A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy who I am completely inlove with but everytime we start dating he just stops talking to me and then months pass and he comes back and then he leaves again and that just keeps happening. I told him im tired of him doing that and that I want more I want to be in a relationship im tired of just dating. well we started talking again but we got into an argument and I left his apt and he hasn't talked to me since then. I told him if he leaves my life this time donot come back. well he left and I entered a relationship with someone else..after about 6 months guess who shows up ? Him...and being the dummy that I am I lef my current boyfriend just to date the guy that will not commit to me...and he ended up leaving me againbefore you say leave him alone, I know that. I have to get him out of my life because hes not helping and I understand that I shouldn't respond to his messages or anything.The problem is, Im in a new relationship and I am completely happy but boom here he comes! I told him I donot want to here his crap and I am happy but he keeps bringing up my bf and asking me if I miss him. I still love the guy but I need to know how I can completely lose feelings. I need something more than the advice of stop talking to him because he somehow always finds a way to get my number, or find my address.I am not leaving my new boyfriend but he just wont stop, he claims hes changing and that hes ready to commit but I love my baby. how do I get him to stop, because the more he talks to me the more I start thinking about him, and I donot want to Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! im going to go to the courthouse and see what I can do.
I told him I was going to file a PO against him, and he says hes not afraid, he loves a challenge. Im waiting for him to violate it so I can call the cops and get him locked away so I know for sure he wont bother me!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 June 2013):
 I agree that if you had an RO that his coming to your home would not happen and the police being called would result in him being arrested.
I also know just how hard it is to get an RO or a PO when you feel threatened but legally there is nothing the courts can do.
Sometimes just letting the idiot know you are contacting legal authorities and will be filing for an RO is enough to get them to stop badgering you.
If a man I did not want to have contact with showed up at my door I would tell him he's not wanted, and he has to leave my property and if he does not leave I would call the police and say "there is a man at my door and I am afraid" and have them come talk to him.
you are not powerless unless you want to be.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 June 2013):
 You don't have a true protective order against him, because if you did, if he showed up or called you, you could call the cops, and they'd jail him for violating the order. Anti-stalking laws have seriously tightened, meaning if he calls, there's a record. if he shows up and refuses to leave, you can have him removed and arrested.
Go to the courthouse and file for one. YOu haven't yet done it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionokay so how do I get him from stop getting my address and everything, restraining order isn't working out too much . He shows up randomly and no matter what I say he wont leave until hes ready to leave, ive called the cops they do nothing about it!
I change my number, and block his he still gets ahold of me some how, trying to convince me hes the good guy I know he isn't! I care but I am done falling for his CRAP, I just cant get him out of my life!!!!!
I told my boyfriend and hes been around but I rally don't want anything happening to him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2013):
IF you block his phone numbers and his emails and block him on social media then he can't come into your life or contact you.
if you don't take his calls he can't bring up anything
if you don't answer his messages (you can't see them if you block him) then he can't do anything
YOU are giving him all this POWER.. the question you have to ask yourself is WHY... what is his butting into your life giving you?
do you think it means he cares? it doesn't.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 June 2013):
 Only way this insanity carousel is going to stop is for YOU to get off. That means CUT him off, block his number, block, unfriend him on social websites, do NOT respond to texts, basically pretend he no longer exist to you.
Then you take some time being JUST you before you go out and try dating other guys. GO SLOW.
You know that guy is NO good for you, he is USING you. So WHY do you cling on to the fantasy (and that it is) that he will somehow change and BE the guy you WANT him to be? He isn't that guy.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (19 June 2013):
The reason that your ex-boyfriend is coming back and leaving you .Is he knows he can.You are allowing him to do just that .IF YOY DONT WANT HIM BACK-SAY GOODBYE AAND MEAN IT.Kind Wishes Nora B.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (19 June 2013):
 How many times are you prepared to fall for the same trick? This is a game... For him its to see that he can get you to do what he wants... And maybe you fall for it because you believe that you can make him stay! Get out of the game with him! If you seeing him as a challenge ... someone you can convert to a keeper then don't be fooling yourself again...
If I were you... I would shift the power back to you! Currently he holds the key as he is persuading you and you are slowly falling into his trap... FLIP IT!!! CUT HIM OFF... tell him to drop dead and don't answer his calls! This way ... You would have dumped him!! And you will have control over the situation... Give him some of his medicine! Be tough and cold with this one girl! xx
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 June 2013):
You get him to stop talking to you by deleting him from your email, texts, Facebook, and any other social media he's on with you. You also block his phone number from your phone, barring him from calling or texting you.
Before you do that, tell him you never want to speak to him again, and that he needs to leave you alone for good. If he is digging up new phone numbers or addresses, tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone, you will get a restraining order against him, and that you are no longer interested in any kind of interaction with him.
The whole "I still love the guy" thing is what lets him into your life. You're not serious at all about losing him, and you leave the door open to him, and in the process, you're breaking good guy's hearts for a user. He does not love you.
There's no trick to it -- you simply need to burn ALL of your bridges and mean it. Until you're ready to actually do that, there's nothing any of us can do, because it just takes you to do it. Nothing else will help as long as you keep waffling on your feelings. Think of the guy you're with -- what if he had an ex-girlfriend who was contacting him? What would you want HIM to do in this situation?
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