From Friends - to Lovers - to Nothing... but why???
Q. Hi I was really in to this guy I know, and yes we did a sex a few times, both drunk and sober. He told me he liked me, but it has been over 3 months since anything has happend. I find myself getting jealous of him when he speaks to other girls a...
A. 29 January 2008: Some men just want sex.
Some of those men have the honesty to tell you that before they have sex with you. Not that common since they tend not to get the sex they were after in the first place.
Some men have at least enough courtesy to tel... (read in full...)
My wife had a boob job, after I said no. I am leaving her!
Q. My wife went and had a boob job and I find it absolutely disgusting. Once she had small, pretty breasts and I loved them just the way they were. she kept asking me if she should get them "done" and I told her no, not only no but, H--L NO!!!!! I ...
A. 29 January 2008: Everyone is giving you a hard time here, which in my opinion is not the way to approach this.
You made it completely clear to your wife that you didn't want her to go ahead with this. She went and did it anyway. People are arguing that 'its her... (read in full...)
I got so drunk and did something real stupid! Help
Q. i am so overwhelmed with embarrassment right now. in my local bar i pulled a guy into the packed bathroom and tried to get him into the cubical.. i was so so so so so so so drunk and its completely out of charecter but it has really effected my ...
A. 29 January 2008: Nothing happened fortunately. Just wait til someone else does something embarassing and the girls will switch subjects.
In the mean time, probably best to drink a bit less for the time being! And make sure you eat something substantial before y... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past disgusts me--over 20 guys from the age of 16-18!!
Q. When me and my wife first hooked up, she was 18 and had me thinking she had been with two guys before me. Then the first lie came to light when I had to take a DNA test for our first son, because on a trip back home she had sex with "a friend". So ...
A. 29 January 2008: "Sorry, the days of 'women-must-be-virgins-or-they're-whores/unclean' are over."
Unfortunately it's not a matter of those days being over. Nor can they ever be. Whilst it's obviously unrealistic for women to live up to this, men have these fe... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past disgusts me--over 20 guys from the age of 16-18!!
Q. When me and my wife first hooked up, she was 18 and had me thinking she had been with two guys before me. Then the first lie came to light when I had to take a DNA test for our first son, because on a trip back home she had sex with "a friend". So ...
A. 28 January 2008: To the original poster, if you read this please send me a private message and I will contact you about this. I've been in similar shoes to you, and have gotten through it (at least to the point where it's no longer a problem). I know how unbearable ... (read in full...)
Huckabee's all wrong
Q. Ok.. This is kind of a touchy question, and I'm not even sure if I should be asking this or not. But I'm going to anyway.. just cuz I have very strong feelings about this. (as would anyone and their religion.) I'm LDS (a mormon) and there's...
A. 27 January 2008: I'm an atheist through and through. I'm English, but when I lived in the US my best friend there was a serious Mormon. I found him very open minded and a really nice guy. Above all he did what I think the fundamental teaching of Christianity tells ... (read in full...)
Why would a condom hurt
Q. i tried on a condom (i dont know why) i found in my brothers room it kind of hurt when it was stretching and ive never pulled my foreskin back fully before, please tell me if this is wrong...
A. 27 January 2008: It sounds like you're putting it on wrong. You need to roll it down over you, not pull it. If you do it right your foreskin should stay where it is.
It is a good idea to practice it until you can do it right. Otherwise it could be pretty embarras... (read in full...)
What not to wear
Q. Hi im going to a linkin park concert later on tonight what would you advise me to wear? Because I dress like a chav and thats not a good look for a concert of that genre. Any ideas?...
A. 27 January 2008: All black clothes should be ok. That's what the band seems to wear most of the time :) It's a much better look than being a chav too if you ask me. That 'look' has a bunch of negative connotations that we could all probably do without.... (read in full...)
Is this just a phase?
Q. Write now I am having a problem with my girlfriend drinking while she is studying abroad in England.I don't understand why she is doing it. She did drink her before when her boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, pressured her into drinking. She didn't like ...
A. 27 January 2008: 99.9% of students drink in England. It's at the center of the social scene and her not drinking would make it much harder for her to fit in. Asking her not to drink is not far from saying 'don't have any friends'.
It's quite different from the... (read in full...)
I'd like to gain knowledge from women and be able to help give advice to guys
Q. Hey everyone. I'm Jamie Williams.. (yes that's only a stage name on here so I can gain some credibility.. it is not my real name.) I'm a 17-yr-old male and I live in the states. My biggest pet-peeve is the typical alpha-male. They think t...
A. 27 January 2008: If you really want to learn, you need to learn about yourself. You could consider starting by thinking about why you hate alpha males so much.
Meditate on this thought for a while: "perhaps you hate them so much because you are jealous of them, th... (read in full...)
Confusion regarding anal sex
Q. dose anal sex hurt? i kno people that say it dose! and that say it dosent? i wanna try it but in scared.... someone help plz...
A. 27 January 2008: It depends on the person. And it depends on how you do it. Some people love it and some people hate it. One thing is for sure: if you do it wrong (too fast, no lube, not relaxed) then it hurts A LOT.
This website (written by a woman) has lots of ... (read in full...)
How does one fake being confident, when in reality s/he is shy?
Q. hey im a quite shy person. expecially with new people, i never know what to talk about. people always say fake it till you make it well i dont know how how can i fake being confident/outgoing? xoxo...
A. 27 January 2008: Confidence for most people comes with time. You can't fake it, and you can't really rush it. In the long run, I think the best way to become more confident is to have a good life: do things you like and get good at them, be a nice person and behave ... (read in full...)
Ok, what do guys really prefer in the way of hair, down there?
Q. hi i was just wondering do guys really care about how much hair we have down there? and if so what do u prefer? brazilian?trimmed?etc.....
A. 27 January 2008: Personally I like it natural. If my gf is really hairy then a bit of a trim is nice, but other than that its just fine left as it is. Shaved is just a bit too porn / pre-pubescent girl for my liking.
Shaved has become really trendy at the moment, ... (read in full...)
I go down on her but she won't repay the favour. Contemplating break up!
Q. im 17 n want my gf to give me head but she won't. How can I persuade her otherwise? I go down on her but she won't repay the offer. and shes done it b4 with her ex and sum random guy when she was drunk and blacked out just that the fact tha...
A. 27 January 2008: She supposedly loves you? Do you supposedly love her?
If you do love her, then you'll by sympathetic to her. That means not pressuring her into sex, and not holding her previous (obviously very bad experiences) against her. Right now you're b... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and need to get on birth control. What should I do?
Q. Hi...im 16 and i have hade sex!and i dont wanna tell my mom. but i really don't wanna get pregnant eather. i use a condom every time but i would like 2 get on birth control! what should i do?...
A. 26 January 2008: It's really hard to tell your mom, but if you can you'll probably be better off in the long run. She likely wants the best for you and can give you help and advice. That does depend on your mom of course, but she'll know a lot about contraception ... (read in full...)
One in the hand is worth two in the bush
Q. okay, i have known a guy online 2 years now. we were even 'together' for a few months before i said i wasnt comfortable until we met.. he lost his internet connection for almost a year but we still managed by sending emails each day. now he has his ...
A. 26 January 2008: By 'sexually-charged' I mean that there is flirtation between you, and, on some level (maybe not said directly), the recognition of attraction and the possibility of sex. By the way you described things it sounds as if this is the case. Especially ... (read in full...)
What can I do about erection problems?
Q. I have erectal and low libido problems, more than two years ago, and my wife is very upset about it, as she thinks, its because I don't love her anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me,I went t the doctors and they say there is no indication ...
A. 26 January 2008: That sounds like a really tough situation, you have my sympathy. You're obviously really trying to do something about this, good for you.
The advice of the other aunts is good. You're wife is clearly going through tough times, probably feeling ... (read in full...)
When guys sleep around why is it him 'just being a bloke'??
Q. Why is it that when a man does something, people say 'oh..he's just being a guy or bloke'? It's like when a guy does something, people don't take it as serious as when a girl does something. For example, when a female sleeps with multiple men, sh...
A. 26 January 2008: What girls and guys do should be taken equally seriously. It is by most people, in general. And I've heard the phrase "oh, she's just being a girl" as often as I've heard "oh, he's just being a guy". Both sexes have typical behaviour that we all ... (read in full...)
One in the hand is worth two in the bush
Q. okay, i have known a guy online 2 years now. we were even 'together' for a few months before i said i wasnt comfortable until we met.. he lost his internet connection for almost a year but we still managed by sending emails each day. now he has his ...
A. 26 January 2008: When you meet someone online you know almost nothing about them. However much you feel intimately connected to them through emails and similar, in reality you hardly know them. Only by spending time with them can true intimacy be had. What happ... (read in full...)
I'm disgusted... I found a fake rubber vagina in my bf's closet!
Q. I found a fake rubber sex toy resembling a woman’s vagina in my boyfriend’s closet! I got furious at him and threw it at his face and said “What’s this?” He got angry at me back and said it wasn’t my business, and he had it long before he knew me. ...
A. 26 January 2008: If you find it disgusting then you find it disgusting, but throwing it in his face and starting a fight over it is not a good way to resolve this. You owe him an apology for that. You really need to answer his phone calls too. What you are doing is ... (read in full...)
How to be more masculine and be myself
Q. Hi whats masculinity, my girl friends dumped me because she says i'm not masculine enough. Now I resent talking about my feelings to her, I wasn't comfortable with it at the time and now I know why. How can you increase your masculinity....
A. 26 January 2008: Rather than trying to modify yourself to be more 'masculine' because your ex-girlfriend said so, I suggest finding a girl who appreciates you for who you really are. Talking about your feelings is a great thing to do and many many girls out there ... (read in full...)
What was my responsibility
Q. please can someone help. Today at work I winessed another member of staff lose their temper and pull a little girls arm because the girl said something about her daughter apparently, the children are yr 3's anyways I had other things to do as in I ...
A. 26 January 2008: It sounds like you did the best you could do. With lots of kids running around things are hectic. Like you said 'you had other things going on'. In situations like that you have to make a quick decision and then get on with your day.
With ... (read in full...)
Current stage of love is so boring
Q. This is porbably a silly question but, is it wrong to wish that you were back at the begining of a relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year now and well, I'm kind of getting bored. I miss that excitement I use...
A. 26 January 2008: I suggest the two of you watch this video together and then talk about it. It's about exactly what you are describing (which by the way is totally normal and natural)...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-ewvCNguug
... (read in full...)
Need options other than abortion
Q. i have a problem i had sex with my bf last sunday and i did some thing foolish we forgot to use protection and now i think i am pregnant i'm not sure if i am but i've been having pre menstral discomfort but my period hasn't started yet it's not ...
A. 26 January 2008: Before you worry yourself too much, the first thing to do is find out for sure if you are pregnant or not. Go to the chemist and buy two pregnancy test kits. Use them both to be sure.
If you're not pregnant then learn from this and remember... (read in full...)
I have thoughts of her having sex with another man and it gets me depressed ... can we ever have normal sex again?
Q. Hi there aunts! I have a problem. Me and my girlfriend (2 years an a half) had a relationship breakdown quite some time ago. She went to another guy and she told me that she used the moment when she was weak and kissed her. She hinted that they...
A. 26 January 2008: I've been in a not dissimilar situation to you and I imagine you'll be feeling the other answers here relevant but somehow not helpful (no discredit to the other aunts i should add). So i'll try to give you different advice.
The only person w... (read in full...)
For men: do you think of your partner during masturbation?
Q. For the guys: Do you think of your girlfriend/wives when you masturbate?...
A. 26 January 2008: Sometimes, but rarely. Usually its a vague fantasy of no one person in particular.
(To be honest I'm not always thinking of her when I'm having sex with my gf. I think it's ok to bring fantasy like that into your sex life. And talking about it... (read in full...)
Do guys compare their girlfriends to the girls in porn?
Q. do guys compare their girlfriends to the girls in porn? I was just wondering because my boyfriend watches porn all the time and lately I have had a hard time in bed because I am worried that I am not attractive enough because he'll be thinking...
A. 25 January 2008: I have to disagree with the other aunts.
As much as a man might not consciously make the comparison, on a subconscious level the comparisons are unavoidable. The associations between (his) sexual arousal and the images he sees, repeated over and... (read in full...)
Why do younger men fall for older women?
Q. Why do younger men fall for older women? This keeps happening to me, and lately a relationship with a man 9 years younger is getting quite serious... I am worried that this is just a passing fancy....
A. 23 January 2008: Several reasons that I can think of. Note, these are all big generalizations!
Experience: older women tend to be more sure of themselves and more confident. They know what they want more in life, and in love too.
Independence:... (read in full...)
If my bf has never gotten a girl pregnant with the pull out method...does that mean he doesn't have pre-cum?
Q. My boyfriend is quite experienced sexually and has been using the pull out method for as long as he could remember. I understand that pre-ejaculates occur in some men but not others. If my boyfriend has never gotten a girl pregnant throughout his ...
A. 22 January 2008: Using a condom lessens the sensation (since you have a layer of latex in the way). But a thin condom makes almost no difference. FYI condoms can be good for men who come too fast because of this.
You should ALWAYS use a condom with a new sexual p... (read in full...)
If my bf has never gotten a girl pregnant with the pull out method...does that mean he doesn't have pre-cum?
Q. My boyfriend is quite experienced sexually and has been using the pull out method for as long as he could remember. I understand that pre-ejaculates occur in some men but not others. If my boyfriend has never gotten a girl pregnant throughout his ...
A. 21 January 2008: Total nonsense. All guys are the same with this. All men have some amount of pre-ejaculate. He's just been lucky. And really really stupid. DO NOT USE THE PULL-OUT METHOD! It's not contraception at all.
Please use contraception. Otherwise you run ... (read in full...)
Do I have a realistic plan?
Q. Ok. I'm 16, and yes sexually active. I'm on birth control, and were having unprotected sex, but he pulls out. My bf is 21. I graduate in a year and a half, when I'm seventeen. If I do happen to get pregnant I have it all planned out.. Just because ...
A. 17 January 2008: Please use contraception! The 'withdrawal method' as its called is totally unreliable, you'll end up pregnant soon enough. There's plenty of different types of contraception available if condoms are a big problem.... (read in full...)
I have a porn addiction and I need help getting through this.
Q. I am 20 and although I am single, I think I have a porn addiction. I have got the K9 web protection program seeing as that I couldn't reach a target of 1 week without porn (which lasted 1 day). Is there anything else I should to beat the ...
A. 17 January 2008: Porn can cause real addictions. And it can seriously damage relationships, as well as your sexual response in general. Porn can become for some the 'crack' of sexual stimulation: something that a 'real' woman can't really compete with.
If you real... (read in full...)
He wants anal sex, I don't as it sounds really bad, am I overreacting?
Q. My boyfriend wants me to try anal sex. I have never done it and for some reason can't bring myself to do it. anyone have any words of wisdom. am I overreacting or is is as bad as it sounds....
A. 17 January 2008: It's not true that if you're gay you have to be into anal sex! That's nonsense, just in case you were believing what some of the other aunts here have said.
If you don't want to do it, don't. It's that simple. It's not something everyone likes, a... (read in full...)
Will my jealousy ruin my relationship?
Q. I am an extremely jealous person, I'll admit it. I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now and I got a "great" idea to get him a dog for Valentine's Day. Now, he is already talking about all of the time he's going to spend with it and I'm ...
A. 16 January 2008: I recommend this book. It's a really eye-opening look at jealousy, and I found it very helpful in understanding my own jealous instincts:
"The dangerous passion" by David Buss... (read in full...)
He can't last more than 5 minutes and this is a problem for us!
Q. When my boyfriend and I had sex for the first few times, the first being when I lost my virginity, he was able to last for a good while. Now, he's only able to last for 10 minutes or so, at the most. Average time being 5 minutes or less. He says ...
A. 15 January 2008: 10 minutes is average for intercourse. 15 minutes is about the upper limit for many. So you'd better get used to it! A few men can last for ages, which sounds great but actually can be a problem too (and painful).
If you want to make the sex last... (read in full...)
Am I being foolish to toss away a good 5 year relationship for another guy?
Q. I have been in a 5 year relationship with a very kind loving man. im 23, hes 25. iv started having feelings for a friend, hes 30. i know he feels the same 4 me, but am i being foolish throwing away 5 years.. im jus not sure about my feelings f...
A. 15 January 2008: There's something you might want to know about our biology that could change how you think about this...
It's very normal to have the feelings you're having. In fact, it's actually by design! What you are feeling is what you are supposed to be fe... (read in full...)
Want to lose my virginity but uncomfortable with the way I look.
Q. i will be turning 17 in a few months. I am still a vrigin and one of the select few in my school. I kinda want to lose my virginity but i am very uncomfortable with the way i look. I feel totally disgusted wen i look in the mirrors. My friends say i ...
A. 15 January 2008: It's funny how I thought I was (aged 17) one of the only virgins left in my school.
Only later do you find out how many people pretend to have had sex to seem cool. It's most people.
I promise you there are A LOT more virgins in your school t... (read in full...)
What tolerance or threshold limit one should have on his/her past?
Q. I've recently got together with a girl who had quite a past. She has been very truthful and open about them. She's had 5 ex-boyfriends before we got together. I have no problem with that for sure as I have numerous past relationships myself. However ...
A. 15 January 2008: Those things are bad, but not unforgivable.
The fact that she told you indicates something VERY positive: that she wants to be honest and open with you, and trusts you. That's great.
It also shows that she has thought about her actions. And... (read in full...)
Met a guy off the internet, had sex and I like him. How do I tell him about my son?
Q. I'm 19, and I've been meeting guys off the internet. I've already met 3 this week, I've had sex with 2 of them and realised I like 1 of them. I've met him twice, but we only met for sex. He wants to meet me again and knows I have an 8 month old son. ...
A. 15 January 2008: I apologize if this sounds harsh. If at 19 years old you're meeting and having sex with multiple men in one week, whilst you already are a single mother, you should sit back and take stock of yourself and your behaviour before launching yourself ... (read in full...)
How can I get this guy off my back?
Q. hey, I asked this question a couple of hours ago but then realised that I hadn't included everything I wanted to. Well I've been going round to my boyfriend's mate's house quite a lot recently. His name is Dan* and he's 18. My boyffriend is Tom* ...
A. 14 January 2008: You are responsible for this situation. You've been leading Dan on by letting him continue suggesting that the two of you have a relationship. You doing nothing counts as causing problems in this case. Not making a move on him is one thing, but ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to wait til your 18 to lose your virginity or do anything sexual?
Q. is it ok to wait til your 18 or so or at uni to lose your virginity or do anything sexual (other than kissing)? p.s i live in uk where everyone has sex before 16 [rolls eyes] id like everyones personal oipinions please, also not "don't be press...
A. 7 January 2008: Everyone doesn't have sex before 16 in the UK. The average age of losing your virginity in the UK is 17. Most people pretend to have had sex, lie about it, or just keep quiet.
It is TOTALLY OK to wait until 18. You should wait until you feel com... (read in full...)
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