A
female
age
41-50,
*touts4life
writes:I have a problem my 17 year old son is dating a 17 year old girl. They have had a baby recently but the worse problem besides they are teens is a year to year and half ago my sons girlfriends moms live in boyfriend sexually abused her. she had told us right away social services came out but we had just meet her so we assumed they were told found it was wrong well now I hAve a grand daughter and my sons girl friend has forgiven this boyfriend of the moms (the mom is aware even the boyfriend admited it straight to my face) and is wanting to leave my grand daughter alone with this sick man. Now they claim theyu didnt go all the way but either way police and social services was called which sickens me worse cause they left my grand daughter and the mom in the house. I am sickened by her mom for staying with this man and worries me why my sons girlfriend would wanna leave her daughter with this man all cause he promises to not do it agiain or with the baby. But i dont care promise or not i worried what do i do this is scaring me or am i over reacting is this norm for a daughter to play bff with the offender? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stouts4life +, writes (20 April 2011):
stouts4life is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree about the fact she may have came onto him or whatever but then do i need to maybe be concerned about weither or not it went further and if my grand daughter really is my grand daughter. She seems to make statements that would make one that knows of the situation say hmmm. As a mom I dont care if my daughter did come on to him or not but i could not stay with him for nothing in the world thats another thing that bothers me they excepted him with her what about if he tried with my grand daughter....
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 The matter is in hand, social services AND the police have been alerted and have made their decision. Without knowing what led up to him coming on to this teenager we really (in my opinion can't judge.) We don't know the facts and if she (the teenager) teased or came on to him or if he forced her etc. I'm certainly not condoning what he's done but the fact that he's abused the teenager doesn't necessarily mean he would abuse an infant child.
It might be a good idea to speak to your son for everyones peace of mind and ask him to talk with his girlfriend and NOT to ever let the mum's boyfriend be on his own with the child. Instead, you could offer to babysit or have the child overnight (if they wanted to go on a night out for instance.)
I also recommend that you advise/help your son to find a home for him and his partner to live independently, instead of sharing with someone else.
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, stouts4life +, writes (20 April 2011):
stouts4life is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have talked to my son he agrees with me wehen around me but around her and that family he gives in cause his gf wants to stop the drama. They have filled her head with things such as 1 its partly her fault which it was not at all and two if anyone would find out they could say she a wh#re. So my son worried about how she feels. His gf lives with the mom and gf. I moved my son out to be a room mate with her exstep dad so she would be able to move out to get away. But she dont wanna leave her family (her mom and the moms bf) this is all makes me very worried, since i have spoken up and not shut up called the police and social services which all that has happened is they recomended counseling I dont get to see my grand daughter much and i think thats why my son is backing down to them cause he wants to be in his daughters life. Even if it meant I never see her till she is older I dont want her around that man. This is just so upseting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): You could always contact Social Services yourself and voice you very understandable concerns. It might be ok for the family to bury the hatchet but that does not give them the right to place this child in an danger. They will have no way of knowing if this man abuses the child or not if he is being left alone with her. I'd question the fitness of these teen parents to raise a child when they are making such poor judgements. It might be worth speaking to a lawyer to see if there is any legal action you can take to protect the child.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): So does your son and his GF live with her mom and her mom's BF?
you're very normal to be worried.
your son's GF comes from a very messed up family and unfortunately their baby is being dragged into it.
I think all you can do is talk with your son about your serious concerns. Since him and his GF are both minors, don't you as his mother have legal rights to make decisions concerning their lives?
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A
female
reader, catcher00 +, writes (20 April 2011):
That is a huge problem and you have every right in the world to be outraged. Everyone needs to sit down and have a talk. Be assertive and strong. Firmly state your position that this man has NO right to be alone with your grand daughter. First try to get your son on your side by convincing him it is not appropriate or necessary for the baby to be alone with this man. Tell them you will pay for day care or a babysitter or you will do whatever to prevent this. The bottom line is there is no need for it, given his distant connection ...and it should never happen. Stand your ground!!! If they are not reasonable, them then find a way to catch him in a lie or illegal activity in order to discredit him or even get him arrested. Protect that baby by any and all means necessary. Good luck. YOU ARE RIGHT. Don't let them tell you he's learned his lesson or whatever. Once a pedophile, always a pedophile. There is no cure for that sickness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): No...you are not overreacting. This is concerning the safety of your grandchild and you need to further this convorsation in a higher position.
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