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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hey well i have erm quite an embarrassing question, my boyfriend and i have recently decided to become sexually active. we have decided to wait till next month at least when im 16, as he is 19 and we love each other too much to cause any trouble. we have being together for 14 months and i do love him with all my heart. we have just started "doing things" together, oral sex but he has asked me if i would do anal. i said noo i personally dont wanna try it, but he said he would let me do it to him with a strap on if i did :S do you think it would be woth trying it? or should i not, i know it sounds pretty pathetic but is anal that bad?? thankss for reading x
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 I think your guy's been watching too much porn ; )
You don't say if you've had vaginal sex yet. If not, start with that!! - it's plenty nice enough for the time being, I'd have thought. And if you do get to the point of wanting to indulge his fantasies (because let's face it, he's pushing this - you don't even know what vaginal sex feels like yet, by the sound of it) - if you do get to agreeing to anal sex, you've got to be very careful about how you do it, otherwise you could do yourself an injury, let alone feeling as if it's something you wish you hadn't done.
If you don't do it right, it will hurt like hell. And what's all this with the strap-on? He's saying that because he wants to do it - not just to show he'll let you do to him what he wants to do to you! Hmm, the more I think about this, the more I think you should say 'let's do it in the right place for starters, and see how we go' - because the vagina is the natural place, and the alternative wasn't designed for sex. There is a sphincter muscle that your boyf is going to have to get through, and to do that he'll need lubrication, and for you to be relaxed and aroused. And if you have a lot of anal sex with him, it will end up weakening that sphincter, and you'll start to be more at risk of a less that competent anus ... just think a little bit about what that means ... i won't go into details....
Basically, he's got a bee in his bonnet about this one, but I think that if and when you do it, it needs to be a pretty occasional side-dish, rather than the main course. : ) And really, really, don't get forced into anything.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 I'm with Yos in this one. Yos, I don't think you went off the ball: you had to give the poster a reason why anal sex would definitely be a bad idea for her. Poster, I think you should follow the excellent advice Yos has given you.
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A
female
reader, Miss Amy +, writes (21 March 2008):
 Very sensible to wait, there is alot of people out there who don't!!Anal isn't at all bad, being honest it does hurt the first few times you try it! If you were to consider it use lubricant! Men want to try anal on their partners because that area is tighter he gets a bit more pleasure. If you decide to try it get him to play with you whilst you are doing anal this gives you loads of pleasure also!As for using a strap on on him, the prostate gland is about the size of a chestnut. Just at the root of his penis. The prostate gland produces part of the ejaculatory fluid (also called seminal fluid). It sometimes gets called the male g-spot (it has lately been referred to as the “P” spot). Because of medical conditions some men have enlarged prostates that can cause pain or discomfort. But for many men it is a wonderful sex organ that provides deep sexual pleasure.Don't be preasurised into doing anything you don't want to do though this is your decision at the end of the day!!!!!I hope it all goes well for you which ever decision you make!!Good LuckMiss Amy xx 33
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 I recommend you stick to 'straight sex' for a while. By that i mean oral and vaginal sex.
Why? Well, sex comes with very complex and new emotions, that take time to learn how to cope with. Pushing the envelope with things like anal and using a strap-on on your boyfriend is going to make it more difficult for you to cope with the emotions you experience. It's like just getting your driving license and jumping into a racing car. The likely result: you'll hit a tree and hurt yourself.
This is one of the unfortunate side-effects of the internet in my opinion. By showing 'everything', it means that kids get exposed to much more extreme sexual content than previous generations. These things are shown out of context, without the supporting information to explain what is 'normal' and / or 'average'. Porn is not reality, or anything like it (just like life is not like a Hollywood movie), but nowhere are we reminded of that. When you are exposed to large numbers of extreme sex images (as any teenage boy with an internet connection is these days), it's very hard to retain a sense of what is normal, ordinary and appropriate.
I pity young girls, like the question giver here, who encounter boys brought up in this environment. Your average 16 year old boy will be intimately familiar with things like gagging, double anals and golden showers. One can only hope that any girls they get close to have enough sense to point out that just because they've seen these things online, doesn't mean they have to be a part of their own sex-lives. The reality is that whilst there are certainly many smart kids with their heads screwed on that realize this, there are unfortunately others that do not.
Sorry for the side track. My short answer: I strongly recommend not doing this, at least for the time being. I suggest you focus on having good 'regular' sex before you start to explore the more extreme and kinkier realms.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Some like it, some arnt bothered either way, some love it,
some hate it - it really is something you would have to decide for yourself.
A strap on is a pretty strange thing for a man to agree with but again 'horses for courses' and all that. I would certainly make him take his turn first as he is liable to not agree to it once you have kept to your part of the bargin. x
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (21 March 2008):
 I'm quite impressed to hear that you're going to wait until you're sixteen! That's definitely a mature attitude to have.
As for anal. Well, i suggest asking to do it to him first - just so you know that he definitely knows what he's going to be putting you through if you do it.
I personally don't want to try it either but my boyfriend seems quite.. keen on the idea. But he's not quite so understanding and would never let me do it to him with a strap on lol. So you're lucky in that respect i suppose.
Some people enjoy anal. some people don't.
It is usually quite painful as far as i know, especially for the first time. If you have a partner who is gentle and understanding - and knows what he's doing, then it'll be a better experience for you. You also have to remember to use lots of lubricant (loads of it) to make it less painful and far more easier on you.
Only try it if you want to. If part of you is thinking 'i dont care if it does or doesnt hurt im not willing to try it anyway' then don't let him talk you into it. Lots of people know lots about anal sex on this site so you should get lots of helpful info. This is just my little input.
best of luck
miss kin x
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