A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:ive been going out with my gf for about 5months now. and the other night we had sex and we did use protection dont worry, but now shes avoiding me a bit and im worried she'l break up with me. but i think shes annoyed by the fact that i told all my mates that we slept together and now there always asking her.i think shes really upset how can i talk to her and make it up to her? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lezlie  +, writes (26 March 2008):
hiya
right well im a bit older than you,and a girl...so trust me i know what im talking about its happened to me and plenty of my mates..
there was nothing wrong with telling your mates,sex is a big thing at your age.its part of growing up and that...you cant really be expected to keep it to yourself but im pretty sure you shouldnt have been shouting it from the rooftops..its obvious you really like this girl if your worried about how shes feeling now,and havent just discarded her feelings on the subject.so high 5 for being a good guy at such a young age!
obviously your mates are immature,there meant to be at that age..and probably couldnt see wrong in saying it to your girlfriend,maybe have a laugh..clearly they had no regard for how this would make her feel..
my advice is to have a word with your mates,maybe ask them to leave it out..its now between you and your girlfriend..say there remarks has left her a bit upset and maybe see if a few would apologise..
the reason i say thiis is coz your girlfriend probably feels disrespected and that horrible..she clearly liked you enough to have sex with you but she didnt want all your mates knowing or commenting,naturally...it mightend be that she doesnt love you anymore,shes probably just embarrassed..
i say,go up to her and apologise on behalf of your mates and promise her something like this wont happen again..ask her to trust you again and that you have spoke to your mates and told em off..
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Thanks for the follow up, I'm curious as to what exactly you told your mates, and what they are saying to your girlfriend. And one more question for you, whose feelings are most important to you, yours or your girlfriend's?
I guess that she hasn't broken up with you, so there's still hope. What have you done about making it up to her?
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): i am actually 12 people and i no what i did waz wrong. and i dont brag about it neither i wrote this for some help not to be insulted.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 There is always the first time.
You made a mistake and I hope you learned your lessons in life.
Words once spoken out cannot be withdrawn.
In future , be careful of what you say and think first before you say anything.
You may deny it to your friends and apologize to her but
whether she will want to be friends with you is another matter.
Let the storm blow over and time will heal her wounds.
You may lose her forever and what you will do now will have not much effects.
Just lie low till time forgets.....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 March 2008):
 I ferverently hope that all the 10-18 year old girls who write in asking about having sex read this post. THIS post says it all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): i wouldnt start bragging because this is statutory rape and you can be put on the sex offenders register which will ruin all/any chances of working with children. your gf not talking to you should be the least of your problems(dont u just love studying law)
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (18 March 2008):
 (This statement is only if you really are the age you put)
Your to young to be having sex way way way way to young im shocked that you even know what it is let alone how to do it your breaking the law and possibly your bodies as neither of you are fully developed at all i think you should stop now wait till your old enough and its LEGAL why cant you enjoy being kids stop trying to be adults!
By telling your friends what you have done your not showing any respect to this girl keep it in your head or better yet keep it in your pants!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): You are a total prick, young sir, and I hope she gives you a severe kick in the balls for what you've done to her reputation. You should be ashamed of yourself. Grovelling on hands and knees and begging for forgiveness is the least you can do.
I just hope that she tells all her mates that she was totally unsatisfied because you either couldn't get it up or only lasted for five seconds before squirting your dirt.
I also hope that you learn some discretion from this experience.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 March 2008):
I'm going to be a very stern 'Aunt' here, sorry for that, but you did ask for some advice...
Okay, first off, you are too young to be having sex, if your age is correct! And you actually just proved it by not realizing the consequences of your actions.
If you really want to make it up to her, then I suggest you lie. And that means you lie to your mates and tell them that you were just making it up, you didn't have sex with her and it was all just a joke gone bad. You have to convince them this is the case. And then you grovel to your girlfriend, though if I were in her shoes, I would drop you right away.
You have labeled your girlfriend as someone who might be easy to get into bed, is that what your mates are asking her? You hurt her feelings, you were very immature and you need to realize this.
You were very wrong to tell them and you are wrong to be having sex at your age, as you obviously care more about yourself and your image than you do about her.
I hope you have learned a lot from this experience and that you reconsider being sexually active until you are older and mature enough to deal with the emotional consequences of being intimate with someone.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Aged 10 - 12..? If this is correct, then telling all your mates comes as no surprise to me. It was a silly, immature thing to do, and hopefully when you get older, you won't go around bragging about the sex you have. And can you blame her for being mad?! Honey, it's gonna take a long time to make up for something that hurtful. She'll probably feel used, and will worry like Hell about what people will think of her. I hope you didn't go into detail about it with your friends! Jeez honey... You need to talk to her and tell her your truly sorry and won't do it again, but mean it okay! Please, don't break her heart over this.. Good luck :]
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 You said your age is between 10 and 12. Is that true?
In that case, its no surprise at all that your girlfriend is upset! She (and you too) could get in big trouble.
Besides, I think you know why she's upset right? She thinks you were showing off to your mates? Were you? You probably were.
You need to act like a grown up (since you've gone and done a 'grown up' thing and had sex). That means:
- Being honest with her why you told your mates (because you were showing off)
- Apologize to her, and mean it.
Sorry to be a bit stern, but you're too young to be doing this.
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