A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, so this friend and i have been doin this friends with benifits thing since the break up the first time! but hes tarted to get close with an ex of his but he said it most likly wont work. well shortly after that we got back together and it only lasted a week but we were still continuing the friends with benifits, i mean we were inseperable. but just recently i did something i probably shouldnt of done cuz we were not dating and that was i went thru text messages and i seen that he was calling someone babe and when i seen that i left his house cuz that right there made me feel like he was just using me since he was doin that! i sent him a text and telling him how i feel and all he says he dont care! but i seriously think he is a player but i cant say it to his face. and since that day i havnt seen or heard from him, i apologized for everything i have said but i really think i screwed this up. how can i get him to talk to me again ?? i cant help how i feel about him!!i think im in love with him but idk
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): He is just doing the same thing you are doing - using your body for something he wants. He is using it for sex. You are using it to try to hook him into a relationship.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 December 2011):
 FWB *is* mutual using of someone. There's no love, no demands, no feelings, no relationship, no requirements, no strings. You can sleep with 10,000 other people and not have it be considered cheating.
One of the absolute greatest mistakes a girl can make is to assume that the natural next step for a FWB is to develop feelings and go exclusive. In truth, there is no "next step" for a FWB. You simply use each other for sex and nothing more. The moment you develop feelings and get jealous is the day you *must* end the FWB arrangement, because to stay in it with the hope that he will develop feelings is masochistic, and you'll end up feeling used and hurt.
It's done. You have to let him go, because your display of jealousy will make him run from you (as he isn't interested in you, and your emotional demand has turned him off), and your apology and grovelling will make him lose more respect for you.
Best to end the arrangement with dignity, let yourself cool off, and then date for real, promising yourself that you will never even utter the words "FWB" when it comes to yourself ever again.
Demand a guy's heart before you offer your body. No ifs, ands, or buts.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 He's not using you, your doing the sex without any commitment thing. He's not your boyfriend, he's a guy you have sex with when you feel the need. You have no right to go through his telephone, you have no ties on him at all. He can do what he wants, see who he wants, and you can do the same thing. He's not lied to you, you aren't dating, you agreed to sex only.
FWB means SEX and NOTHING else.
If you want more from a relationship, then find yourself a boyfriend, and stop sleeping with guys who want your body and nothing more. He probably won't come near you now, your looking for a boyfriend and he can't offer you that.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 December 2011):
You need to walk away. To him, you're still just the FWB, and that's as far as it can go between you. You're absolutely right - he is a player.
Stop torturing yourself over someone who just has sex with you and nothing else, and move on before you drive yourself mad.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 December 2011):
 The whole point of a FWB IS using each other for sex and only sex, period. You, apparently and unfortunately, didn't understand the not-so-fine small print on the contract. I think you'd best just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 December 2011):
 Listen to me,
YOU are NOTHING but a handy penis holder to this man.
HE will NEVER love you the way you love him.
HE will never think of you as nothing more than an easy lay and a fun time.
you are FWB and you now feel more than you should.
For your own sanity cut the line NOW and suffer the short term pain of being alone for a while... get over him.
FWB almost never works out.
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