A
female
age
30-35,
*ucious L
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now and like any other relationship it had it's 'honeymoon' stage but our 'honeymoon' stage lasted for over a year which was an acheivement for both of us as we never had such relationships before. Sadly I was the one to 'mess' things up by flirting with a guy and he found out about it and got really mad and from then on our relationship went downhill, he started questioning every move I made and I didn't blame him. Since I knew how 'unnecessary' things would hurt him I decide not to tell him or say a little white lie to get away with it but then again he finds out the truth then it's back to square one. After that one time that I messed up, I'd say I did not stop disappointing him, it was a lie after another for two years straight. I've now become so clingy to my boyfriend now that I've stopped lying to him, realised how much I hurt and love him but now it seems he's the one thats taking advantage of me. I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me too, I always did and still do with all my heart and I don't want to lose him but how do we work this out? I believe I need to find inner peace but it's not as easy as pointing out what I need to do, how do I go about it? As much as I hurt him, I believe I shouldn't make excuses for him like 'i hurt him 10 times more so let me just forgive him' because I believe I'd resent him sooner or later if I start doing that. How does one know where to draw the line when it comes to these things (by these I mean the difference between accepting everything he does because 'i've done worse' or am I just loving him beyond his imperfections?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (28 October 2012):
 Why was he shouting at you... because you went out with guy friends? Has something happened in the past for him not to trust you?
You not letting him know where you are just because he didn't let you know where he was is quite petty. Two rights don't make a wrong. Instead you could have reasoned with him that even although he didn't call you, you still called him to let him know what was happening with you.
That being said, I wouldn't make any drama of it when you next see him. If he brings it up then reassure him that HE'S the one you love and they are only friends. Let him know too that you would never jeopardise your relationship with any guy as you love him to bits etc etc.
In the meantime, I'd send him a short text saying sorry you were cut off and reassuring him that you love and miss him and hope to hear from him soon.
~Eve~
A
female
reader, Lucious L +, writes (28 October 2012):
Lucious L is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi there EveHope you get this in time. My boyfriend went out of town this weekend so we had a little argument about him not letting me know he arrived safetly at his destination so he apologised and we moved on from it. Now today he came back but he didn't text or call to tell me his leaving or he arrived so I tried to call him to find out whatsup as the concerned girlfriend then I reached his voicemail. My guyfriends came to visit me and we usually call each other to update each other about what we doing and such now I was kind of annoyed that his phone was off so basically I thought he didn't deserve to know my whereabouts So I didn't even leave him a voicemail or text telling him I'm with guyfriends. We then went to our other friends house in the neighborhood and I bumped into his friends, I figured they called him to tell him I came with guys at a mutual friends get together because right after I saw them I received a call from my boyfriend and he was shouting then he dropped the phone when I call back his phone is off again. What do I do in this situation? I'm afraid I go to his house and he brushs me off infront of his family.
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A
female
reader, Lucious L +, writes (27 October 2012):
Lucious L is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Eve, your rated a 5 star for your answer... Appreciated :)
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (27 October 2012):
You need to build the trust in your relationship again. Start afresh, say nothing about your past, put it to rest and let your ACTIONS do the talking. If you can prove to him over a period of time that you are loyal and honest and put your relationship first and let nothing jeopardise it, then slowly his trust in you will grow again. If you value your relationship and have respect for him then SHOW him by your actions.
Be balanced about it. Let him know what you're doing when you're not together and have your phone on in case he calls (after all you've nothing to hide right?) Gradually the trust will build again. It will be a slow process but worth it!
~Eve~
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