A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Three years ago right after having a baby, I found my husband's jacket that he wears everywhere (especially on business trips) covered in body glitter, on the front. He of course told me a female co-worked sat on it after he had thrown it on a chair. And that she wears, noticeably, sparkly lotion. (He works in internet marketing, not a strip club) Due to lack of sleep from having a newborn, I guess I let it go with that answer. Jump to last week, I was moving his clothes from his closet into mine and found a shirt I hadn't seen in years, which he later agreed he hadn't seen or worn in years. The arm pits of the shirt were covered in body glitter. But just the arm pits. On the inside of the shirt. I noticed it while I was hanging it, but I could see the sparkle through the shirt. There was THAT much. It wasn't just a sparkle here or there. He, naturally, has no idea how it got there, and I have NEVER worn any kind of glitter deodorant or anything like that. Something is not right here. I just feel it. Just wondering what other people's opinions of this situation are. Thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): That last answer about deodorant aluminum makes sense. I'm a guy (no girlfriend, but no glittery stripper girls either) and I just found the same thing on my shirt armpits. At first I thought it was just one shirt and I was kind of weirded out. It really looked like glitter. Then I went to get another shirt and realized nearly all of my dark shirts look like that. Frankly, it is so obvious on my clothes I can't believe this is the first time I noticed it. I'm glad I found this post, I feel a lot better.
Of course I'm even more scared of finding a girlfriend now. I read some of the 'answers' and most girls seem ready to crucify the guy without knowing anything. I admit glitter is suspicious, but armpit glitter should only freak you out if he has some crazy armpit fetish and likes when someone..... You know what? I can't even think of a crazy enough fantasy that would result in glitter in the armpit areas only. Lol. In fact, the only way I get glitter there from a girl is if I had glitter EVERYWHERE...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): You HAVE probably had “glitter” in your deodorant and so has your husband. In fact almost everyone does and doesn’t even know it. If you use antiperspirant then it most likely contains Aluminum (actually about 20% of it is aluminium chlorohydrate, aluminium chloride, aluminium-zirconium or some kind of combination). I know this because I stopped using these chemicals for fear of cancer and/or Alzheimer’s and/or other issues.
You say that it is “just the armpits” and that your husband has “no idea how it got there”. If it was a woman with body glitter it would most likely be all over the shirt and less of it in the armpit. He probably really has no idea (unless some of these people are right). Aluminum can stain shirts and make it look “glittery” or “sparkly” or "iridescent" in the armpits of shirts. I have seen this when I was learning about the dangers of Aluminum to your body, and this was evidence of what you don’t see how you are polluting your body. I’m guessing this is a dark shirt which is why the glitter caught your attention. After the antiperspirant dries the aluminum is still there, just like it is in your pores. If you could see it through the outside of the shirt then probably it was because he either sweat and the aluminum soaked through or when you washed it the aluminum when through. Washing a shirt doesn’t usually clean all the chemicals left from deodorants as I have seen a couple other people on here suggest to you also.
I suggest you take a look at other dark shirts made with similar fabrics very closely. If you see anything sparkly, then you probably know that is aluminum. If not, I still wouldn’t think it couldn’t still be the cause. I don’t know what to say about the jacket but like most others on here have suggested, it is easy to get glitter on you and difficult to get off. If it happened once in 3 years I’m not sure that is enough to accuse someone. I hope this helps more than the other people that accused your husband of going to strippers without knowing about this. I guess being health conscious actually makes me a smarter individual also.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): You are suspicious of you husband, but not clear why.
Body glitter, glitter of another sort, not much to go on.
There must be more to be suspicious of.
By the way, glitter is called by one comedian "the herpes of arts and crafts" because once you get it on you, you can't get rid of it. Which is true.
Yes, women do wear body glitter to work in offices. Yes women do have glitter on some clothes, shoes, etc.
I've come to work with glitter on my face, from my kids, my wife, my dogs getting into the glitter that is on the floor from the kids working with it, from decorations at holiday times.
But I've never cheated with anyone...glitter or not.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Is there such a thing as glitter deodorant? Never heard of it. While it is WEIRD, sure, it doesn't have to mean anything really. Those glitter things often spread like fire in dry grass. If you as much as touch a glittery table decorator for example, or something glittery has already been spread on other's clothes, it is so easy to get some on yours as well. I've seen guys covered in glitter without doing anything other than touching the wrong thing (something glittery) and then trying to rub it off with touching the shirt etc.. naturally only making it worse. And then they scratch their face and it's all over them.
However just the armpits? That's really odd. I have no idea what that could mean. Did you ask him where he had been and what he had done the previous day/evening to get so much glitter under his arms?
Maybe he took a bath in glitter because he is secretly a glitter-lover, and the only place he forgot to wash up as under his arms?? Sorry, I'm clueless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): Be careful before you accuse too soon or too harshly. I have found something similar on MY own clothes. Just like the other person wrote I think it happened when I didn’t wash my shirt after it sat for a while. It seemed to happen on my darker colour shirts. I’ve only seen it a few times but the first time I was baffled because I never use glitter in anything and it looked like I had. It looked more like it was rubbed into the shirt almost like it was part of the shirt because I couldn’t scratch it out. So just be careful. But I can’t explain the jacket. Sounds possible, but why is a girl with glitter sitting in chair at the office? Also, I agree with everyone else that 3 years is a long time. Just my 2 Cents.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): I think the point that a lot of people are missing here is that whatever has happened may have occurred more than once. You found glitter on his jacket AND inside his shirt. That suggests two occasions in which he was in contact with Glitterwoman! And I agree with the other posters - you can't get glitter inside a shirt unless you wear it. Either he has used glitter deodorant (unlikely, but possible), or someone who was wearing it has worn his shirt, which suggests a very intimate liaison.
I would sit him down and just ask him straight how the glitter got there. Don't be accusatory, but say that you're really worried about it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 December 2011):
 My opinion: he's lying.
now: this was THREE years ago and if he has NOT done anything since that time to cause you grief or believe him to be lying about other things, you have to decide what to do.
for ME if it was three years ago, and I had a small child with this man and I loved him, I'd find a way to LET IT GO and forgive... NOT forget...
IF this type of situation occurs again, then that would be strike 2....
I'm very forgiving.... but I hate being lied to.
I would go to him and say : "look I will forgive you anything that happened 3 years ago and move forward with you in our marriage if that is what you want but I HAVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH so here it is amnesty for you for what you did in the past SPILL IT"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): As a woman I may see this a little different than others.
1. It was 3 years ago, best to focus on your child and family and let this go if he is still good to you and has not cheated before
2. The jacket - you said he wears it everywhere. There are actually alot of ways he could get glitter on the jacket if he wears it that much. If it only happened once then I would not judge him too quickly
3. The shirt - I don't know if my deodorant has glitter in it. I don't know if any does. And I don't know why a woman would wear it on her armpit but not anywhere else. If it was a stripper, how does it just get on the armpit. I don't know of armpit dances. If another woman was wearing it I would think that you would find it all over the shirt and not just the armpit too. And why would he not clean it or throw it away if he had something to hide. It seems really strange, but not enough evidence to say he is cheating.
So even though it may not be a popular answer on here, I say if you already asked him and he said he has know idea then he may really not know
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): I have to agree with the last poster who gave the “alternative opinion”. It’s been 3 years so he has probably forgotten by now. Has this happened any more than just these 2 times which were years ago? I think too many people on this board like to jump to conclusions because of being hurt in the past. You said he especially wears the jacket on business trips. Could he have gone to a club like the last poster suggested where it could get on the jacket? I have been to strip clubs plenty of times and guys don’t usually wear jackets because they make you check them in at the door. Any guy that has been to these places could tell you that, so really you can’t jump to conclusions there. And even if he did happen to be in there, at least he was wearing a jacket meaning that he was not comfortable enough to take it off, so it doesn’t sound like a private dance thing. The armpit one is strange, but who knows, especially if it was 3 years ago. How do you know that he didn’t have glitter in some new deodorant he was trying or borrowed from someone, or even if you tried a new one 3 years ago and he borrowed some of yours. There are so many chemicals in deodorant that you’ll never know, especially if it has been sitting around for YEARS. I also agree with the last poster that he is your husband so you know him best. Does your husband go out a lot or seem like someone that is really good with the ladies? If yes to both of these then maybe he is doing something. Unless this has happened more than you have described I say to let this one go because accusing someone of cheating when they are not will push them away and towards acting on the behavior you are accusing them of. Also ,it was 3 years ago. Sorry but you have to let this go, not that you can't watch what he is doing a little more closely now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): Just to offer an alternate opinion, i have been out clubbing before(not a strip club just regular clubbing) and i've found glitter all over me when i've woken up the next morning, on my clothes, face etc (this is when i go home alone btw) and have no idea where it's come from. But then again an office isn't a night club, and i have to say the arm pit glitter is a bit odd. One less seedy explination could be that your husband and this woman who uses body glitter were flirting a bit and your husband ended up spraying her deoderant on his arm pits as a joke or because he had BO and needed to borrow some... I dunno, lets not all be quick to judge. If it was three years ago he will have most likely have forgotton by now, unless he did do something naughty. But at the end of the day he's your husband, you should know him, his he the kind of person to do something sneaky behind your back???
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 No woman wears body glitter to work in an office.
Glitter on the inside suggests whoever wore the glitter also wore the shirt.
I share your suspicion that something is not right here. It sounds like he's been visiting strip clubs and getting up close and personal with the staff.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011):
In reply to anonymous:
I don't know what strippers are TOLD, but I know that when I come home from a club (if a woman has been on my lap) I definitely smell like perfume/lotion and have glitter on me (if she did, which many do). In fact, it's sort of a high the next day to still be able to smell her on me.
I think it's clear what he did. Doesn't mean he had sex with anyone, but you might want to find out why he's going to strip clubs. Happily married men don't do that. It's mostly married men who are unhappy in their marriage.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): your husband's explanations sound pretty lame and far fetched. he "doesn't know" how body glitter got on his shirt? that's the most common excuse. he's basically saying "if I say I dont' know that means you're not supposed to ask anymore questions, because I already said I don't know!"If you let this go, he will think "phew that worked! from now on just say 'I don't know' whenever she finds more evidence and the problem will go away"You should pursue this because this doesn't seem right, but don't take an adversarial tone that puts him on the defensive. Instead try your best NOT to put him on the defensive, and instead try to be just curious about it. If he's got nothing to hide, and if you're not giving off hostile vibes, he should be just as interested as you are to speculate how the glitter could have got on his shirt. Sort of like as if you discovered something strange about your kid's clothes and you both are trying to figure it out together.But if he gets uneasy or defensive even though you're not being hostile or agitated at him, then most likely he knows exactly how the glitter got there but doesn't want to say and wants you to just drop the issue without him having to own up to it. And there you have some answer that he probably did something hurtful to you and is now refusing to tell you what.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (20 December 2011):
If the glitter is on the inside - then someone wearing glitter was wearing the shirt.
It was 3 years ago - but I would do a little more digging. Are there other more suspicious signs? Recent odd things?
If nothing else is amiss I would just ask him and gauge his reaction.
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A
female
reader, aliyahnangelo +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Sounds like ur man was a strip club visitor! If u catch him in little lies all the time, then i would try to dig deeper. If you don't then let it be. BUt needless to say it definitely sounds like he got some private lap dances if you know what I mean. Which guys do that kind of stuff sometimes that doesn't mean he cheated though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): If he was getting lapdances it isn't likely there would be traces of it. Often times strippers are instructed to wear deoderizing spray but not often perfume or glitter as men shouldn't go home smelling like another woman.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (20 December 2011):
Sounds like he's been hanging out in strip clubs and getting lap dances...
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A
female
reader, r0ckah0l1c +, writes (20 December 2011):
The armpit thing could be from his deoderant if it has a lot of fragrance and the glitter could be from cologne that was on it when it was washed. I've washed a bunch of mine and my hubby's clothes where the deoderant has stained them because it sat in dirty laundry too long or something and it leaves a strange glittery mark. Not saying you don't have a reason to be suspicious but test it out on one of your black shirts...bput deoderant on the inside of the shirt and let it sit for a few days before washing it to see if it leaves an glittery marks.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011):
He probably went to a strip club. Are you going to beat him up over that? I mean, I know it's not what you want to hear, but are you going to divorce him over it?
I would sit him down and say "I know you've been going to strip clubs. I am not as upset about that as I am the fact you are LYING about it. What's going on? I don't like you going, but I don't like you lying even more."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): Why would you want to pursue this?
It was three years ago. Even if your husband was unfaithful that one time, even without you trying and whilst you were busy doing other things, he chose you.
And if he wasn't unfaithful? If the glitter woman sat on his lap, tried to seduce him and was told "no"? What sort of payment for his fidelity would your accusation be? He'd doubtless think "even when I do the right thing, I still get pain for it. If I'm going to get the pain, next time I'll take the pleasure too".
Let it slide. Don't be an idiot, keep your eye out for further unexplained things, but let this one go.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 December 2011):
 I think you're right. Something's amiss. The really telling thing, even more than the body glitter, is his explanation.
He says a woman "sat on his coat"? Usually, if someone's coming to sit down on a chair, the person who owns the coat will move it out of courtesy. Either that, or the person who wants to sit on the chair will pick it up and fold it nicely or hang it if a hook exists.
The fact that it's only on the front of the jacket is also really telling. Usually, if a coat is "thrown" on a chair, you'd see the glitter on the back of it or at least on more than one area (i.e. the arms or side). The fact that it's localized to the front just doesn't match his story.
If you've seen other articles of clothes with glitter on them, time to check into your husband's goings-on. Do not accuse yet. Don't even let him know you're on to him. Pretend to "let things go" so that he thinks you've called off the suspicion. Then do your legwork. If he's smart, he won't use his usual email or cell phone. You could pick up one of those noise activated long-playing voice recorders and hide it in his truck. That's a good way to listen to his conversations.
Also, you might want to run a credit check on him to see if there are any cards you don't know about or PO boxes you don't know about. But the idea is to be QUIET about it. Don't tell a lot of people that you suspect anything, especially those who are in contact with him. if you have a trusted best friend who sticks with you (and doesn't wear glitter!), maybe confide in her, but few others at first.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Going from your question, there isn't way to be 100% sure what went on. His story is plausible and it would appear that whatever did happen, happened a long time ago.
I think at this point, you need to see if other things are starting to add up. At that point in your relationship, were things going okay? Are they good today? Has your husband ever given you any doubt your his commitment to you?
There are way too many "what ifs" here and I can certainly sympathize what you are going through.
If I were in your shoes, I'd have a talk with your husband and tell him your fears and concerns. See how he reacts. While it may not solve your problems (and it may even cause more) hopefully given the amount of turmoil it is causing you, he'll respond in kind and put years fears at ease. Unfortunately, it is about the only thing you can do today to deal with your anxiety. Just remember, for the sake of your marriage, presume his innocence before assuming he is guilty.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): You can never know for sure but I would not discount any of this, glitter doesn't get on your clothes from the glitter fairy and if a woman had sat on his jacket how would that get glitter on it? Does she have glitter on her bottom? Sounds like bullshit to me.
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