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What can I do? My love has faded. I don't know how to break up with him. And I cry just thinking about breaking up.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I need help..I've fallen out of love with my boyfriend. Been together for six months..i thought he couldn't handle commitment, and that he only wanted sex but he seems to put more effort into the relationship and i can see that he's really changing since i told him how i felt and i wish i was still in love with him..but I'm not. And it sucks, I don't know how to break up with him because i cry just thinking about how it will hurt him. I feel like I've put him through a lot and that he will feel like it was all for nothing. I was his first girlfriend, kiss, and his prom date. I just need some advice on how to make it easier for both of us.. :(

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (2 November 2012):

AskEve agony auntYou did the right thing and it wasn't so bad was it? Well done and good luck in the future.

~Eve~

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So, I told him how i felt and he was pretty calm about it but he wanted me to just hold on for a while longer to see if my feelings changed. So i did. Today he came over and we hung out..and i kissed him a couple times to see if i felt that spark or just like anything, but there was nothing. And when we kissed my eyes were wide open. I wanted to just close them but i was just looking at him. :( Anyway, today we decided to break it off. He still treats me the same though. :) But its a little odd for me because i know that when he gets a new Gf im gonna be a little jealous. Lol. But right now, everything is okay. Thanks guys.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2012):

AskEve agony auntDon't feel guilty, you're doing the right thing and above all you're being HONEST with him. Let me know how it goes.

~Eve~

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the advice. I'm feeling a little better about it. And you are right, its wrong for me to drag him along and try to force myself to love him. I think I'm going to break it off tonight. :/

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2012):

AskEve agony auntI can totally understand your frustration. You like him and don't want to hurt him and you have a history together. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be hurting him more if you continued to see him knowing how you felt... besides, he'll know something's wrong so it's always best to be honest with him, it also shows respect and he'll respect you more for it too, rather than just stringing him along.

I suggest you tell him that the spark has gone for you and no matter how hard you've tried to get it back, it's just not there any more. Let him know too that it's nothing he's done and that there's no one else involved, your feelings for him have just changed and you would prefer just to be friends.

Yes, he'll be hurt. He'll even try to talk you round so be prepared for that but you're doing BOTH of you a favour in the long run. You're both young and will meet lots of different partners before you finally settle down so don't feel guilty about it. He WILL get over it with time.

~Eve~

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A male reader, justaguy71 Australia +, writes (28 October 2012):

Not really any easy answer for this one. You could fake it and hope you fall back in love with him, or tell him you need to take a break for a while and see if you miss him, you might. Or you could just let him go as easy as you can. I hope you can have a long term friendship with him, good luck!

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