A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:is i rape if you wake up to find someone having sex with you? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, OwHiTeLiOnO  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 You need to give more info. As the question stands I will have to say this was not rape or that there is not enough information to fairly judge whether this was rape or not.
OwHiTeLiOnO
A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (9 May 2007):
Rape is when someone has unconsenual sex with you, meaning you never uttered the words yes or no. This is rape. Yes we've all had the sleepy sex in the night where you don't hold up you sign and say yeah or ney, it is something you do because you know this person. I am sure you got hot and heavy with him but that doesn't necessairly mean that you are lying there for it to happen. He has to or at least make some remark that he wants to have sex with you and you and him need to be responsible to have protected sex AND MORE IMPORTANTLY YOU SAY YES, OK, WILLING TO. If you are hammered or just feeling out of sorts then you tell him, not to night I am feeling sick. I sure sign of someone of this ilk to scarper. If you were out of your tree, then you need to understand this was no sex, fucking, love making, just advantage of a women who was completely unaware of her place i.e RAPE. There are new laws in the UK for this so go check them out at your GP or Citizens Advice immediately.
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A
female
reader, staciebriscoe +, writes (8 May 2007):
hunni this was defo rape u did nt concent u was asleep so yea it was rape get ur self checked out do a pregency test and report it tp the police. it will be difficualt to deal wid but in the end u will get there u got ur friends and family to support you thought any decison u make.
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A
female
reader, honesty +, writes (8 May 2007):
well if you wake up with someone on top of you of course its rape you never gave the person concent
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (8 May 2007):
 Unconsciousness does not imply consent. It is entirely possible that you were raped.
That said, many years ago a boyfriend I had had sex with earlier that evening and fallen asleep with, once started again with me while HE was still asleep. I woke up before he actually entered, and then I woke him up. I was not amused (but then I'm not real friendly when someone wakes me up for any reason, lol). But there was no intention there, so I let him off the hook.
We might need more information to know for sure, but given what you've stated, I'd say yes, you were raped.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thanks guys xxx
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A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (8 May 2007):
 Yes, unless for some atypical reason you had give the person permissions to have sex with you while unconscious. Rape happens when you don't give your consent, period. And, not Saying "N0" is not the same thing as saying, "Yes".
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (8 May 2007):
 Possibly. It depends. Is he your steady boyfriend and do you have regular sex? Had you had sex earlier that night? If the answer to that is 'yes' then it's possible that he thought you'd like it and that it would be a nice way to wake up. It does display a lack of understanding of how women work, but that is another thing.
On the other hand, if you don't know him well or he's not your boyfriend, or has only been your boyfriend a short while, then thats another issue altogether. Then it could be called rape, yes.
The other thing to think about is what happened when you woke up? Did you feel that it was wrong? Did you think about stopping him, or try to? If so, then it was also rape.
Rape is defined as having sex against someones will, or without their consent. If he didn't have at least tacit consent for what he did then it was rape.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (8 May 2007):
 Yes, you did not give concent and therefore it is rape. Absolutely.
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A
female
reader, in my opinion +, writes (8 May 2007):
 you did not consent to it. plus the fact you werent even awake!! it could be classed as rape!
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A
female
reader, PortugueseGal +, writes (8 May 2007):
Yeah it is because u didnt give the person permission to have sexual intercourse with u. so therefore, you was raped...if you knew the person. how old are you? say it you was 14 and the person having sex with u was 18 and over, that is even worse.
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise +, writes (8 May 2007):
 YES yes and YEEESSSSSSS. even if this person is your boyfriend that you've dated for years and years, or a husband, etc, this is STILL rape unless you told them spicifically beforehand that it was okay. Any sexual acts that you didn't or couldn't give consent to is rape. Please alert someone of authority about this, like the campus police if you are at university (and go see one of the counclers there as well), or if you are at home you should let your parents know, or at least let apolice figure know. If it was a boyfriend, etc, i think its time to seriously consdier the relationship! Do you really want to be with someone who obviously has no respect for you, and takes advantage of you when they feel a little horney???? It still is a good idea to see a counsler/theripist to help you work through your feelings about this, and for advice on what you should do and what to do to stay out of situactions like this in the future.
i hope your're okay.....
this happend to me... wakeing up to find a guy haveing sex with me.... and it was quite tramatic. so much so that i didnt even remember it for half a year. when i did remember it, which is when that guy started calling me again, it caused me so much stress that schoolwork was too overwhellming, etc, and i eventually dropped out of university for awhile. i hope your experience wont be this damageing.... but please feel free to messege me if you want too.
lots of hugs my dear.
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