'm not sure what it means to be "ready" for a girlfriend. If it means you're not over someone, then what you should say is "I'm still thinking about someone else". Because obviously you would be ready for the person you're not over yet. So I think this is a so-called "sweet" way of dumping you.
I'm not sure whether you can make a strong rule about never going back to a person. But, I think you shouldn't go back to this guy even if he asked you. You need someone who is sure of what he is doing. Who can tell whether he won't come back again, saying he "thought he was ready" once again? As I see it, he's out of chances.
Take care, and don't let this get to you. See this as a new beginning.
|
