Is it ok to wait til your 18 to lose your virginity or do anything sexual?
Q. is it ok to wait til your 18 or so or at uni to lose your virginity or do anything sexual (other than kissing)? p.s i live in uk where everyone has sex before 16 [rolls eyes] id like everyones personal oipinions please, also not "don't be press...
A. 7 January 2008: Everyone doesn't have sex before 16 in the UK. The average age of losing your virginity in the UK is 17. Most people pretend to have had sex, lie about it, or just keep quiet.
It is TOTALLY OK to wait until 18. You should wait until you feel com... (read in full...)
If you've just finished, but he says he loves you, is having sex with him the right thing to do?
Q. If you were seeing some one for quite a while and total in love but still a virgin and really thought he was the one to do it with... however you have just recently finished because of certain circumstances but he told you he still loved you... is ...
A. 4 January 2008: Since you haven't told us 'the circumstances' we can't really answer you.
But, since you split up with him, the answer is most likely NO. Why? Because you'll probably get hurt in the end doing it this way. One or the other of you will want to ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin with spots. Will this put the boys off me?
Q. I am a 15 yr old girl and i have been single for around a year now. i feel its the right time to get a boyfreind but there are non anywere and i feel none will like me because i am a virgin and i have spots which i feel put them off me. i dont have ...
A. 4 January 2008: Almost all boys your age are virgins and have spots too. They'll be worrying about exactly the same thing when they meet you!
You tend to make friends when you least expect it, so 'going out looking for them' doesn't usually work. The best thi... (read in full...)
Is it normal for 'doggy fashion' to hurt like this?
Q. Me and my bf have been together for over a year now, and have recently started having sex. Don't get me wrong, I love it. But I've began to have a problem. He wants doggy all the time... He has this way of making sure we do it, and I try to move ...
A. 4 January 2008: "He has this way of making sure we do it, and I try to move around into positions where he can't, as much, but it doesn't work."
This sounds worrying, for several reasons:
- You two are not communicating about sex, and you don't feel you c... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lives at campus and has nine males as roommates, I don't know what to think and do?
Q. I have been dating this girl for about two and a half years now. It has been a great relationship for the most part. We have helped each other through hard times in both our lives. However, there is five and a half year age difference between us. ...
A. 4 January 2008: Personally I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation. I think your request is reasonable. While perhaps a mixed accommodation might be ok given certain living arrangements (and ratio of girls to boys), 9 of them is reasonable for you to take ... (read in full...)
Am I unique?
Q. My boyfriend keeps telling me i am unique because i can not seem to "cum" for a man. He says every other woman can except me, and it's starting to get irritating! can anyone recommend any way i can try to do this without feeling or looking like an ...
A. 4 January 2008: 3 things.
1. You don't 'cum' for a man, you cum for yourself.
2. Many women don't orgasm easily, quite a few not at all. I've known quite a few that didn't til their late 20s or 30s.
3. He is clearly not helping by putting pressure on you.... (read in full...)
How do you know when you love someone or should throw in the towel?
Q. how do you know when you love someone, when you need to throw in the towl, and how u know you love someone else instead? i used to be very madly in love with a man.then things got boring and routine and we'd argue over stupid things all the t...
A. 4 January 2008: Unfortunately, there is nothing 'rational' about love at all. So you can't think yourself out of a situation, or use logic to figure out the best solution.
You have only one option: listen to your heart and follow it.... (read in full...)
Scared about Sex for the first time. Can you help?
Q. hi me and my boyfriend have decided we want to have sex, but i have never been fingered or used a tampon before so i'm scared it will hurt alot i tried to use a tampon the other day but i'm not sure what hole to insert in so can someone please t...
A. 4 January 2008: If you haven't been fingered you shouldn't tell him that you have. That is another reason why you're too young for this: if you can't be honest with someone you shouldn't be having sex with them (that's probably the 2nd most important thing about ... (read in full...)
How do I make anal enjoyable for both me and my boyfriend?
Q. How do I make anal enjoyable for both me and my boyfriend?...
A. 4 January 2008: I'm guessing from this that you don't like it?
First thing to bear in mind is that many people just don't like it. It's unfortunate that this current generation of teenage boys, brought up on internet porn, have masturbated to so much anal por... (read in full...)
Why won't she even let me take her shirt off?
Q. K, so I'm just wondring why the girl I'm dating won't tongue kiss, and won't go past kissing at all. We've gone on 5 dates now, and talk all the time, but she won't tongue kiss, her version of making out is just repetitive pecks, which I'm cool w...
A. 28 December 2007: Have you asked her? Try to have an open, direct, but gentle and caring conversation about it. There could be many reasons for this, you may be wrong that she's had sex before, or she may have had a bad experience.
Whatever you do, don't put pres... (read in full...)
I've found pornographic pics of my 16 yr old sister on the internet! What shall I do?
Q. ive found pictures of my sister on the internet. She is with different lads having sex, anal, bondage etc. she is only 16!! should i tell her or our parents or just ignore it?...
A. 28 December 2007: I agree with the other aunt. I would also suggest telling your sister first, but also telling her that if she doesn't tell your parents then you will. If you can retain her trust during this it will help. She may feel betrayed by you, and that will ... (read in full...)
My husband is in love with fast food. How do I get him back?
Q. Dear cupid, this problem is hard for me to solve and embarrassing too, but i really need your help. i'm 28 and my husband is 33. we've been married for 4 years and have a young son. over the past few months my husband's become obsessed with fa...
A. 28 December 2007: It sounds like you are having to deal with a really difficult situation.
Based on what you've said, it sounds like your husband has not only an addiction problem, but very possibly a more serious psychological problem developing. His behaviou... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's had over 100 lovers and I'm finding it hard to deal with
Q. I am having problems dealing with my girlfriends past. I have read other questions on this site where men say their girlfriends have had lots of partners but mine has had 136 and she is only 24, this is really eating away at me and I dont know what ...
A. 18 December 2007: I understand what you're going through. Don't take what some of the others have said here at face value. Rather understand that the feelings you are having are not unusual, and that you are to alone, they have experienced it too. This comes up here ... (read in full...)
How do I avoid the peer pressure to get drunk on my upcoming 18th birthday?
Q. its my 18th birthday soon and i'm going out drinking with my friends. only thing is, i dont want to get drunk. i just want to have a good time. has anyone got any tips on how to avoid the peer pressure? ...
A. 18 December 2007: Thats an interesting question. The fact that you're thinking about peer pressure and the situation you're going to be in shows that you are being responsible and self-aware. Thats a good thing.
Two things for you to think about:
1. Peer press... (read in full...)
I've got piles but he wants anal sex!
Q. i constently have piles and nthing will get rid of it and mi boyfriend is reall discusted by it he keeps askin for anal sex but it would really hurt and every time he sticks his penis up my virgina it reall hurts and stings wot should i do he will ...
A. 16 December 2007: Two things.
If your boyfriend is being that selfish then he probably doesn't love you. Someone who loves someone cares for them and if they are ill or have a medical issue then wants to help them, not make it worse.
The other thing: you liste... (read in full...)
Generally how soon do guys get bored in a new relationsip?
Q. How long does it take the new to wear off when you begin dating someone new?Is it true guys get bored after 6months and look for something new?...
A. 16 December 2007: There's no such thing as a stupid question. It's a reasonable question, and has some interesting science behind it.
The chemical the previous aunt was referring to is dopamine. But 'love' has much more to it than a single chemical (and even in ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to open up to me sexually?
Q. How do I get my husband to open up to me sexually, I have asked him to tell me what turns him on, all he says is "shut up" I have worn stockings and suspenders and not told him, let him discover it for himself when he felt my legs, then all he said ...
A. 15 December 2007: 'Shut up' is really REALLY not an acceptable answer. I think your suggestion to go to a councillor (together) is the right one, I would recommend pushing that harder. As hard as you need to to make it happen (which sounds like it will have to be ... (read in full...)
Why does he lie about his naked picture thing?
Q. why does my husband hide and lie about forwarding and looking at pictures of necked women?...
A. 15 December 2007: Perhaps because he's ashamed... (read in full...)
Last night I cheated on my husband. Should I tell him?
Q. I have a terrible dilemma--I cheated on my husband last night and I don't know if I should tell him or not. We have been together for over seven years (married two), I met him when I was 18 and he's the only guy that I had ever slept with or even ...
A. 11 December 2007: It sounds like you may have a very hard time keeping it a secret. If that's the case, the longer you leave it, the worse it will be. He will wonder, for example, why it took you two weeks to decide to tell him.
It's your call.
You can not t... (read in full...)
My husband of 7 years asked me to put my finger in his butt during sex... Does that make him gay?
Q. My husband of 7 years ask for me to put a finger in his butt when i go down on him and his favorite position is doggy style does this make him gay?????...
A. 10 December 2007: Not at all. Quite a few (completely-straight) guys like this. Men have something called a prostate, that gets stimulated if you stick your finger in there. That is a big turn-on and feels really good for some. Just watch your fingernails (and ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have sex with another man to get pregnant!
Q. My wife is desperate to get pregnant. She is 39 and we have been trying for about 4 years. She doesn't want to do IVF we tried IUI and she hated it. A good friend has offered to have sex with her (unprotected) to see if that would work. (nb I am not ...
A. 4 December 2007: For a male (and perhaps extreme) perspective, I can tell you what I would do. I'm not saying this is the right thing, only how I'd react.
I would be 100% unwilling to do this. I know that there is no way I would be able to handle the resentme... (read in full...)
He was desperate to marry me, now he wants to WAIT to get engaged. What's going on with him?
Q. My boyfriend has been telling me from two months into our relationship that he loves me more than life and wants to marry me. We lost our virginity to each other 6 months ago and now we're approaching a year. I want him to propose to me for ...
A. 4 December 2007: What Irish has said is 100% correct. Read it carefully.
Your sense of security can only come from within yourself. Insecurity is what pushes people away from us, by working on your own inner strength and self esteem you will achieve two things: ... (read in full...)
He was desperate to marry me, now he wants to WAIT to get engaged. What's going on with him?
Q. My boyfriend has been telling me from two months into our relationship that he loves me more than life and wants to marry me. We lost our virginity to each other 6 months ago and now we're approaching a year. I want him to propose to me for ...
A. 3 December 2007: Why would him proposing to you allow you to 'start your lives together'? That's a strange thing to say. Surely you've already started your lives together? You've been going out nearly a year. That's a year of having your lives together. Getting ... (read in full...)
He is constantly on the internet or looking at hot girls on tv and masturbating. How do I talk about this without putting him in defence mode?
Q. I see my husband looking at other women all the time. We have sex the night before and the next morning his is on the internet or looking at some hot girl on tv and masterbateing. I am so confussed and it makes me not want to be touch by him. W...
A. 3 December 2007: Tell him how it makes you feel. How you tell him is important. You have to make the conversation entirely about you and how you feel, if you make it about him then he'll get defensive...
- Don't use the word 'you' other than starting the sentence... (read in full...)
Any ideas for a pair of tattoos?
Q. hey guys, my boyfriend of many years and i are planning on getting wrist tattoos composed of two words, as in he gets one part i get the other (ie. true and love) and yes we are 100% sure of this, but need some suggestions or some ideas for a ...
A. 3 December 2007: I suggest you get two bracelets made with the words on, and wear them for a year. If after a year you like the words and still want to get the tattoos made then go for it.... (read in full...)
He has problems ejaculating! Is it me?
Q. mmm... wenever i masturbate my boyfriend.. give him oral.. or we have sex with me on top.. he gets no pleasure out of it + tells me to stop.. :/ its been like this since the 1st time and wev been together nearly a year. he has always had probl...
A. 1 December 2007: This problem comes up frequently here. Here is a previous reply I wrote about it:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-this-common-for-men.html... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a man to be 'easy' but not a woman??
Q. I've known this man for 6 months. We went out for a drink one night and I went to his house afterwards. We had sex for the first time. Days after he says a good woman should not follow a man home and have sex on the first night. I am just too ...
A. 1 December 2007: Personally I'm not big on sex on the first night... with someone you just met. But you've known each other 6 months. This is ample time for the two of you to get to know each other. This may have been your first 'date' but it's very far from just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't climax with me... What am I doing wrong?
Q. i have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and i cant get him to climax. in all the time that we have been together i swear i can count it on one hand how many times it has happened. he isnt my first and with the others i had no ...
A. 22 November 2007: I wrote a long answer to the same question from someone else here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-this-common-for-men.html... (read in full...)
Should I confess all about my cheating?
Q. Im engaged to be married to the most wonderful man in the world he is my soul mate and i love him more than anything and anyone in the world. Unfortunately i was very immature when we first got together and for the first 6 months or so of our ...
A. 20 November 2007: If you tell him he could leave you.
You need to decide whether you will ever tell him, or not. If you will, now is the time, before you are married, because that gives him a chance to decide whether or not he wants to marry you. To tell him in 1... (read in full...)
How do you date a stripper and not get jealous?
Q. I have been dating a woman who strips for a living at a club. I liked her from the start and she and I have good chemistry… the sex is great. She and I met at the club she works at. After I came to the club just to see her and after buying a ...
A. 19 November 2007: You either have to accept her as she is, and get over the stripping, or leave her. It depends how strong you are and whether you can cope with the jealousy without taking it out on her. But don't feel too bad if you can't cope, very few men could, I ... (read in full...)
How can I find out if she's gay before I make a fool of myself?
Q. Okay..lets me try to explain. There is this really cute girl in my class at school. She's a notetaker for another student that is a good friend of mine. Anyways this girl (notetaker)always smiles at me, talks to me a bit, and says hi. She sit...
A. 16 November 2007: She could very easily miss those 'signals', from what you've described I wouldn't assume she knows.
I suggest telling her. If she's gay or bi then she'll let you know. And if she's straight she'll most likely let you know too.... (read in full...)
How can I find out if she's gay before I make a fool of myself?
Q. Okay..lets me try to explain. There is this really cute girl in my class at school. She's a notetaker for another student that is a good friend of mine. Anyways this girl (notetaker)always smiles at me, talks to me a bit, and says hi. She sit...
A. 16 November 2007: Does she know if you're gay? Tell her, you'll probably be able to tell if she's open to it by her reaction. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to not destroy friendships?
Q. Hi. well i am 16 years old and i just broke up with a bf of me. A friend of mine keeps messing up my relation. everytime i got a new bf she always messes it up. She messed it this time up also. Well where friends since we where babys. We are like ...
A. 16 November 2007: If that's not 'it', she needs to tell you what 'it' is... ask her. And don't let her avoid answering the question truthfully. It's good that you're dealing with this by trying to talk openly about it. Stick with that approach.... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and look at too much porn and need help to stop!
Q. I look up too much porn and I'm 14 I need help...
A. 13 November 2007: Try moving your PC to a family room. The possibility of your parents walking in at any time will make you much less inclined to look at porn. Porn can be addictive, sometimes the best way to deal with an addiction is to make the object of your ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to meet a woman who wants sex but not marriage?
Q. what is best way to meet a woman (in 30s) who wants a sexual relationship with out marriage....
A. 13 November 2007: Find a woman who is married already?
(I'm not advocating that).
You're going to have a hard time with this one. I suggest meeting women and asking them early on how they feel about marriage.... (read in full...)
He's not interested in having sex anymore.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend now for 2 years, we live together and everything. We have been though alot, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm fighting a losing battle with him, just last summer we were having problems with a girl texting and calling his ...
A. 11 November 2007: It sounds like he's drifted away from you emotionally. The other women, and now the porn, are his way of redirecting his energy and emotions. Right now he doesn't want or need sex with you because he's getting his gratification via porn.
You a... (read in full...)
I can't carry on like this. What should I do?
Q. well im 15years old and i only lost my virginity 4 days after my 15th birthday,but recentelly everyone thinks i am a slut because i lost it to my ex-girlfriends, sisters boyfriend called peter i love him and have been sleeping with him since but no ...
A. 10 November 2007: So you are 15, sleeping with a 24 year old man who has a girlfriend? And at the same time you are sleeping with a 26 year old man who is in another relationship too?
'Slut' is a nasty word, but it means promiscuous and sexual in a non-mono... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date a younger guy?
Q. I like this guy for long time. We have been friends for almost 4 years and i seem to have not lost interest in him. I have tried so hard to stop liking him because he is a year younger than me but it's really hard. I even dated other guys to try ...
A. 10 November 2007: Not at all. Some examples:
When I was 15-17 my (first) girlfriend was 1 year older than me.
When I was 17-18 my next girlfriend was 2 years older than me.
My ex-wife was a year older than me.
My current girlfriend is two years older th... (read in full...)
Quite randomly what does this mean
Q. hi, ok there is this guy at university that apparently likes me, his best friend told me he does. however i dont know whether to believe him. but anyway, my question is the guy that apprently likes me asked me a wierd question, and i would liek any ...
A. 10 November 2007: If he likes you then he could be getting nervous around you. When people are nervous they tend to say stupid things: the first thing that pops into their head. He may have just blurted this out to make conversation with you. I know I've said some ... (read in full...)
She feels dirty.
Q. Alright...I recently found out that my girlfriend of over a year and half cheated on me. This guy kissed her and tried to put the "moves" on her but she said she stopped it. She said this guy made her feel like I used to make her feel when we were ...
A. 10 November 2007: You can certainly recover from this if you both want to, she only kissed the guy, which whilst bad, is not terrible.
She needs to decide whether she wants to be with you or not. If she does, then she needs to re-engage with you and not see this... (read in full...)
What if she takes it the wrong way?
Q. Ok, well, i slept with a friend of mine, that i havent known for all that long, guys have used her in the past for sex but we got drunk, 1 thing led to another, and yea. But i genuinly like her, what happened happened i cant do anything about that, ...
A. 10 November 2007: Ask her to be your girlfriend. Be her boyfriend, and be a great boyfriend. Show her respect and care. Don't talk about the former men in her life, forget the ever existed. She doesn't want to be reminded, neither do you.
It sounds like she may ... (read in full...)
What can I do to not destroy friendships?
Q. Hi. well i am 16 years old and i just broke up with a bf of me. A friend of mine keeps messing up my relation. everytime i got a new bf she always messes it up. She messed it this time up also. Well where friends since we where babys. We are like ...
A. 10 November 2007: This sound like typical girl jealousy. Perhaps she needs a boyfriend too? Once she has one she'll be busy enough not to mind if you have one. The good news is that if one or the other of you has a nice boyfriend, they tend to have other male ... (read in full...)
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