A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Is there anyone else out there getting as sickened as I am by the increasing erosion of personal intimacy in relationships? I find myself amazed at the way that sex seems to be meaningless, you can have threeway, with other people while you are married, with a hanky on line, on the phone, whether you are 12 or 15 years old...just about any old where so long as the rocks get off. I am finding less to see about it that is beautiful or valued, it seems like McDonalds, just smash and grab for it. It is after all your "right" to do whatever you want and never have to work to make something really meaningful. Do these people intend to keep doing this when they have children, even though they may mess up the kids lives by bringing risks in that are just extra self gratification and not needed. If someone is getting good loving from the person they love, what is all this other stuff about? Will we all be living in each other's houses whenever we want next? Can I take your car to work, I always felt like driving a porche...ooops sorry I crashed it. Oh well never mind. I am getting seriously depressed by all this. I think of all the great people in this world who have made a difference. Then I look at the rest of us scratching the surface of life and pondering the deep meaning of whether they should let their boyfriend screw their friend for fun. Am I going completely mad or does anyone else out there feel the same?
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female
reader, Mystic Moo +, writes (1 May 2007):
 I agree. It's all wrong. Where's the romance? I read an article about an 11 year old mum-to-be and I was horrified. A young child who had thrown her life away to be a parent? I'm ashamed of my generation.
A
female
reader, Keria +, writes (1 May 2007):
I'm only going to comment on the depression you are feeling. I assume that if you feel the way you do about perceived changes in standards, you yourself keep the standards you are lamenting have been changed. If you keep them, why do you worry if your neighbour does not? We do not all have to live to the same moral codes. What your neighbours do in their bedroom has no impact on you, and what you do in your bedroom. I am sure you can find at least one other person who feels the same way as you, so you will certainly not need to feel isolated, regardless of what your neighbours do.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (1 May 2007):
 I sometimes feel the same. There are some positive takes on this however, or at least ways to understand it that make it possible to cope a bit better:
The World you describe is not really the World as it is. Yes it does happen, but it happens much less than you'd perhaps think. What has happened is that the media (and popular culture) is painting a picture that everyone is busy having constant threesomes and casual sex. The media has its own motivation for this, which is not to tell the truth, but rather improve their ratings and sell more products. The reality is, if you speak to people face to face, that many / most people still behave in a reasonably restrained and respectful way. Or at least, that has been my experience. I admit I do live in a very well-adjusted country! (NL)
Also interesting is what you could call the 'culture of the self', or 'generation me'. There are lots of different reasons why this has come about, but I don't think it is desirable or sustainable. History tells us that things that people neither want nor need tend to not last, fortunately. The reasons this culture has grown up are a lot to do with the role of consumerism, corporate power, and advertising. These areas are changing fast currently and in many ways becoming more ethical. There is hope for positive change.
I recommend a few things for you to read. The first is a book called 'generation me' (find out about it here http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2007/04/29/generation_me.html), and the other is a documentary that is available to watch online on google video. It is called 'the century of the self'. You can find it (4 x 1 hr parts) if you search on google video for that phrase. There is lots more good stuff to read about it, send me a private message if you want more.
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