A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf are together about 3 years. First 2 yrs was in the distance, I was in Europe, he in America. About one year we are living in same city, but not together yet. In fact we don't have a time to meet often, we are both working to save money for together living. We didn't start intimacy yet. He said he is not so experienced and he even never propose it. We just kissing, hugging, like a normal couple, but no sex. He is a little shy, even in touching or being close.But recently we meet in his place, he ask me for help in cleaning. He is living with a family, but has own room upstairs. We cleaned, then he go out to buy lunch. I wanted to clean as much as can by this time and accidentally I found two packs of condoms!! Under papers and documents. One was opened and almost nothing inside, second in original vinyl. And in this corner just 2-3 condoms just in opened packet, but still in, looked like he was checking it?? trying?? Expiration time was until last year Sept. I didn't told him that I saw it. What to think?? As for last year he has really no time to meet anyone, I'm sure. But, maybe he prepared for my comming 1 year ago? But in 12 pcs pack left only 4 condoms... he used, tried?? Maybe he betrayed when I was in my country? In same corner I saw also massage lotion, tissues and something like a cup with hole. Like a "self do" set. But condoms?? I wanna talk to him, no other option. But, do you think there could be any explanation? I think I can't belive to him from now on.
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condom, kissing, money, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (20 June 2013):
 Anytime, C. Grant! :)
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (19 June 2013):
 Thanks, YouWish, for the best chuckle I've had this morning. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): Thank you for your all comments. I never never expected that man can use condom for this! I thought it just one option. If I would found it in different place like a pocket or bag, but this big massage lotion bottle, tissues, lotion tissue and cup close to it, all hidden close to PC set made me little confused. And that opened some, just tear and left with all non-used condom in. Masturbation does not shocking me. As for this cup, I saw it twice before, probably he forgot to hide it. But well, I understood, he is a man, and just must let it "go out". When I think could he betray, maybe he could, but he is really shy, all his action looks like a virgin boy. He never brought any girl to home, because live with parents and they know about me. And his touch, kiss is still not advanced. He was in relationship before, but said not so advanced. I never asked how far they went, but 90% no sex. But by the way of other talk, he said sometimes bought condoms. I felt it little strange, bought but no use...I'm from Ukraine so I never thought about this option. Man just do all by "hand-job". But he is Canadian, this country seems more open and more advanced in sex toys. Anyway I will talk to him when I calm down a little. I wanna know his explanation. In that case I will know is he lying or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): Thank you for your comments. I didn't even expexted that man can use condoms to do it! As for cup I saw it before, he put it under PC once. First it was a little shock but I understood. So I expected that he masturbate. Well here in Ukraine guys maybe don't do it by toys. There is no toys, not so much like in U.S. My ex and friends sometimes said about "handjob" so I thought it's only this way.In his room all set was in one place, condoms and big bottle of lotion. I wondered why some condoms are just opened but still in wrapping, even not used. And others, supplements, medicine, other lotions, tissues, wet tissues and all stuff. In his house he would never do this, all family know me so I know he couldn't bring any girl here. So lotion and cup is for "this". Moreover he always said "I have almost no experience with women". He had a girl before, but not so long and no classic sex. But by the way of other talk, he said sometimes bought condoms. That time I thought why he could need it??I see, U.S. guys are just different. You made me a little relief. But anyway I will ask him. I wanna know his explanation, then I will know is he lying or not.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 June 2013):
Heh, One more thing I forgot to mention on here that might put your mind at ease here, and to tell you the truth, I'm in a weird mood, and I want to play with this post for a second. I wouldn't do it if I actually thought your guy was up to no good. God love a man, I've heard of the weirdest contraptions and gadgets guys use to get off, from the elecro-stim to the fleshlight those goofy sex dolls to making holes in furniture, and those are the tame ones!
You know....if what's been said here doesn't put your mind at ease, maybe this will -- truly heartbreaking is the man who has to use the "pull out" method on a cup! I mean, just once, a guy gets to stay in, you know? That's another advantage we women get -- we don't have to interrupt the orgasm, AND we can get multiples! By the time Our Cup Hero disposes of the condom, we women would be on Number 2 or 3 in the session, and our "toys" look a hell of a lot better! A vibrator looks sexier than a cup and a bottle of Slide-Eaze.
Sorry, I don't mean to make light, and I know you're concerned and I respect that. But I think you're okay! If anything, he could USE a fleshlight -- it would be an upgrade from his old flame, Dixie Cup.
(sorry, I'll get out of this thread now! I'm feeling oddly thirsty! heeee)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 June 2013):
You forget -- most of us girls have to put up with a lot that men don't have to (pregnancy, menstruation, PMS), but being a woman does have some good advantages, and one BIG one is not making a huge mess when we choose to uhh..."fly solo". heh. When a guy does it, if he's not in the shower at the time, he has to think about how to handle it.
If he's using a contraption to masturbate to, then his hands won't be using kleenex, or wipes, or socks (ew.). In fact, the cup with the hole would have made clean-up both difficult and unnatural. The hole in the cup is to envision being "inside" someone, and so the condom answered the "mess" question in beautiful form, with the added bonus of making it not feel so "cup-like".
If he had that, I would be 99.9% sure he was using the condoms to have very safe cup sex. :D
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): It's definitely something that you should talk to him about, as it bothers you, and every girl would wonder...
- but i agree with the others, my instinct is that it truly is just masturbation- mainly because of the whole cup- like contraption! It sounds to me as though he's a shy, inexperienced guy - who's nervous about his sexual performance. It's also well known that masturbating increases stamina in guys, so he's probably researched "how to be sexually confident " or such.
And you'd be surprised at how much men do it in general anyway, from what ive heard- many an anecdote! Lol :)
Talk to him :) X
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (18 June 2013):
 I agree with the anonymous poster. It looks like he was using it to masturbate. Don't jump to conclusions. Ask him about it, if it bothers you that much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): Well it looks 'kinda' bad but I know some guy like to masturbate with condoms, my BF told me he did before he met me as it saved the clean up after. I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet but you have to ask him why he has them. Even if it is just to put your mind at rest as it will probably niggle away at you until you do.
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