I would not have married her, had I known of her wild sexual past! What now?
Q. What do you do when you find out your wife has had a wild sexual past and you didnt know about it and if you had known about it, you would not have even asked her to marry you?...
A. 28 March 2008: I'd ask you to re-read a lot of answers below, because much of this has been covered. But i'll also try to re-iterate based on your questions.
"1) The fact she lied to me about her past, I asked her because I wanted to know for a reason, people a... (read in full...)
Is anal that bad?
Q. hey well i have erm quite an embarrassing question, my boyfriend and i have recently decided to become sexually active. we have decided to wait till next month at least when im 16, as he is 19 and we love each other too much to cause any trouble. we ...
A. 21 March 2008: I recommend you stick to 'straight sex' for a while. By that i mean oral and vaginal sex.
Why? Well, sex comes with very complex and new emotions, that take time to learn how to cope with. Pushing the envelope with things like anal and using a ... (read in full...)
Hugely complicated love pentagon leaves me confused. HELP!
Q. Okay, this is complex situation (for me at least) and I would be hugely appreciative of help from anyone who has experienced something simular or just thinks they can help. First of all, about three weeks ago, my friend was asked out by this girl...
A. 21 March 2008: Wow. What a mess. My suggestion would be to spend some time playing playstation with your mates and not worry about girls for a bit. Once the storm has passed then see where things stand.... (read in full...)
When to have sex with a new partner? Do you wait until marriage?
Q. Hi. I know it depends on a lot of factors, but can someone give some sort of a general timeline on the appropriate time to wait before having sex with a new partner? I was in a long term relationship for several years all of which I thought we ...
A. 21 March 2008: A guy who is genuinely interested in you will be willing to wait a long time before having sex with you. Don't think that having 4 or 5 or ever 10 dates without having sex is being a 'cock tease'. You're 100% entitled to have sex when you want, it's ... (read in full...)
I would not have married her, had I known of her wild sexual past! What now?
Q. What do you do when you find out your wife has had a wild sexual past and you didnt know about it and if you had known about it, you would not have even asked her to marry you?...
A. 21 March 2008: That's a tough situation. The fact that you asked and were mislead, plus the occasional reminder through bumping in to a former lover, is a really difficult combination to deal with.
Troubledtoomuch is right focussing on understanding why she didn... (read in full...)
I felt really confident about myself until finding out that my BF's ex is a supermodel!!
Q. Been going out with this gorgeous guy for the last couples of months and really like him. We spend hours in bed just cuddling, it's lovely. I recently found out that his ex girlfriend was a supermodel. I'm not exaggerating either - she actually ...
A. 21 March 2008: I've known a few professional models, they've generally been way too thin (and either bulemic or anorexic), rather dumb and boring, self-obsessed, and hard work to be around. I imagine your boyfriend is very happy to be with a 'normal' girl after ... (read in full...)
Does the condom diminuate sensations and would a slimmer type be a better choice in my case??
Q. I have just recently started having sex with my girlfriend. And it's great. We've planned everything well and have all the safety precautions and i seem to please her, however i cannot ejaculate when i'm having sex. I get tired before i ejaculate ...
A. 21 March 2008: It could be the condoms. Go get a very thin one and see if that helps. Certainly the first thing to try.
It could also be other factors. Here are some possibilities.
1. Nervousness and performance anxiety. It's 'expected' that you come when ha... (read in full...)
I would not have married her, had I known of her wild sexual past! What now?
Q. What do you do when you find out your wife has had a wild sexual past and you didnt know about it and if you had known about it, you would not have even asked her to marry you?...
A. 20 March 2008: Troubledtoouch has given some great advice too, I'd like to add a few things based on it.
In terms of how much detail you ask for, that is something you can, like he says, dig into. It's one of those difficult situations where you end up in one o... (read in full...)
I would not have married her, had I known of her wild sexual past! What now?
Q. What do you do when you find out your wife has had a wild sexual past and you didnt know about it and if you had known about it, you would not have even asked her to marry you?...
A. 20 March 2008: Thank you Daniel. You raise a good point also: that leaving is an option. That really should be a last resort. If this happens to a couple very early on in a relationship then breaking up should be considered, but if you have been together for ... (read in full...)
I would not have married her, had I known of her wild sexual past! What now?
Q. What do you do when you find out your wife has had a wild sexual past and you didnt know about it and if you had known about it, you would not have even asked her to marry you?...
A. 20 March 2008: First of all, don't expect to get much sympathy from women on this issue. The intense emotions men can sometimes experience in your situation are, in my experience, distinctly 'male' and not something most women will be able to strongly empathise ... (read in full...)
I don't understand how he can be disappointed since this all happened in my past, before I even started talking to him.
Q. heyy everyone=] I'm in a little bit of confusion and need some help. Okay so me and my boyfriend were talking on the phone last night and somehow we got into the subject about my past and what I've done. He's always called me "miss innocent" ...
A. 20 March 2008: You don't explain exactly what you did or didn't do, so it's hard to be specific.
However, what you describe is very common. It comes up on this site all the time in various different forms. I'll try to give you a few (hopefully construc... (read in full...)
I feel I'm his toy, when he doesn't find attention elsewhere?!
Q. Hey, aright so last month this boy really liked me and i liked him, but not as much he liked me. I hookedup with another boy and he gave me another chance, then i did it again with someone else and he fully ended it, he said he didn't want me in his ...
A. 20 March 2008: Wow, so much 'hooking up' going on it sounds like a fishing competition.
Not to mention, the problem with the term 'hooking up' is that it means everything and nothing at the same time. I'm guessing you mean kissing, right?
Anyway, this ... (read in full...)
Should I have a threesome with my gay best friend, and his new bi boyfriend? I'm bisexual
Q. My best friend is a gay man. We're really close to eachother and I feel as if I can to him about anything. I don't tend to get on with other girls that well as I find that girls tend to get quite bitchy towards me and so my relationship with my ...
A. 20 March 2008: Be careful. It sounds like this could be something you want to do because you want to become closer to your gay best friend. You could be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. It's very hard to stay emotionally un-involved when having sex ... (read in full...)
What do lads think about girls/girlfriend watching porn, a lot???
Q. What do lads think about girls/girlfriend watching porn, a lot!? I just want to know if ye have a problem with girls watching porn. Is it a turn off? I would really appreciate your comments!!!...
A. 19 March 2008: For me it would be a turn off. Everyone is different, but personally i find porn degrading to women.... (read in full...)
I told my mates we'd had sex, now I'm worried my gf will break up with me!
Q. ive been going out with my gf for about 5months now. and the other night we had sex and we did use protection dont worry, but now shes avoiding me a bit and im worried she'l break up with me. but i think shes annoyed by the fact that i told all my ...
A. 18 March 2008: You said your age is between 10 and 12. Is that true?
In that case, its no surprise at all that your girlfriend is upset! She (and you too) could get in big trouble.
Besides, I think you know why she's upset right? She thinks you were showing... (read in full...)
Is it best to wait forever to lose my virginity with someone important to me or just go for it within the next 6 months...?
Q. I'm 16 I'd like detailed answers to this question please: Is it best to wait forever to lose my virginity with someone important to me and therefore probably never lose it as I am so unattractive, OR just go for it within the next 6 months even...
A. 18 March 2008: You should wait.
Why?
Because if you have sex with 'just some drunk guy' who you pick up one night, he'll disappear the next day. Then you'll feel even less attractive that you do now, and start to have regrets and feel bad about yourself. ... (read in full...)
Do we even need the boyfriend/girlfriend label?
Q. So I have been talking with this guy for almost 2 months now. We started by being friends for a couple of years (we were both in other relationships). When those relationships ended, it came out that we had feelings for each other. We decided to ...
A. 18 March 2008: You wanting to call him your 'boyfriend' and wanting him to call you his 'girlfriend' is totally reasonable, and a good thing. It's a way of making the relationship more solid, more real.
He may be nervous about commitment, and hence be holding ... (read in full...)
Is it a problem that I've had previous sexual partners, but he's only had me?
Q. my boyfriend lost his virginity to me, however ive slept with men prior to our relationship. he knows about the men ive slept with, just that it makes him feel uneasy. he told me he has tried to block that out of his mind. does this pose a problem ...
A. 17 March 2008: I agree with the last two answers: this can (sometimes) be something that is very difficult for a guy to shake off. Certainly there are plenty of men that it wouldn't bother, but equally there are plenty that it would.
Unfortunately there's ... (read in full...)
How to I tell my one night stand I'm pregnant?
Q. i had a one night stand with a guy just over a month ago and now im pregnant. im still in contact with him but how do i tell him?...
A. 17 March 2008: How do you tell him? You call him straight away and tell him. You are both jointly responsible for this, and he has a right to know, and a duty to help you, whatever you decide to do.
Having said that, you can't force him to want to be a father, ... (read in full...)
He forced me to give him oral, I froze and acted as demanded... what now?
Q. Is this wrong? I was hanging out with a college hallmate and asking about homework. He kissed and touched me before one night when I was tipsy, but this night he started touching and I said "I don't think this is a good idea." I kept saying that...
A. 17 March 2008: That is sexual assault. You have my deep sympathy, it sounds like it was really unpleasant. What he did is very very wrong, illegal and dangerous. You should speak to a college councillor about this as soon as possible and get their advice. Yo... (read in full...)
We want to get matching tattoos and I'd like some suggestions.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years almost. We've been friends for a VERY long time. We recently decided we want to get a matching tattoo. Something that nobody really has. Does anyone have anything in mind?...
A. 17 March 2008: My recommendation would be to get temporary tattoos. You're about to make one of THE classic tattoo mistakes: getting matching tattoos with your childhood sweetheart.
Otherwise, make sure it's small and get it somewhere where your next boyfrien... (read in full...)
Is my experience causing his nerves??
Q. I really want to have sex with my boyfriend, and he seems to want to as well. Thing is, every time we're about to have sex, he cant get hard. I know its just nerves, and as I've told him, I'm willing to wait, but I was wondering if there was ...
A. 17 March 2008: Yes performance anxiety is quite likely. Men often feel the need to 'compete' on some level, it can be difficult for a guy when he feels he has to measure up to all your previous men. I suggest you flatter him a lot, and try to make him feel ... (read in full...)
Tatoo turn off!!! How do I tell her?
Q. I have a dilemma. My girlfriend has a tattoo. It's not very large, and its right in the small of her back. The problem is, I really don't like it, and for a bad reason. A tattoo in that spot just has negative associations for me: 'tramp stamp' an...
A. 14 March 2008: As an update: here is a strange thing. Totally out of the blue (we've not discussed this in over a year) my girlfriend sits me down and tells me that she's seriously considering getting the tattoo removed. She didn't want my opinion (she knows it ... (read in full...)
Am I weird because I enjoy kissing and licking a woman's posterior?
Q. What do you women here think of a man who really loves the female posterior? The reason I ask is because I am somewhat obsessed with the female ass. I absolutely loves kissing and licking a woman's ass. I'm talking the cheeks, not the anus iself. ...
A. 13 March 2008: Not weird at all. Well, if it is, then i'm weird too ;)... (read in full...)
I'm very nervous about the threesome, as I do not wish the third person to interfere with my relation. What should I do?
Q. I'm really nervous about having a threesome with my fiance because of past experiences. I've told him about my past and I told him that I was really nervous about doing it and he just said that we would only do one, but it still makes me nervous ...
A. 13 March 2008: It's obvious what you should do. Don't have it! You clearly don't want to, so don't. If your boyfriend is trying to force you to do something you don't want to then he doesn't care about you, and that's a big problem. And even more reason not ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 with no boyfriend, but I want to have sex...what should I do?
Q. Hey there im 15 ive not had a proper boyfriend (and still don't) but i really want to have sex ino i obviously can't but im so down about it :( help me pleaseeee x...
A. 13 March 2008: Sex can be really really good, and it can be really really bad.
Sex is great when it's with someone that loves you, and you love them, and where you both respect each other. Meaning a proper boyfriend. Someone who treats you well and cares ab... (read in full...)
Any tips to stop the craving to smoke?
Q. Hello Everyone. I know this is not relationship advice I'm seeking, but please be kind, and help me anyway. I've been a smoker for nearly 14 years. Never really smoked much (only about 5-7 cigarettes a day), until about April of 2007. I st...
A. 12 March 2008: I find reminding myself of two things really helped:
- How much I wanted to stop, and how I felt about it when I was smoking.
- That if I started again, and stopped again, I'd gave to go through all the cravings again that I've already resisted... (read in full...)
His phone porn clips make me want to give my number to other men!
Q. Please help, i'm not sure if i'm acting the right way. well my bf is 'obsessed' with porn videos or that's what i think. Because he has a whole lot of porn clips on his phone. about 2 months ago I told him to delete these things on his phone and ...
A. 12 March 2008: No man 'needs' porn.
If men needed porn, then the human race wouldn't have made it past the 500,000 years of our history before we invented printing, photography and video. The fact that we made it that far without porn suggests that we don't ex... (read in full...)
Is infidelity genetic?
Q. My boyfriend has confided in me that his dad cheated on his mom while they were married and that was the cause of their divorce. My question is, is my boyfriend more likely to cheat on me in the future because he has been exposed to and influence ...
A. 12 March 2008: It's not genetic. But growing up in a family where infidelity was going on can make someone more inclined to commit infidelity themselves. It can also make them very anti-infidelity and less likely to commit it themselves! In other words, foc... (read in full...)
What to expect from a first appointment, after being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome?
Q. Hi i am nearly 16 and i have recenly been diagnosed with PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome and i have been refered to hospital. i have had an ultrasound and internal exam at my doctors and a special clinic to diagnose it but i am soon to have my first ap...
A. 26 February 2008: My ex-wife has PCOS so I'm fairly familiar with it. Although I can't tell you specifically what they'll be doing beyond the internal exam and ultrasound they've given. A blood test sounds quite likely.
You should bear in mind that there isn't re... (read in full...)
Site News: We hit another milestone :-)
Q. For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...
A. 13 February 2008: That's a whole lot of traffic! ... (read in full...)
My friend and I started getting cosy, but I refused sex, he went into a sulk, I'm not talking to him now, am I right?
Q. so there's this guy i truly care for,but i dont think he feels the same way he's going through a hard time and a separation right now and he has 3 kids.we fooled around and he wanted to have sex but i said no to him evr since that he has had very ...
A. 8 February 2008: He's either intentionally or unintentionally putting negative emotional pressure on you to have sex. That's just not ok, you don't emotionally blackmail or guilt trip people into sex... that would be the perfect recipe for a disfunctional and in the ... (read in full...)
Insecure about the way I look.
Q. Ok, I'm very insecure looks-wise. Media images mostly make me insecure, and porn. I know it's very plastic though. However, I just see how guys drool over actresses and porn. It's just fantasy they say. But I just get so down every time I see...
A. 7 February 2008: I think it was Jamie Lee Curtis was given a compliment about a photoshoot of hers, the person said 'I wish my bum looked as good as yours'.
She replied "I wish my bum looked as good as mine too".
She meant of course that her bum in real life... (read in full...)
He can't ejaculate! Could it be his meds?
Q. My husband is 29 years old, and for the last 4 mornings he has been waking up limp. Let me tell you in the 10 years we have been together this is a first. He has no problem getting it up, but he can not orgasm. We have tried the last 4 days for ...
A. 7 February 2008: Given the timing it is very likely the drugs.
There are many other painkillers and antibiotics out there, so switching drugs shouldn't be an issue. He should go back to his doctor (if he's on a long course of drugs) and get them changed. Alternat... (read in full...)
Why is anal so painful? Only once it surprisingly worked by using lubrication.
Q. Whenever we try doggy style, it really hurts. We've tried using lubrication, and one time it surprisingly worked, but all the other times we've tried I've felt ill with the pain. He knows this, so we don't do it, but I know he wants it. I'd love to ...
A. 5 February 2008: Doggy style:
http://www.funpal.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/Doggy%20Style.jpg
Either hole, its still called doggy style.... (read in full...)
Why is anal so painful? Only once it surprisingly worked by using lubrication.
Q. Whenever we try doggy style, it really hurts. We've tried using lubrication, and one time it surprisingly worked, but all the other times we've tried I've felt ill with the pain. He knows this, so we don't do it, but I know he wants it. I'd love to ...
A. 4 February 2008: Reading the question I'm not sure this heading is correct? Doggy is not anal.... (read in full...)
Is my partner finding fault in my sexual performance, if she wants a vibrator?
Q. My girlfriend wants a vibrator, but I don't want her to. Why does she want one? Is it becuase I'm terrible in bed? Will she ever want sex again?...
A. 1 February 2008: Until they invent a vibrator that can take out the trash, I think us men are on secure ground when it comes to this kind of competition ... (read in full...)
Should I grow my hair long?
Q. I am thinking of growing my hair long. i am a ginger 13 YR old boy and have been told by my classmates that i would not suit long hair. i still want to grow it though. they say that gingers cant have long hair. i am also wondering what style i ...
A. 31 January 2008: I have ginger(ish) hair and used to have it down to near my waist. No problems at all (other than taking so long to wash and dry...)... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't come. How can I help?
Q. Apologies for this being so long, but I feel that background information could help a little. I've been with my current boyfriend for over 10 months now, and we both love and care about each other more than anything. I lost my virginity to him after ...
A. 30 January 2008: This condition is not that uncommon, and is called 'retarded ejaculation' or 'delayed ejaculation'. If you google those then you'll find lots of useful information about it. The problem is usually psychological, not physical.
Double M's point is... (read in full...)
In the middle of the act he withdraws saying he ejaculated, when he did not. This problem is minimising our sex life. Any ideas?
Q. Guys here is a question 4 U women if its ever happened 2 U please please give advise. In the middle of sex all of a sudden he takes it out and says I came but there isn't anything there he didn't ejaculate but he says it feels like he did. Then it ...
A. 30 January 2008: It's not that unusual for men to have problems ejaculating with a woman via intercourse, but to be able to bring themselves off masturbating. This is usually for psychological reasons, which can get quite complex. Therapy is the usual way to tackle ... (read in full...)
How can I get sex?
Q. I'm a 15 year old boy who needs sex, and I don't know how to get it. Any Suggestions?...
A. 29 January 2008: You get sex from girls.
So to get it you have to convince them to give it to you.
How to get them to do that is the subject of millions of books, poems, movies, works of art and has been debated since the dawn of humanity. And we're still not ... (read in full...)
From Friends - to Lovers - to Nothing... but why???
Q. Hi I was really in to this guy I know, and yes we did a sex a few times, both drunk and sober. He told me he liked me, but it has been over 3 months since anything has happend. I find myself getting jealous of him when he speaks to other girls a...
A. 29 January 2008: Some men just want sex.
Some of those men have the honesty to tell you that before they have sex with you. Not that common since they tend not to get the sex they were after in the first place.
Some men have at least enough courtesy to tel... (read in full...)
Tatoo turn off!!! How do I tell her?
Q. I have a dilemma. My girlfriend has a tattoo. It's not very large, and its right in the small of her back. The problem is, I really don't like it, and for a bad reason. A tattoo in that spot just has negative associations for me: 'tramp stamp' an...
A. 28 August 2006: You make a really good point Wendy. The scar will always be there, perhaps that will 'remind' me as much or even more than the tattoo. Or my imagination will find something else to fixate on. ... (read in full...)
Tatoo turn off!!! How do I tell her?
Q. I have a dilemma. My girlfriend has a tattoo. It's not very large, and its right in the small of her back. The problem is, I really don't like it, and for a bad reason. A tattoo in that spot just has negative associations for me: 'tramp stamp' an...
A. 28 August 2006: Interesting to see how harsh some of the responses are here! I hope from my question it's clear that I don't think my wishes in this respect are particularly reasonable. The problem is, I'm still faced with my intense dislike for her tattoo. Thank ... (read in full...)
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