A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes:I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being careful too cuz i don't want my face to end up on a stupid porn site or any site at all... What should i do? Or should I just send him my picture? What do u think about him?
View related questions:
facebook, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 November 2011):
 READ Maverick answers again... she hit the nail on the head:
"Quote"
1. The phone mystery: why would a young, genuine guy be so careful with his phone around a cute girl? "end quote"
Anyways, good luck with your most likely married 35+ perv living in his parents basement....
Nothing you have posted about him makes him seem like a nice guy.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 November 2011):
 The fact that he won't give you his phone number... BIG HUGE RED FLAG.. he's NOT who he says he is....
please please please be careful.... I know you will NOT listen to us... I just want you to make sure that you are careful... do not meet him, do not give him your address or information so he can find you... do not send more pictures.
no phone? honey that's just not what normal boys your age would say...
it's NOT normal to be a little pervy... and ONLY having girl friends on facebook.... well that's his predator account.. the real account is hidden from you.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 It's ok to be a little bit of a perv....? Oh great. He's grooming you for cybersex or wanking off to your pics or worse trading them or selling them on the Internet.
And no, it's not OK at all because you are a minor ! How old is he btw, and how do you know he IS exactly that age ?
OP, I don't want to be mean, but- what's wrong with you, or in your life ? Why are you so desperate and starved for attention that a couple of compliments by a total stranger are enough to make you take such foolish chances ?
That's the equivalent of,in real life, having unprotected sex with someone you met an hour ago and don't know anything about ( name address status history etc. ). Just because he says : Oh don't worry I am clean, no STDs.
If he tells the truth, fine- but if he does not , you are gambling your life away.
...............................
A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 A lot of people said don't send him a picture until you are sure of him. Yet you send him a picture? I don't understand that. You do not know who he is or anything for sure. People will tell you anything. I would delete all contact now. Be safe.
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (24 November 2011):
 I can't believe how bloody stupid some people can truly be...
Us Brits have stereotypes about young American girls, being dumb, reckless and extremely naive. Now i seriously hope that you are bright, intelligent and cyber safe, but at the moment this stereotype is pretty much reality!!!!
Everything about this is screaming "DANGER, WARNING" You need to leave this 'guy' (probably 40 year old man) the hell alone.
The other posters have hit the nail on the head with their replies. What worries me the most is that you have 23 answers so far, of posters warning you off of him, giving you advice on how to truly find out who this guy is... But i bet you've totally ignored it because this 'guy' (probably 40 year old man) has said that your hair looks cute today!!!
Actually go and read some stories about girls who have been abducted and murdered by 'guys' (mostly 40 year old men) who they met on the internet. Read about what happened to them because if you keep going the way you are doing, you could end up in a situation like that.
If i were you, I would spend less time on facebook and more time staring at a Bieber poster... (or whichever popstar/boyband/girlband you like)
Wake up and see sense, please, before this could go HORRIBLY wrong...
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 November 2011):
 Okay. Don't answer these questions or provide personal info of you or him on here, but let's get detective, okay?
1. How old is he? Is he over 18?
2. If he's not over 18, has he ever been employed? I'm not talking about some cash for mom and dad, I'm talking about earning a paycheck, getting a W-2 and filing tax return sort of employment.
3. Is the name on his Facebook his real name? If it is, is it a name that 10 million people have (aka John Smith) or is it a pretty unique name like Zingabar Focacia? Hopefully it's got something unique to it.
4. Does his Facebook page list a location? A state? A city? Does it list any schools he's attending or has graduated from?
5. On his friend's list, you say it's all females, as in no males at all? Not the best of signs. Is there anyone on his friend's list that shares the same last name he does? Anyone on the wall that talks to him and references getting together in real life?
6. Has he ever sent a direct email to you (from an email address, not a Facebook message)? You mention that you're sending pictures...was that through an email address? If so, pull up his headers and get the X-Originating IP so that you can ascertain the location of his computer.
7. Same thing with the Windows Live, Skype, or AOL instant messenger. Are you chatting live with him using any of those as opposed to simply the Facebook chat engine? You can pull his IP and ping him as well.
8. Does he have his own website? Checking the Whois for it is a good way to pull up info.
9. If he's under 18, has he ever mentioned the names or occupations of his parents? Has he mentioned whether or not he's moved before? Trust me, the conversations you think are harmless (i.e. "What's your kitty's names") can be used to dig up an immense amount of info. Luckily, to someone who is smart, that goes both ways. He's digging info on you with every conversation he has with you, and his being evasive means that he's up to no good, especially with his "perv" comment.
With a true name, his IP address to confirm, and a little digging, you can get his phone number, list of relatives, and a criminal record/employee/education/public records check if you want to spend a little bit of coin.
Google.com and Zabasearch.com are your best friends to start, and those are free. You would be amazed at what you can pull up on people from there. I only suggest that you use those powers *for good* and not to stalk with. heh.
Trust me, I had a friend with a creepy cyber stalker of her own, and within 24 hours, I had his true name, his marital status (he claimed to be single, but he was a married father of 2), his employment history, the fact that he and his wife had gone through a bankruptcy 6 years prior, his phone number and address and social security number). I used a proxy (hidemyass.com) and warned him away from you...and he took off like a shot after deleting everything.
This guy is a predator. He's grooming you. Either stop the relationship, or get the info out of him whether he wants you to or not. Sitting helpless and pleading him to open up only puts you in a more vulnerable position.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 November 2011):
 I think you are being idiotic if you think this is okay or normal or in any way sensible. Ask your mother what she thinks. Yeah, I thought so. She doesn't know you're flirting with a guy who has only girls as friends on his FB. He's a creepo.
Naive girls wind up with their pictures on "amateur porn" sites... you are heading that way. The guy is a perv and you are sending him pictures of you. He's working on you till you send him the pics he wants.
He's a fake and creep and if you told any adult you know about it, they would agree.
Wake up!
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (24 November 2011):
OP, this does not sound good. I don't get how you can be so infatuated with him while you don't know him at all. I know guys like that and they are either massive players or they're simply not who they say they are, which in both cases is bad news. Worst case scenario: you could get exploited and abused before you know what's really going on. I'm happy some warning bells are going off. Let me help you some more.
1. The phone mystery: why would a young, genuine guy be so careful with his phone around a cute girl? Well, the only explanation is that he is not so young anymore and not very trustworthy either. An older guy wouldn't want to risk having to speak with you over the phone because you'd hear his voice is older.
2. Telephone means he can be traced. Facebook is easily faked.
3. He is calling all the shots this way. He gets you to spend time at your boundaries so when the line has shifted you won't even notice. You've sent him your pic. Once you get comfortable with that he'll try something new, until he has you right where he wants. Do you really want to find out what that is?
4. He said it's not bad to be a perv. Sure, it might be sarcasm, but I find it rather convenient he would say that. As if he is rationalizing what he's trying to do.
5. Whatever picture he sends you, please run it through this database: tineye.com. It's a reverse search engine. If he snagged a male model's picture (trust me, this happens more often than you think) it'll show up. The database is far from complete, but it's worth trying it. THAT SAID if it comes up with no hits, there is still no reason to believe he sent you a legit pic. The database is not complete, as I said.
Look. 30+ guys know what to say to make a gal feel special. They have much more life experience. It's easy for them to make your head spin with a few words. Players also have this talent. So please back away. Simply tell him:
"I know I've sent you my picture and I've enjoyed our contact, but you're not the only one looking out for themselves. Since there's no way I can safely verify who you are I'm going to draw the line here. It was nice while it lasted. Bye." And then DELETE him.
The reason why I'm so vehement about this is because my best friend got herself in a bad situation this way when she was 16. She was a smart girl, but gullible, just like you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): He's a player. And he probably isn't who he said he is. Facebook is full of pervs that want to lure in women.
He's probably some 30+ man living in his Mommys basement.
Drop him already.
Trust only boys you know of.
...............................
A
female
reader, izzygurl +, writes (24 November 2011):
izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the question i sent him a picture but with cloths on and he said he loved it. he wants to send me his pic too.
but i'm likeing him so much that i cant even think straight, he told me he liked me, and i didnt tell him i like him. i asked why he still doesnt want to give me his phone number he said not yet...and i told him i'm not one of those internet freaks or pervert, and he said its ok 2 be a little bit of a perv. and i checked his friends list on facebook, there is no male only female...i think its not normal....what do u think?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): hey........ please do not reveal yourself ...... to any one who haven't gained your trust ........... yet........... technology is a blessing at the same time warning...... photoshop can do anything ....send in a group pic....not clear and not possible to crop and photoshop............. or if needed send in a painted pic..... difficult to fit in any other pic....
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Facial pictures don't end up on porn sites... If he just wants to see your face then I don't think he intends to do you any harm. Alternatively you can try the facebook live chat where you use a webcamera.
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (20 November 2011):
If you have a profile picture on fb, refer to that. Tell him that since he's being careful about his privacy he should understand why you are being the same way.
...............................
A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (20 November 2011):
Hello,
Just put your standard picture on your profile. Do not send him any pictures of yourself in underwear or swimming costumes. Just a standard picture on your public profile. That's all for the moment. Wait until you have a trust with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 I just saw your follow up. My answer remains unchanged.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (20 November 2011):
I think you should send him nothing then block and delete him.
Your gut is telling you there is something off about him, besides the fact that he expects you to take risks but isn't prepared to himself. Do you even know what this character looks like? Have you seen his picture?
Don't say another word to him. Pray he forgets all about you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2011):
Don't send him any pictures til you fell like he is worthy of some trust. LISTEN to your gut, it's telling you something is hinkey.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 November 2011):
Are there no pictures of you on your Facebook? It seems strange that if your FB has a bunch of pictures on it, he would be asking for more.
If he's withholding his phone number, that is a prudent thing to do on the internet. But to ask you for additional info while withholding his should put you on your guard.
Tell him to be satisfied with what's already on your facebook page. Take things ultra slow, and verify that he is who he says he is!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2011):
you have no pictures of you on Facebook?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): Watch the movie 'Catfish', it will open your eyes if they aren't already open.
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (19 November 2011):
I can't believe that you even have to ask this question!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T DO IT!!!!
As others have said, block him and let him try his luck with someone else!
...............................
A
female
reader, izzygurl +, writes (19 November 2011):
izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is just askin for a pic...not shirtless pic.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 November 2011):
 No don't do it. Block him. This guy SCREAMS at best creeper and at worst sex predator. Block him and run for the hills.He wants a nude photo and he won't even give you his phone number. Not because he's trying to be safe but because he's not who he says he is.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): No absolutely not, am guessing he wants a 'risky' photo cos the ordinary ones are what people use on their profile for everyone to see.
I would block him and leave him to try his luck with somebody else.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): Your gut already says NO and don't trust him. So how about doing yourself a favour and LISTEN to that natural inner compass that is there to keep you happy and wise.
Don't do it. There is NEVER enough reasons/excuses to go against that inner instinct.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2011):
yes i want to know if he is asking for "adult" type photos in that case the answer is NO do not send them
there are I am sure photos of you on facebook already so he knows what you look like
he's' nice and sweet... how old is he, what does he look like, where does he live, where does he go to school?
do you know these things about him?
he may not be what he says he is
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 November 2011):
What kind of picture is he asking for?
You mentioned porn site. Is it a nude or topless picture that he wants from you? DON'T DO IT! No "nice and sweet" guy would ask you for that. If he's asking for a simple picture of what you look like with your clothes ON, then I'd say it's okay to be cautious with the personal info over the internet. However, nude or topless, no way, no how, never.
Ever wonder why he would want a nude photo of you yet withhold his personal info? It's because he most likely isn't who he says he is. His pictures might not be of him! Have you webcam chatted yet? Have you verified his identity? Time for you to be ultra-cautious as well. Check him out on identity sites. If he has a first and last name, Google it. Zabasearch it. Intellius it to see his true age. Be protective of yourself at all times on the internet.
...............................
|
