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female
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anonymous
writes: I don't know how to stop the arguing in my relationship. I don't know if it is my fault or his. He always says it's mine. For example, he got mad that I didn't want to have sex anymore because of my beliefs and said I must be cheating or that I don't love him. Then, last night he said he was going to buy a new saab (i have one that is two years old) and was saying how great it was and how many new features it had. I said it seems like that's all he cares about (being bigger and better than everyone else). I mentioned how after he bought me a camera for my birthday he got a similar one that had more features and bragged about it. He said if I don't like how he talks then that's my problem. He said I shouldn't have a problem with him trying to better himself, and that he doesn't like lazy people. I just think that bettering yourself doesn't mean buying bigger and better things than everyone around you. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (9 May 2007):
 "I just think that bettering yourself doesn't mean buying bigger and better things than everyone around you"
I'm in 100% agreement with you there. Seeking meaning in our possessions is shallow and unfulfilling (not to mention a big waste of money).
To be frank he sounds immature and insecure.
If he's not willing to respect your beliefs then he's not right for you. Mutual respect is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Make sure you stay strong and get what you want and need from this guy. If he won't provide that, make it clear that you're not going to stick around. He needs to shape up, or ship out.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (8 May 2007):
 If he truley loves you he should abide by your choices, whether or not he understands them. (I didnt totally understand what you meant at first, sorry).
Someone who loves you entirely will do anything to keep you, if that means not having sex until you get married than he should be prepared to work towards that goal.
As for the elctronic stuff, men can be damn right petty when it comes to things like this, and it may be another way of hurting you and bringing you down because he cant understand your beliefs. (men can be so stupid sometimes).
Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never changed my beliefs. I've always thought we should wait until marriage, it's just been really hard for me to abide by my beliefs since he doesn't have the same ones.
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (8 May 2007):
First of all what are your beliefs and how come the change around?
Did you talk and consider what that would mean to the relationship before going ahead with your change in beliefs?
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